ALRIGHT, NEXT SEMESTER STAFF
Gailfrancis and Parallelless, I'm looking at you two
If you two act anything like how 95% of the current staff is I'm going to beat you with bags of onions and throw you into a giant vat of cake mix
In all seriousness, though, I understand that people can have late items if you've been out of school for a few days, but your articles should not be over three days late if you've been in school since we drafted for writing. Then again, you're probably too busy playing games on your laptop during classes and studyhalls instead of, y'know, actually writing for the paper. A day late? Alright, that's usually not too bad, but when your article is due on a Friday, and you don't even hand it in the next Monday, I want to punch you in the mouth so hard your teeth will tear your asshole, along with a couple of new ones.
Don't try and force religious views down on people through The Shadow. That's not how it works, and the fact that a lot of people on the staff are like "LOL YEAH LET'S RUN IT" makes me lose even more respect for you and them.
Same with controversial subjects. Please don't force your views on gay rights, abortion, etc. through the paper. We've talked about this. Don't be biased. You're writing a news article, not an editorial. Even if you were writing an editorial, your language and blatant bashing of those who are pro-choice and for gay rights is absolutely disgusting and shouldn't be printed in the (school) paper.
Regarding the fundraisers, we had well over three weeks to sell as much as we could. There were 60 jerky sticks we had to sell, and 52 (maybe 54?) fruit snacks. And kids eat that shit up in our school. Don't tell me (and more importantly, our supervisor) that you couldn't sell them all. I sold out of my first box of fruit snacks in under a week, and the second one about 7 school days later...and I wasn't even approaching people. I also sold out of jerky before the three weeks was up. How did you manage to sell less than 10 of each item? I know for a fact most of you left the jerky in your locker. Please don't tell me you didn't; I can tell you're lying. :I
Along with all of that, please proofread your shit before you turn it in. Not only am I a proofreader, I am the main photo editor (and the only one who knows what they're doing, apparently), I run the website for the paper, and I have my own articles to write. I don't want to have to go through your articles and make the font the right font (we use Bookman Old Style, not Papyrus or Times New Roman), the right size (16 for header, 10 for byline and body, "by" is not capitalized, there is no colon between "by" and your name, and the byline is in bold, we only went over this 1,000 times with our supervisor), and I don't want to have to justify it. I also don't want to have to correct your quite obvious grammar blunders, and I definitely am not happy having to correct spelling on words such as "school". I do not want to have to put periods on the ends of sentences, or stick in some commas so that your sentences do not turn even the most large-lunged man into a crippled, gasping mess on the floor by the time someone is finished reading them aloud. You are seniors. I should not have to do this.
To everyone who bitches about other people getting their work done, when they haven't gotten their own work done: stop trying to get other people to work and do your own damn work. You're holding up both you AND the person you're getting angry at. Finish your work, and then bother them. Checking up on them? Okay, but don't stand there for ten minutes going "omg lyk u rly need 2 finish dis".
Oh, and "photo editing" staff? If you're not aware of how to photoshop an image for the paper, please ask me instead of doing what you think is right. 100% of the time so far, your "I think this is right" images are darker than the original image and I have to re-photoshop them anyway. I know I can be mean sometimes when dealing with this sort of thing, but I'm only mean because you're doing your jobs badly. We went over how to photoshop the images correctly many times when we first got our positions. I am also the head photo editor. I am here for you to ask me questions on photo editing. Please do so, instead of creating more work for me and you. I would rather take the 5 minutes to explain/show you how to do the correct photo editing than have you do it completely wrong and me have to fix it while being pissy with you, wasting everyone's time.
And for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, use an actual fucking camera to take pictures for the paper. We have a camera. I have a camera. STOP USING PHOTOBOOTH. STOP USING YOUR SHITTY PHONE AS A CAMERA.It makes me want to rip out your eyes and pour salt in your sockets. No, but really. It looks really fucking bad. It looks unprofessional. Prior to popular belief, I can't make shitty, blurry pictures into artful masterpieces in photoshop. And you guys are the ones who were bitching about the paper looking bad whenever it came out the last two times.
If only the third time really was the charm. But, y'know, as soon as this shit comes out on the 21st, when we do a commendations and recommendations of the paper, all of you are going to be bawwwing about how "bad" certain stuff was. Well, you know what, cupcakes? It's your own damn fault you aren't willing to put work into the paper. That's why it comes out "bad". Am I (and maybe one or two other people on our 10-people staff) the only one actually putting a good amount of work into this? Am I the only one taking this shit seriously?
Along with the whole "use actual cameras" thing, try your best to not blur the fuck out of the pictures. If you do blur it, retake it; it's always obvious on the preview of the camera when it's blurry, so don't tell me it isn't or that you didn't know...when there is someone's face blurring across the picture.
How I have not completely flipped my shit on any of you is absolutely mind-boggling. Maybe I'm holding onto the hopes that you'll learn and get better, but considering neither of those seemed to have happened, I think I might just flip some tables tomorrow if any of this happens again. Mondays are already bad for everyone. Don't make it worse for us, please. This pisses me off, and my medication is supposed to prevent me from snapping again. PLEASE, just do your work so I don't snap. I don't want to snap. It's bad for me, and it's bad for you. It might hurt your "feelings", but for me, it's a legitimate health problem. So, please. I've asked before.
Oh, and guys? The paper is not free to print. It costs us money to print it, so stop just taking it. Stop thinking you're allowed one for free. I don't care that you wrote stuff in it; I did too, and I'm paying for mine. It's fifty cents. I'm pretty sure most of you can manage that; you certainly blow off more than that on snack foods from the snack shack every day. And you know, if you don't have money but want to read it, ask someone on the staff. They'll let you borrow theirs, or they'll get you one. tl;dr for that part stop stealing The Shadow we need that money to print it
tl;dr for the entire thing - The people on the newspaper staff at my school are, for the most part, lazy and do things wrong all the time (even when we've gone over it many times) so I'm bitching on the internet about it instead of beating their heads in (even though I would like to most days)
Now I'll probably sound like a shitty person or OMG SO MEEN, but trust me, you guys, you don't want to work with these people. I don't dislike them, but I dislike what they do. A few of them, I like. However, that does not excuse what they've done. Just because I am on good terms with you does not mean you can get away with doing nothing without me getting upset. People, oh my god. :1 This isn't even all of it. I wish I could totally go off but there will always be something I forget.
I'm not the managing editor.
Please don't turn me into the honorary one.
Alright, wow, this turned out really fucking long.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Hey, you "girl gamers"
If you think you're special because you play videogames, stop it.
Especially those of you who just pick up a game and become obsessed with it, only to go around screaming "I AM SUCH A GAMER GURLLL LoLLLL x0x BRB SKYRIM & GUITAR HEROOOO TXT IT"...
No. Stop it. You are not special because you have a vagina and happen to play videogames. Become aware of this. I am tired of seeing pointless updates that say shit like "BRB GUYS BUSY WITH SKYRIM <3" and "LOL IMMA GO PLAY *GAME TITLE HERE* NOWWW BBL LOL". First off, no one gives a shit that you're going to be playing a game. If you're talking to people and want others to know that you're going to be away, then fucking tell them personally instead of posting an update that hardly any of them will read or see on time.
This is especially ridiculous when the game has...absolutely nothing to do with the original post. For example, you post something saying you're going to be busy for a while and might not get stuff done. Okay, cool, we all have those times. However, when you go on saying "I MIGHT BE TOO BUSY PLAYING *GAME TITLE*...LOL BUT WE'LL SEE" it makes me want to strangle you with the bloody, cold corpse of a mangled flamingo.
Lucky for you, I don't have the direct availability for those resources, otherwise there would be a pile of people and flamingos laying in my basement. Right now, though, it's just VHS tapes and beer. At least of the smaller, easily movable things.
Anyway...holy shit. Girls, you aren't special for playing games. You're not special for being on the internet (although when kids [it seems girls especially] first log onto a site for their first time, they are massive idiots with the IQ points of a bag full of onions and the internet in general seems to draw out the ~special~ kids quite easily [read as: those who try and fake illnesses {usually mental}]). You're not special because you got the newest, most talked-about game.
However, you might be able to redeem some of the respect that I lost for you when you said you were a girl gamer (or did anything of the above, or more) by talking game talk with me and actually being able to play a game (completely) without cheating.
Specifically: Dragon Age games that no one seems to play completely through because they ragequit.
And that is my "me being a massive dick" post for the hour.
Especially those of you who just pick up a game and become obsessed with it, only to go around screaming "I AM SUCH A GAMER GURLLL LoLLLL x0x BRB SKYRIM & GUITAR HEROOOO TXT IT"...
No. Stop it. You are not special because you have a vagina and happen to play videogames. Become aware of this. I am tired of seeing pointless updates that say shit like "BRB GUYS BUSY WITH SKYRIM <3" and "LOL IMMA GO PLAY *GAME TITLE HERE* NOWWW BBL LOL". First off, no one gives a shit that you're going to be playing a game. If you're talking to people and want others to know that you're going to be away, then fucking tell them personally instead of posting an update that hardly any of them will read or see on time.
This is especially ridiculous when the game has...absolutely nothing to do with the original post. For example, you post something saying you're going to be busy for a while and might not get stuff done. Okay, cool, we all have those times. However, when you go on saying "I MIGHT BE TOO BUSY PLAYING *GAME TITLE*...LOL BUT WE'LL SEE" it makes me want to strangle you with the bloody, cold corpse of a mangled flamingo.
Lucky for you, I don't have the direct availability for those resources, otherwise there would be a pile of people and flamingos laying in my basement. Right now, though, it's just VHS tapes and beer. At least of the smaller, easily movable things.
Anyway...holy shit. Girls, you aren't special for playing games. You're not special for being on the internet (although when kids [it seems girls especially] first log onto a site for their first time, they are massive idiots with the IQ points of a bag full of onions and the internet in general seems to draw out the ~special~ kids quite easily [read as: those who try and fake illnesses {usually mental}]). You're not special because you got the newest, most talked-about game.
However, you might be able to redeem some of the respect that I lost for you when you said you were a girl gamer (or did anything of the above, or more) by talking game talk with me and actually being able to play a game (completely) without cheating.
Specifically: Dragon Age games that no one seems to play completely through because they ragequit.
And that is my "me being a massive dick" post for the hour.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Blah
Emo.
[] I cry a lot.
[] I go to local shows.
[x] I wear black everyday.
[x] I write sad poetry.
[x] I play an acoustic guitar.
[] My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.
[x] I think about suicide or death often.
[x] People have told me to cheer up.
[x] I cry when I see dead animals. (depends on the animal, obviously)
[] My myspace pics are black or white or angled.
[x] I wear many band shirts.
[] No one understands me.
[x] I don't talk too often.
[] I look down when I walk.
[] I wear black eyeliner.
[] I have an ex I still cry over.
[] My hair is black
[] My hair covers one of my eyes.
[] I always say 'life sucks'.
Total: 8
Nerd.
[x] I have straight A's.
[] I wear glasses. (CONTACTS)
[] I always do my homework and study.
[] Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.
[x] Computer games.
[] I'm 'teachers pet'.
[] I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
[] I have a bedtime.
[] I use an asthma inhaler.
[x] I carry a calculator with me.
[] I bring my lunch to school.
[/] I always follow the rules.
[] I'm shy around the opposite sex.
[x] I'm always on the computer.
[x] I've never had beer or cigarettes.
[]I always answer every question in class right.
[x] I correct people's grammar.
[x] I read a lot.
[x] School is very important to me.
[] I always stump people.
Total: 8.5
Rebel.
[x] I always speak my mind.
[x] I have 0% of school spirit.
[x] Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
[x] I stand up for what I think is right.
[] On spirit days at school, I wear the rival's colors.
[] Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.
[] I won't listen to authority figures.
[] I always break the rules.
[] I refuse to compromise.
[] I'm always arguing with people.
[x] I love debate.
[x] I always do what's unexpected of me.
[x] I don't give a shit what people think of me.
[x] If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.
[x] I'm not afraid to contradict others.
[] I only respect my own beliefs.
[x] If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.
[] I laugh at compromising people.
[] I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.
[] Rules were meant to be broken.
Total: 10
Jock.
[x] I'm on one or more sport teams. (have been)
[] I always wear my varsity jacket.
[x] I've won awards for my athletic ability.
[] I will only date popular girls/guys.
[] School Spirit 100%.
[] I'm going to a college for sports.
[] I watch sports on tv all the time
[x] I'm muscular. (eh, strong, but not buff)
[] I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.
[] Go Team!
[] I'm a chick/dude magnet.
[] I eat a lot.
[] I'm egotistical.
[] I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.
[] I sit at the jock lunch table.
[] All I talk about with my friends is sports.
[] I go to lots of sports games.
[x] I'm very athletic
[] I wear sport inspired clothing.
[x] play at least 3 different sports. (I can)
Total: 5
Comedian.
[x] I'm funny.
[x] I'm always making jokes.
[] I interrupt class by making people laugh.
[x] I like to entertain people.
[] I worship Kevin Smith.
[] I watch comedies more than anything.
[] I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot
[x] I'm sarcastic.
[x] I've been told I'm hilarious.
[x] I always imitate people.
[x] I pull lots of pranks.
[x] I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.
[] I have to prove myself by being funny.
[x] People expect me to make jokes, always.
[x] I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.
[x] If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.
[x] Jim Carrey is my idol
[x] I mostly get along with everybody.
[] At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.
[] My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.
Total: 13
Shy.
[x] I don't have a lot of friends.
[x] I don't talk too much.
[] It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.
[] When people say my name, others say 'who?'
[] I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am.
[] People have told me I need to talk more.
[x] I only talk when other people talk to me first
[] I look down when I walk.
[x] I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.
[] People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.
[] I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.
[x] I sit in the back of the classroom.
[] I never participate in class discussions.
[x] I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.
[] I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.
[] I talk quietly
[x] People have called me shy or quiet.
[] I usually let others decide for me.
[] If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.
[] I would like to be more outgoing.
Total: 7
Goth.
[x] I wear black.
[x] I don't like to be seen.
[x] I'm very, very pale. (honestly, white as a sheet of paper)
[] I only listen to metal or emo-ish music.
[x] I love creepy, weird movies.
[x] I love gothic cartoons and drawings.
[x] I don't like people.
[x] I only go out during the night. (when I can help it)
[] I have black fingernails.
[x] I wear a long black coat.
[x] I also wear big black boots.
[x] 'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.
[] I only date other Goths.
[x] I love black humor.
[x] I love pain.
[x] People think I'm crazy.
[] I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me.
[x] I love to scare people
[x] I laugh at teenyboppers.
[x] People are scared of me.
Total: 16
Weirdo.
[x] I talk to myself.
[x] I say really random things all the time.
[x] I fidget a lot.
[] I still use a wheeled backpack.
[] People laugh at me.
[] I walk really funny.
[x] I have a very different sense of style.
[] I talk in a robot voice often.
[x] I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.
[x] I debate stuff with myself.
[x] I hear voices. (I have a "mild case" of paranoid schizophrenia according to a therapist, but I don't know if I should believe them :1)
[] I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.
[x] I have a fascination with robots and machinery.
[] I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.
[] I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.
[] I dart my eyes from side to side.
[]I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non human thing.
[x] People have no idea why I think the way I do.
[x] I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.
[] When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.
Total: 10
non-social.
[x] I hate most people. (I just don't learn your name~!)
[x] I prefer to be alone. (unless you're Mike, then yes)
[x] When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.
[x] Actually, most people don't talk to me.
[ ] People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.
[ ] I live in my room, writing in my diary.
[x] I go out my way to avoid everyone.
[x] I never greet anyone.
[ ] I despise people who talk too loudly.
[ ] I want people to think I'm a freak.
[ ] I never talk.
[ ] I can't wait to get off this earth.
[ ] I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.
[ ] I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp3 player/headphones to block out the world.
[x] I don't know why I am the way I am.
[x] People have said I'm non-social.
[ ] I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness.
[ ] Why bother when people don't like you anyways?
[x] I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.
[ ] I just don't get along with anyone.
Total: 9
Skater.
[x] I skateboard to everywhere.
[ ] If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.
[ ] I shop at Pacsun.
[ ] I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.
[ ] Oh yeah, and Bam Margera.
[ ] I always play skateboarding video games.
[x] I have shaggy hair.
[x] I wear baggy pants.
[x] I wear only skater shoes.
[x] I always wear hoodies.
[ ] I hang at skate parks 24/7.
[ ] I'm always learning new board tricks.
[ ] Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.
[x] I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.
[ ] I hang with other skaters.
[x] I've been hurt while skateboarding.
[ ] I've been in a skateboarding competition.
[x] I wear vans.
[ ] Tony Hawks games own.
[ ] I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.
Total: 8
Christian Girl/Boy
[ ] I go to church at least once a week.
[ ] Most of my wardrobe consists of long skirts and button down shirts for church.
[ ] I always carry a bible with me.
[ ] My whole family is very religious.
[ ] I've never been on a date.
[x] I've never smoked or had a beer.
[ ] My beliefs are very strong.
[/] I'm waiting until marriage to have sex. (eh, we're just waiting to wait really)
[ ] I wear a cross necklace.
[ ] I have a bracelet that says WWJD.
[ ] I'm always preaching to people about the importance of religion.
[] I believe in God.
[ ] I'm not allowed to watch rated R movies, and sometimes, not even PG-13 movies.
[x] I never go out and party.
[ ] I read the bible everyday.
[ ] I've memorized excerpts from the bible.
[] I go to Sunday school.
[ ] I've been to church camp.
[ ] I pray every night.
[ ] I sing Christian songs.
[ ] I'm an atheist.
Total: 2.5
Gangsta.
[] I say 'yo'.
[ ] I also say 'fo shizzle'.
[ ] I wear extremely baggy pants.
[ ] Mah chainz hang low.
[ ] I hang with my homies, biotches, and H**'s
[ ] I'm a thug.
[ ] I only listen to rap music.
[ ] 50 Cent is my idol.
[ ] I don't give a frick about school.
[ ] I steal/have stolen before.
[x] I freestyle.
[x] I breakdance.
[ ] Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.
[ ] I'm white but I act black.
[ ] All my heroes are dead rappers.
[ ] Tupac is still alive.
[ ] I party with all my ****.
[ ] I wear a sideways baseball cap.
[x] I wear hoodies.
[ ] I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.
Total: 3
Bully.
[ ] I always steal people's lunch money.
[ ] Geeks are afraid of me.
[ ] I get in trouble all the time.
[ ] I steal people's stuff to be an asshole.
[ ] People have called me a bully.
[x] I have beat someone up before.
[ ] I'm always looking for a fight.
[ ] I pick on people smaller than me.
[x] I push people out of the way when I'm walking.
[ ] I've never been in a relationship before.
[x] People are afraid of me.
[x] People know not to mess with me.
[x] I'm bigger than most people my age.
[ ] I pick on people for the fun of it.
[ ] I make fun of everything anyone else likes.
[ ] If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.
[ ] People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.
[ ] I'm one of the strongest kids in school.
[ ] Even some authority figures are afraid of me.
[x] People get out of my way when I'm walking.
Total: 6
Gamer.
[x] I own at least 2 different video game consoles. (try all of them)
[x] I love Final Fantasy.
[x] DDR & Guitar Hero
[x] I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.
[x] I'm always trying to beat high scores on games.
[x] I even play a lot of computer games.
[x] I play at least 3 hours of video games a day.
[ ] My thumbs are sore often.
[ ] I spend all my money on new video games.
[ ] My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.
[] All I talk about is video games.
[x] I've been in a video game competition before
[ ] I pay over 30$ a month in online games.
[x] I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console
[x] I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game I play most
[x] I have played at least a complete week in the game I like most.
[x] I wouldn't know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.
[ ] My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so I don't spend whole weekends and holidays playing.
[x] I have more than one online account on the same game.
Total: 13
Girly.
[x] I have long hair
[ ] I wear make up everyday.
[] I carry a purse.
[ ] I have to get someone else to come kill a spider or any bug.
[] I paint my nails
[] I use perfume
[] I keep my nails clean/shaped
[x] I shower regularly
[x] I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom (gymnastics)
[ ] I like to accessorize
[] I like flowers.
[ ] I don't like to be outdoors
[ ] I'm more like my mother than my father
[] I like hanging out with girls than boys.
[] I like going to the mall/shopping. (And buy books. and candles. and bug lollipops.)
[ ] I watch my weight/ count calories.
[] I plan outfits ahead of time
[] People say I have a soft/sweet voice
[x] I dream about and am already planning my wedding day
[ ] I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc[Bad Girls Club yo!!]
Total: 4
Boyish
[x] I have short hair.
[x] I hate doing laundry
[x] I like war type video games.
[x] I like playing or watching sports
[x] People say I have a deep voice
[ ] I'm more like my dad than my mom.
[x] I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends.
[x] I act tough, it doesn't matter what's going on inside me.
[] There's only two emotions
[] I shower only when I start to notice I stink
[ ] I think about the opposite sex a lot.
[x] My room isn't neat.
[ ] I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers.
[x] My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care
[x] I like to play rough with dogs
[x] I like the movies 300, The Dark Knight
[ ] The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk.
[ ] I don't read
[x] I don't ask for help even if I need it.
Total: 12
[] I cry a lot.
[] I go to local shows.
[x] I wear black everyday.
[x] I write sad poetry.
[x] I play an acoustic guitar.
[] My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.
[x] I think about suicide or death often.
[x] People have told me to cheer up.
[x] I cry when I see dead animals. (depends on the animal, obviously)
[] My myspace pics are black or white or angled.
[x] I wear many band shirts.
[] No one understands me.
[x] I don't talk too often.
[] I look down when I walk.
[] I wear black eyeliner.
[] I have an ex I still cry over.
[] My hair is black
[] My hair covers one of my eyes.
[] I always say 'life sucks'.
Total: 8
Nerd.
[x] I have straight A's.
[] I wear glasses. (CONTACTS)
[] I always do my homework and study.
[] Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.
[x] Computer games.
[] I'm 'teachers pet'.
[] I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
[] I have a bedtime.
[] I use an asthma inhaler.
[x] I carry a calculator with me.
[] I bring my lunch to school.
[/] I always follow the rules.
[] I'm shy around the opposite sex.
[x] I'm always on the computer.
[x] I've never had beer or cigarettes.
[]I always answer every question in class right.
[x] I correct people's grammar.
[x] I read a lot.
[x] School is very important to me.
[] I always stump people.
Total: 8.5
Rebel.
[x] I always speak my mind.
[x] I have 0% of school spirit.
[x] Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
[x] I stand up for what I think is right.
[] On spirit days at school, I wear the rival's colors.
[] Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.
[] I won't listen to authority figures.
[] I always break the rules.
[] I refuse to compromise.
[] I'm always arguing with people.
[x] I love debate.
[x] I always do what's unexpected of me.
[x] I don't give a shit what people think of me.
[x] If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.
[x] I'm not afraid to contradict others.
[] I only respect my own beliefs.
[x] If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.
[] I laugh at compromising people.
[] I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.
[] Rules were meant to be broken.
Total: 10
Jock.
[x] I'm on one or more sport teams. (have been)
[] I always wear my varsity jacket.
[x] I've won awards for my athletic ability.
[] I will only date popular girls/guys.
[] School Spirit 100%.
[] I'm going to a college for sports.
[] I watch sports on tv all the time
[x] I'm muscular. (eh, strong, but not buff)
[] I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.
[] Go Team!
[] I'm a chick/dude magnet.
[] I eat a lot.
[] I'm egotistical.
[] I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.
[] I sit at the jock lunch table.
[] All I talk about with my friends is sports.
[] I go to lots of sports games.
[x] I'm very athletic
[] I wear sport inspired clothing.
[x] play at least 3 different sports. (I can)
Total: 5
Comedian.
[x] I'm funny.
[x] I'm always making jokes.
[] I interrupt class by making people laugh.
[x] I like to entertain people.
[] I worship Kevin Smith.
[] I watch comedies more than anything.
[] I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot
[x] I'm sarcastic.
[x] I've been told I'm hilarious.
[x] I always imitate people.
[x] I pull lots of pranks.
[x] I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.
[] I have to prove myself by being funny.
[x] People expect me to make jokes, always.
[x] I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.
[x] If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.
[x] Jim Carrey is my idol
[x] I mostly get along with everybody.
[] At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.
[] My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.
Total: 13
Shy.
[x] I don't have a lot of friends.
[x] I don't talk too much.
[] It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.
[] When people say my name, others say 'who?'
[] I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am.
[] People have told me I need to talk more.
[x] I only talk when other people talk to me first
[] I look down when I walk.
[x] I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.
[] People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.
[] I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.
[x] I sit in the back of the classroom.
[] I never participate in class discussions.
[x] I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.
[] I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.
[] I talk quietly
[x] People have called me shy or quiet.
[] I usually let others decide for me.
[] If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.
[] I would like to be more outgoing.
Total: 7
Goth.
[x] I wear black.
[x] I don't like to be seen.
[x] I'm very, very pale. (honestly, white as a sheet of paper)
[] I only listen to metal or emo-ish music.
[x] I love creepy, weird movies.
[x] I love gothic cartoons and drawings.
[x] I don't like people.
[x] I only go out during the night. (when I can help it)
[] I have black fingernails.
[x] I wear a long black coat.
[x] I also wear big black boots.
[x] 'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.
[] I only date other Goths.
[x] I love black humor.
[x] I love pain.
[x] People think I'm crazy.
[] I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me.
[x] I love to scare people
[x] I laugh at teenyboppers.
[x] People are scared of me.
Total: 16
Weirdo.
[x] I talk to myself.
[x] I say really random things all the time.
[x] I fidget a lot.
[] I still use a wheeled backpack.
[] People laugh at me.
[] I walk really funny.
[x] I have a very different sense of style.
[] I talk in a robot voice often.
[x] I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.
[x] I debate stuff with myself.
[x] I hear voices. (I have a "mild case" of paranoid schizophrenia according to a therapist, but I don't know if I should believe them :1)
[] I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.
[x] I have a fascination with robots and machinery.
[] I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.
[] I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.
[] I dart my eyes from side to side.
[]I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non human thing.
[x] People have no idea why I think the way I do.
[x] I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.
[] When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.
Total: 10
non-social.
[x] I hate most people. (I just don't learn your name~!)
[x] I prefer to be alone. (unless you're Mike, then yes)
[x] When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.
[x] Actually, most people don't talk to me.
[ ] People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.
[ ] I live in my room, writing in my diary.
[x] I go out my way to avoid everyone.
[x] I never greet anyone.
[ ] I despise people who talk too loudly.
[ ] I want people to think I'm a freak.
[ ] I never talk.
[ ] I can't wait to get off this earth.
[ ] I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.
[ ] I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp3 player/headphones to block out the world.
[x] I don't know why I am the way I am.
[x] People have said I'm non-social.
[ ] I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness.
[ ] Why bother when people don't like you anyways?
[x] I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.
[ ] I just don't get along with anyone.
Total: 9
Skater.
[x] I skateboard to everywhere.
[ ] If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.
[ ] I shop at Pacsun.
[ ] I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.
[ ] Oh yeah, and Bam Margera.
[ ] I always play skateboarding video games.
[x] I have shaggy hair.
[x] I wear baggy pants.
[x] I wear only skater shoes.
[x] I always wear hoodies.
[ ] I hang at skate parks 24/7.
[ ] I'm always learning new board tricks.
[ ] Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.
[x] I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.
[ ] I hang with other skaters.
[x] I've been hurt while skateboarding.
[ ] I've been in a skateboarding competition.
[x] I wear vans.
[ ] Tony Hawks games own.
[ ] I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.
Total: 8
Christian Girl/Boy
[ ] I go to church at least once a week.
[ ] Most of my wardrobe consists of long skirts and button down shirts for church.
[ ] I always carry a bible with me.
[ ] My whole family is very religious.
[ ] I've never been on a date.
[x] I've never smoked or had a beer.
[ ] My beliefs are very strong.
[/] I'm waiting until marriage to have sex. (eh, we're just waiting to wait really)
[ ] I wear a cross necklace.
[ ] I have a bracelet that says WWJD.
[ ] I'm always preaching to people about the importance of religion.
[] I believe in God.
[ ] I'm not allowed to watch rated R movies, and sometimes, not even PG-13 movies.
[x] I never go out and party.
[ ] I read the bible everyday.
[ ] I've memorized excerpts from the bible.
[] I go to Sunday school.
[ ] I've been to church camp.
[ ] I pray every night.
[ ] I sing Christian songs.
[ ] I'm an atheist.
Total: 2.5
Gangsta.
[] I say 'yo'.
[ ] I also say 'fo shizzle'.
[ ] I wear extremely baggy pants.
[ ] Mah chainz hang low.
[ ] I hang with my homies, biotches, and H**'s
[ ] I'm a thug.
[ ] I only listen to rap music.
[ ] 50 Cent is my idol.
[ ] I don't give a frick about school.
[ ] I steal/have stolen before.
[x] I freestyle.
[x] I breakdance.
[ ] Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.
[ ] I'm white but I act black.
[ ] All my heroes are dead rappers.
[ ] Tupac is still alive.
[ ] I party with all my ****.
[ ] I wear a sideways baseball cap.
[x] I wear hoodies.
[ ] I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.
Total: 3
Bully.
[ ] I always steal people's lunch money.
[ ] Geeks are afraid of me.
[ ] I get in trouble all the time.
[ ] I steal people's stuff to be an asshole.
[ ] People have called me a bully.
[x] I have beat someone up before.
[ ] I'm always looking for a fight.
[ ] I pick on people smaller than me.
[x] I push people out of the way when I'm walking.
[ ] I've never been in a relationship before.
[x] People are afraid of me.
[x] People know not to mess with me.
[x] I'm bigger than most people my age.
[ ] I pick on people for the fun of it.
[ ] I make fun of everything anyone else likes.
[ ] If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.
[ ] People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.
[ ] I'm one of the strongest kids in school.
[ ] Even some authority figures are afraid of me.
[x] People get out of my way when I'm walking.
Total: 6
Gamer.
[x] I own at least 2 different video game consoles. (try all of them)
[x] I love Final Fantasy.
[x] DDR & Guitar Hero
[x] I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.
[x] I'm always trying to beat high scores on games.
[x] I even play a lot of computer games.
[x] I play at least 3 hours of video games a day.
[ ] My thumbs are sore often.
[ ] I spend all my money on new video games.
[ ] My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.
[] All I talk about is video games.
[x] I've been in a video game competition before
[ ] I pay over 30$ a month in online games.
[x] I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console
[x] I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game I play most
[x] I have played at least a complete week in the game I like most.
[x] I wouldn't know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.
[ ] My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so I don't spend whole weekends and holidays playing.
[x] I have more than one online account on the same game.
Total: 13
Girly.
[x] I have long hair
[ ] I wear make up everyday.
[] I carry a purse.
[ ] I have to get someone else to come kill a spider or any bug.
[] I paint my nails
[] I use perfume
[] I keep my nails clean/shaped
[x] I shower regularly
[x] I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom (gymnastics)
[ ] I like to accessorize
[] I like flowers.
[ ] I don't like to be outdoors
[ ] I'm more like my mother than my father
[] I like hanging out with girls than boys.
[] I like going to the mall/shopping. (And buy books. and candles. and bug lollipops.)
[ ] I watch my weight/ count calories.
[] I plan outfits ahead of time
[] People say I have a soft/sweet voice
[x] I dream about and am already planning my wedding day
[ ] I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc[Bad Girls Club yo!!]
Total: 4
Boyish
[x] I have short hair.
[x] I hate doing laundry
[x] I like war type video games.
[x] I like playing or watching sports
[x] People say I have a deep voice
[ ] I'm more like my dad than my mom.
[x] I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends.
[x] I act tough, it doesn't matter what's going on inside me.
[] There's only two emotions
[] I shower only when I start to notice I stink
[ ] I think about the opposite sex a lot.
[x] My room isn't neat.
[ ] I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers.
[x] My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care
[x] I like to play rough with dogs
[x] I like the movies 300, The Dark Knight
[ ] The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk.
[ ] I don't read
[x] I don't ask for help even if I need it.
Total: 12
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Shit
Sometimes, I'm not even sure what to think. People grow, and people change. No one is the same as they were when they were a child; no adult is the same as they were when they were a teenager. Sadly, though, many times, people take the wrong road and end up worse off than they were in their younger years. Some become addicted to drugs, alcohol, and even sex; none of which are a good path to..."achieve", per se.
It seems that the older I get, the younger the people who start. I've seen 5th and 6th graders pregnant in this town. Fifth and sixth graders. Eleven year old children. Pregnant. Often with boys or men several years older than them. And you know what? They go and get an abortion because - and I'm not kidding here - they believe it was the "only way to prevent having a child". Fuck no. Condoms and the pill are a hell of a lot cheaper than raising a child; as is the morning after pill. If you think you're running the risk of getting pregnant, use it. It's better than having to pay for a hospital bill or a child.
I am so sick and tired of people using abortion as birth control.
Yes, it can be used as a last-resort type of thing; but you should never use it as your main birth control.
You have cheaper alternatives: use them. Condoms cost 25 cents in many restrooms. Hell, gas stations sell them. You walk in, buy them, walk out. No one knows what you've done.
Even if I'm one of those people who believe that if you lack the maturity to buy condoms at a store, at a register, with a cashier there, then you aren't mature enough to be having sex.
Another thing I see running rampant? "Teenagers" (also known as 11-17-year-olds, in their minds) running around doing drugs. I know it's a 'normal' thing to experiment with drugs. I haven't done it, myself, but I understand that there are people who do so. The thing is, there's a difference between trying it one or two times, and doing it every time you're able to/getting addicted. A major difference.
If you do it? Alright, fine. However, spreading it all over your facebook - where people obviously are able to tell that it's you - is just going to get you into deep shit along the way somewhere. Especially if it's illegal for you to said drugs, be it age, or just lack of legality for drugs. I know so many people who do this, and it pisses me off to no end.
Same goes out to the girls who post naked/half-naked/provocative pictures of themselves on facebook. I do not want to see that shit. Cut it out, it's disgusting.
Eugh.
It seems that the older I get, the younger the people who start. I've seen 5th and 6th graders pregnant in this town. Fifth and sixth graders. Eleven year old children. Pregnant. Often with boys or men several years older than them. And you know what? They go and get an abortion because - and I'm not kidding here - they believe it was the "only way to prevent having a child". Fuck no. Condoms and the pill are a hell of a lot cheaper than raising a child; as is the morning after pill. If you think you're running the risk of getting pregnant, use it. It's better than having to pay for a hospital bill or a child.
I am so sick and tired of people using abortion as birth control.
Yes, it can be used as a last-resort type of thing; but you should never use it as your main birth control.
You have cheaper alternatives: use them. Condoms cost 25 cents in many restrooms. Hell, gas stations sell them. You walk in, buy them, walk out. No one knows what you've done.
Even if I'm one of those people who believe that if you lack the maturity to buy condoms at a store, at a register, with a cashier there, then you aren't mature enough to be having sex.
Another thing I see running rampant? "Teenagers" (also known as 11-17-year-olds, in their minds) running around doing drugs. I know it's a 'normal' thing to experiment with drugs. I haven't done it, myself, but I understand that there are people who do so. The thing is, there's a difference between trying it one or two times, and doing it every time you're able to/getting addicted. A major difference.
If you do it? Alright, fine. However, spreading it all over your facebook - where people obviously are able to tell that it's you - is just going to get you into deep shit along the way somewhere. Especially if it's illegal for you to said drugs, be it age, or just lack of legality for drugs. I know so many people who do this, and it pisses me off to no end.
Same goes out to the girls who post naked/half-naked/provocative pictures of themselves on facebook. I do not want to see that shit. Cut it out, it's disgusting.
Eugh.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
So, Mike left this morning.
I knew he would have to leave for home sooner or later, but...I was wishing it would be later. I haven't cried for so long in my life. I was only able to stop maybe an hour ago. It feels like I'm going to start again.
I feel horrible. Knowing that there's no one to give me a hug whenever I need one is a horrible feeling. Knowing it'll be a few months until I'm able to kiss him again is something that has hurt me each and every time he's had to leave, or I've had to leave; and because of him staying longer, it hurts more. Knowing that even though I can hear and see him but can't touch him hurts me too.
The pain is worth it. I'd rather be away from him for months at a time and then have weeks/months to spend with the most amazing man in the world rather than be with someone every day who's a total ass.
I love him more than anything and I hope he realizes that.
I've promised him he's my everything, he's my world, and my life; and I hope he knows I mean every bit of what I say to him.
I can't wait until I can be there with him all the time.
I feel horrible. Knowing that there's no one to give me a hug whenever I need one is a horrible feeling. Knowing it'll be a few months until I'm able to kiss him again is something that has hurt me each and every time he's had to leave, or I've had to leave; and because of him staying longer, it hurts more. Knowing that even though I can hear and see him but can't touch him hurts me too.
The pain is worth it. I'd rather be away from him for months at a time and then have weeks/months to spend with the most amazing man in the world rather than be with someone every day who's a total ass.
I love him more than anything and I hope he realizes that.
I've promised him he's my everything, he's my world, and my life; and I hope he knows I mean every bit of what I say to him.
I can't wait until I can be there with him all the time.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Welp
Not even going to bother undoing everything I put it in since I was originally going to post it on dA, so you can all deal with it.
1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?
Sure, why not
2) Where are you taking this test at?
Mike's bedroom.
3) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
Eh, no comment
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Mike
5) Do you regret it?
Nope
6) Have you ever been depressed?
I have chronic depression, so yes? :lol:
7) Are you a boy or girl?
Last time I checked, I lack a penis
8) Do you have a job?
Not at the moment. Mostly doing odd jobs for money.
9) What is your relationship status?
Taken
10) How do you want to die?
As long as it's not a slow death, then...whatever. Hopefully peacefully in my sleep, or doing something awesome.
11) What did you last eat?
Graham crackers
12) Played any sports?
I used to play basketball, tennis, golf, lacrosse, and run cross country and track. But I was under the age of 10 then. :lol: I got so lazy once I moved.
13) Do you bite your nails?
Only if I have a hangnail
14) When was your last physical fight?
8th grade :lol:
15) Do you have an attitude?
Some people may think I do, some people think I don't. Honestly, it depends on the time of day, if I've eaten or slept in the past few days, and if it's shark week or not.
16) Do you like someone?
Love :devbadot:. :B
17) What is your real name?
Sarah
18) What is the background of your computer screen?
A kitten.
19) Are you gonna get high later?
Nope
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
It's pointless to hate people. :lol:
21) Do you miss someone?
I miss my cats.
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Neither.
23) Do you tan a lot?
Ugh, no
24) Have any pets?
Two cats
25) How exactly are you feeling?
feelings are stupid, so I have none
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Yes, I do it a lot, actually.
27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
:lol: Oh my god, no. But Mike and I have kissed when we were standing in the bathroom.
28) Would you take any of your exes back?
No.
29) Are you afraid of spiders?
Depends on how big it is, and if it's somewhere I need to be, or on/in something I need. :lol:
31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Yep
32) What are your plans for this weekend?
Internet
Food
Internet
Internet
33) Do you want to have kids?
Yeah, but I'd rather have boys. :lol: Teenage girls are a pain in the ass; at least most of them. I've already some experience in raising boys, as I've had to raise three, but...girls. Ugh. I don't like little girls I just can't explain it. Always more screechy and I'd just rather not put up with that, but I know I may have to, and I accept it.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?
Yes, in fact! I did today! :lol:
35) Do you type fast?
About 160+ WPM on a good day and a good keyboard.
36) Do you have piercings?
No.
37) Want any more?
Not planning on getting any piercings.
38) Can you spell well?
Mhm
39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Eh, somewhat - mostly users on this site whom I have either grown away from, or who left. I miss a few people in the real world as well, but it's from moving...and those people changed so much, it's just not worth it to try and be their friend again. They're like strangers to me now.
40) What are you craving right now?
Fox's Pizza, chocolate, and baked ruffles with cream cheese and chives. Sucks because I don't want to go to walmart for those last three things - and I also want McDonalds. Bawwww I haven't eaten all day.
41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yeah, I host them all the time :lol:
42) Have you ever been to jail?
No
43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Nope
44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
No
45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
:shrug: Ask my exes.
46) Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Ask my exes, or my current boyfriend. I know I've made Mike cry a few times but it's mostly because I was feeling bad, so he started to feel bad. <i>So I felt worse.</i> But it always works out alright.
48) What time is it currently?
8:08 PM
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
...I'm living with Mike right now. :lol:
50) What should you be doing?
- A sketch trade with :devlifeerror: which I'm almost done with
- Drawing for :devsillylittleblackbird:
51) What’s irritating you right now?
My head hurts.
52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Uh...it doesn't need to hurt anymore? :lol:
53) Does somebody love you?
Yes
54) What is your favorite color?
Greens, blues, purples, silvers/greys/black
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yeah
57) Do you have trust issues?
Sometimes.
58) You are over half way done with this. Are you sure you want to continue?
Sure
59) Do you have any siblings?
3 :B
1 brother, 1 stepbrother, 1 halfbrother
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Typically, yes. At least with my mom. I never see my dad anymore. Won't until Christmas, probably.
61) Do you live with anyone?
Well, as of currently, Mike. I'll be going home with my mom in a few weeks, though.
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I highly doubt it. :lol:
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
:devbadot:
64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
No, I'm an asshole.
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forget
66) Is this year the best year of your life?
:shrug: Who knows? I haven't lived my entire life yet.
67) What was your child hood nickname?
Didn't have a lot of nicknames, actually
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No
69) What is your motto in life?
Nope
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Not everything, but some things, yes.
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Kissed Mike. :lol:
72) Do you have a best friend?
More than one. :B
73) What is bothering you?
My head hurts and I've got a bit of nausea.
74) Have you ever been out of your country?
:B
75) Do you play the Wii?
Rarely
76) Are you listening to music right now?
No
77) Do you like Chinese food?
No. I can't eat it, either. :lol:
78) Do you know your Sep-Dad b- day?
what is this even saying? Is this asking if I have a stepdad?
If so, no. Because I don't have a stepdad.
79) Are you afraid of the dark?
No
80) Is cheating ever okay?
Relationship cheating? No.
Test cheating? Eh, there are a few circumstances that it would be iffy, but I'd still lean towards no.
81) Are you mean?
I try not to be, but people are stupid. :lol: So they think I'm mean when I'm really just trying to be helpful? I dunno, man.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
I wouldn't know, considering I don't own white shoes.
83) What was the last song you listened to?
Pendulum - Witchcraft
84) Do you believe in true love?
Of course.
85) What are you currently wearing?
Clothing
86) What do you wear to bed?
Usually just underwear. If I'm cold, I'll wear a big shirt.
87) What is the weather like right now?
HOT
88) Do you like the outside?
Yes
89) Are you currently bored?
Very
90) Do you wanna get married?
Yes
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I wouldn't call it cute; more of a sweet-type thing, depending on how they say it.
92) Are you hungry?
Yes. And now there are brownies in the oven. So in 25 minutes, I'll not be hungry anymore!
93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
To be honest? :lol: Probably.
94) What makes you happy?
Music, doodling, talking to/being with :devbadot: and my other friends, and tons of other stuff.
95) Would you change your name?
Last name? I'm going to.
96) Ever been to Alaska?
:B
98) Do you watch the news?
Sometimes
99) What’ s your zodiac sign?
Capricorn
100) Do you like Subway?
Nope. Not a big fan of subs.
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope. He's right behind me.
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Well, considering my best friend of the opposite sex is also my boyfriend, then...that's a good thing. :lol:
However, if it's my other best-male-friend then...Ben, you get none of this.
103) Do you like talking to your friends?
Obviously. :lol:
104) What do you plan to do with the rest of your day?
Internet. Play Pokemon. Listen to Muse.
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Yes
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Yeah, I act myself around all my friends. If they can't handle me, they're not a friend at all.
107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
:devbadot:
108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yeah, it matters. :lol: I'm not going to stay with someone who constantly smells of rank. <i>I</i> don't want the smell to wear off on me. I don't want to suffer through second-hand smoke more than I already have. So...yes, it matters.
109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Mike
110) Favorite lyrics right now?
Those of which are in Pendulum - Witchcraft
111) Can you count to one million?
Technically I can, although it would take a long amount of time.
1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?
Sure, why not
2) Where are you taking this test at?
Mike's bedroom.
3) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
Eh, no comment
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Mike
5) Do you regret it?
Nope
6) Have you ever been depressed?
I have chronic depression, so yes? :lol:
7) Are you a boy or girl?
Last time I checked, I lack a penis
8) Do you have a job?
Not at the moment. Mostly doing odd jobs for money.
9) What is your relationship status?
Taken
10) How do you want to die?
As long as it's not a slow death, then...whatever. Hopefully peacefully in my sleep, or doing something awesome.
11) What did you last eat?
Graham crackers
12) Played any sports?
I used to play basketball, tennis, golf, lacrosse, and run cross country and track. But I was under the age of 10 then. :lol: I got so lazy once I moved.
13) Do you bite your nails?
Only if I have a hangnail
14) When was your last physical fight?
8th grade :lol:
15) Do you have an attitude?
Some people may think I do, some people think I don't. Honestly, it depends on the time of day, if I've eaten or slept in the past few days, and if it's shark week or not.
16) Do you like someone?
Love :devbadot:. :B
17) What is your real name?
Sarah
18) What is the background of your computer screen?
A kitten.
19) Are you gonna get high later?
Nope
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
It's pointless to hate people. :lol:
21) Do you miss someone?
I miss my cats.
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Neither.
23) Do you tan a lot?
Ugh, no
24) Have any pets?
Two cats
25) How exactly are you feeling?
feelings are stupid, so I have none
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Yes, I do it a lot, actually.
27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
:lol: Oh my god, no. But Mike and I have kissed when we were standing in the bathroom.
28) Would you take any of your exes back?
No.
29) Are you afraid of spiders?
Depends on how big it is, and if it's somewhere I need to be, or on/in something I need. :lol:
31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Yep
32) What are your plans for this weekend?
Internet
Food
Internet
Internet
33) Do you want to have kids?
Yeah, but I'd rather have boys. :lol: Teenage girls are a pain in the ass; at least most of them. I've already some experience in raising boys, as I've had to raise three, but...girls. Ugh. I don't like little girls I just can't explain it. Always more screechy and I'd just rather not put up with that, but I know I may have to, and I accept it.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?
Yes, in fact! I did today! :lol:
35) Do you type fast?
About 160+ WPM on a good day and a good keyboard.
36) Do you have piercings?
No.
37) Want any more?
Not planning on getting any piercings.
38) Can you spell well?
Mhm
39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Eh, somewhat - mostly users on this site whom I have either grown away from, or who left. I miss a few people in the real world as well, but it's from moving...and those people changed so much, it's just not worth it to try and be their friend again. They're like strangers to me now.
40) What are you craving right now?
Fox's Pizza, chocolate, and baked ruffles with cream cheese and chives. Sucks because I don't want to go to walmart for those last three things - and I also want McDonalds. Bawwww I haven't eaten all day.
41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yeah, I host them all the time :lol:
42) Have you ever been to jail?
No
43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Nope
44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
No
45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
:shrug: Ask my exes.
46) Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Ask my exes, or my current boyfriend. I know I've made Mike cry a few times but it's mostly because I was feeling bad, so he started to feel bad. <i>So I felt worse.</i> But it always works out alright.
48) What time is it currently?
8:08 PM
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
...I'm living with Mike right now. :lol:
50) What should you be doing?
- A sketch trade with :devlifeerror: which I'm almost done with
- Drawing for :devsillylittleblackbird:
51) What’s irritating you right now?
My head hurts.
52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Uh...it doesn't need to hurt anymore? :lol:
53) Does somebody love you?
Yes
54) What is your favorite color?
Greens, blues, purples, silvers/greys/black
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yeah
57) Do you have trust issues?
Sometimes.
58) You are over half way done with this. Are you sure you want to continue?
Sure
59) Do you have any siblings?
3 :B
1 brother, 1 stepbrother, 1 halfbrother
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Typically, yes. At least with my mom. I never see my dad anymore. Won't until Christmas, probably.
61) Do you live with anyone?
Well, as of currently, Mike. I'll be going home with my mom in a few weeks, though.
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I highly doubt it. :lol:
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
:devbadot:
64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
No, I'm an asshole.
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forget
66) Is this year the best year of your life?
:shrug: Who knows? I haven't lived my entire life yet.
67) What was your child hood nickname?
Didn't have a lot of nicknames, actually
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No
69) What is your motto in life?
Nope
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Not everything, but some things, yes.
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Kissed Mike. :lol:
72) Do you have a best friend?
More than one. :B
73) What is bothering you?
My head hurts and I've got a bit of nausea.
74) Have you ever been out of your country?
:B
75) Do you play the Wii?
Rarely
76) Are you listening to music right now?
No
77) Do you like Chinese food?
No. I can't eat it, either. :lol:
78) Do you know your Sep-Dad b- day?
what is this even saying? Is this asking if I have a stepdad?
If so, no. Because I don't have a stepdad.
79) Are you afraid of the dark?
No
80) Is cheating ever okay?
Relationship cheating? No.
Test cheating? Eh, there are a few circumstances that it would be iffy, but I'd still lean towards no.
81) Are you mean?
I try not to be, but people are stupid. :lol: So they think I'm mean when I'm really just trying to be helpful? I dunno, man.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
I wouldn't know, considering I don't own white shoes.
83) What was the last song you listened to?
Pendulum - Witchcraft
84) Do you believe in true love?
Of course.
85) What are you currently wearing?
Clothing
86) What do you wear to bed?
Usually just underwear. If I'm cold, I'll wear a big shirt.
87) What is the weather like right now?
HOT
88) Do you like the outside?
Yes
89) Are you currently bored?
Very
90) Do you wanna get married?
Yes
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I wouldn't call it cute; more of a sweet-type thing, depending on how they say it.
92) Are you hungry?
Yes. And now there are brownies in the oven. So in 25 minutes, I'll not be hungry anymore!
93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
To be honest? :lol: Probably.
94) What makes you happy?
Music, doodling, talking to/being with :devbadot: and my other friends, and tons of other stuff.
95) Would you change your name?
Last name? I'm going to.
96) Ever been to Alaska?
:B
98) Do you watch the news?
Sometimes
99) What’ s your zodiac sign?
Capricorn
100) Do you like Subway?
Nope. Not a big fan of subs.
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope. He's right behind me.
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Well, considering my best friend of the opposite sex is also my boyfriend, then...that's a good thing. :lol:
However, if it's my other best-male-friend then...Ben, you get none of this.
103) Do you like talking to your friends?
Obviously. :lol:
104) What do you plan to do with the rest of your day?
Internet. Play Pokemon. Listen to Muse.
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Yes
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Yeah, I act myself around all my friends. If they can't handle me, they're not a friend at all.
107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
:devbadot:
108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yeah, it matters. :lol: I'm not going to stay with someone who constantly smells of rank. <i>I</i> don't want the smell to wear off on me. I don't want to suffer through second-hand smoke more than I already have. So...yes, it matters.
109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Mike
110) Favorite lyrics right now?
Those of which are in Pendulum - Witchcraft
111) Can you count to one million?
Technically I can, although it would take a long amount of time.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Fuck
I want to draw, but I don't have a non-shitty mouse, or a tablet. Paper isn't the same when I want to finish something quickly and not worry about my eraser being...shit.
Oh well.
>:C
Oh well.
>:C
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Contact Information
If you want to contact me then go ahead and check out the following:
Email: steamgeared@yahoo.com
Through my email I can give you my MSN and Skype contact names.
If you don't want to email me:
Railguns.sheezyart.com
I'll be uploading art there to store it, though I'm not sure if I'll be hanging out there very much. You can drop me a comment there if you'd like, or through a private message. I can also give you my MSN or Skype information through there, as well.
Skype and MSN
If you want to talk to me through Skype or MSN, I'll be on Skype as Away a large percentage of the time, considering Mike is here and, since I'm basically being kicked out of my own house in less than a week for a while, and will be at Mike's house for a while until my mom comes to her senses, emailing me would probably be a better idea and yadda yadda.
OR comment here and I can give you my MSN or something then just delete the comment or email it to you or whatever /blargh
Email: steamgeared@yahoo.com
Through my email I can give you my MSN and Skype contact names.
If you don't want to email me:
Railguns.sheezyart.com
I'll be uploading art there to store it, though I'm not sure if I'll be hanging out there very much. You can drop me a comment there if you'd like, or through a private message. I can also give you my MSN or Skype information through there, as well.
Skype and MSN
If you want to talk to me through Skype or MSN, I'll be on Skype as Away a large percentage of the time, considering Mike is here and, since I'm basically being kicked out of my own house in less than a week for a while, and will be at Mike's house for a while until my mom comes to her senses, emailing me would probably be a better idea and yadda yadda.
OR comment here and I can give you my MSN or something then just delete the comment or email it to you or whatever /blargh
Banned?
I've apparently been banned for 'harassment' and 'trolling' on dA; over something someone asked me to do. I have r^2 handling my ticket as well, so good luck to me getting a suspension over that SO HORRIBLE BAN, guys.
And it was for woofs. WOOFS? I find it more hilarious than anything that that is the reason I was banned. I figured it would be more likely I'd be banned for being a blatant asshole to the staff (which I've done on multiple occasions) or telling someone to stop their crying and threatening and to kill themselves if they really were suicidal and didn't want help. Not for drawing parody works of things people asked me to do.
The only reason I'm upset is because I can't access my gallery. >:C Bitch I want my art! Traditional, whatever, I have that in hard copy, digital, okay, I have that on my old computer and flash drives but I don't know where my lit is. Which bothers me because even though I can crank that stuff out, I won't be able to remember it very well, especially if I'm cranking out a lot of it.
Oh well. I still have my old Sheezyart account which I guess I'll use for backing up art, otherwise I'll just hang about in deviantART's forums lurking like usual (that's all I ever did anymore, anyway; let's face it, the community outside of Complaints has gone flat and uninteresting - Complaints may have died a good bit but at least there are the assholes there being amusing and creating a ruckus).
Otherwise, if you want to contact me, email me at steamgeared@yahoo.com and I'll hand out Skype and MSN information.
Congrats to the butthurt faggot who got me banned, though. Seems your buttmad was strong enough t- oh, wait. The admins and moderators were already shit on deviantART! Seems you were just able to get them to be a bit more personal about it. Sometimes it takes getting kicked out of a shitty place to realize just how shitty it is.
Sorry if I seem 'angry' about it, but really - thank you, whoever got me banned. You sped up the process of getting out of there for me and proved, without a doubt, that the internet is full of pansy-pantied little children who can't take a joke.
Hell, if you're offended by something on the internet, get the fuck off the internet.
And it was for woofs. WOOFS? I find it more hilarious than anything that that is the reason I was banned. I figured it would be more likely I'd be banned for being a blatant asshole to the staff (which I've done on multiple occasions) or telling someone to stop their crying and threatening and to kill themselves if they really were suicidal and didn't want help. Not for drawing parody works of things people asked me to do.
The only reason I'm upset is because I can't access my gallery. >:C Bitch I want my art! Traditional, whatever, I have that in hard copy, digital, okay, I have that on my old computer and flash drives but I don't know where my lit is. Which bothers me because even though I can crank that stuff out, I won't be able to remember it very well, especially if I'm cranking out a lot of it.
Oh well. I still have my old Sheezyart account which I guess I'll use for backing up art, otherwise I'll just hang about in deviantART's forums lurking like usual (that's all I ever did anymore, anyway; let's face it, the community outside of Complaints has gone flat and uninteresting - Complaints may have died a good bit but at least there are the assholes there being amusing and creating a ruckus).
Otherwise, if you want to contact me, email me at steamgeared@yahoo.com and I'll hand out Skype and MSN information.
Congrats to the butthurt faggot who got me banned, though. Seems your buttmad was strong enough t- oh, wait. The admins and moderators were already shit on deviantART! Seems you were just able to get them to be a bit more personal about it. Sometimes it takes getting kicked out of a shitty place to realize just how shitty it is.
Sorry if I seem 'angry' about it, but really - thank you, whoever got me banned. You sped up the process of getting out of there for me and proved, without a doubt, that the internet is full of pansy-pantied little children who can't take a joke.
Hell, if you're offended by something on the internet, get the fuck off the internet.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Oh shit, another one
Spell your name without vowels:
Srh
Are you single?:
No.
What’s your favorite number?:
Uh, I like 17, 19, 5, 14 and 13. I can't choose because that's numberist.
What color do you wear most?:
Black. I swear, the only things I own that have a color other than black are maybe three shirts, some socks, boxers, some underwear and my bras. That's it.
Least favorite color?:
I've always disliked pink. Not because of 'omg if u liek pink ur retarded, if u dunt ur a hardass' but because my mother always deemed it appropriate to don me in pink outfits as a child. All the time. I'm still angry about that because I wanted to wear jeans so she fucking bought me pink ones. Bitch that's not what I meant. I WANTED REGULAR JEANS NOT SHITTY GIRLY RIPOFFS
Favorite candy?
Christ, as long as it's chock full of sugar I really don't give a fuck
What do you smoke?:
I don't need to smoke anything, I'm high on life
Are you happy with your life right now?:
Pretty happy. I'll be happier once these two and a half weeks are over, though.
Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?:
I've never been told I look like a celebrity, but I've been told I reminded someone of a celebrity. To be honest, though, I'm glad I don't look like a celeb, because then I'd feel like a shitty ripoff of something that was shit to begin with and they wanted to just see how bad it could get.
What is your favorite class in school?:
Uh, I love Chemistry, but the people in it are fucking retarded. Love World Cultures, too, but again, people in my class are as dumb as bricks. Also love math, but...again. Fucking retarded people. I'd pick Art, but there's a kid with some illness in my class who's a fucking dick to everyone and I just want to jam a palette down his throat. Maybe then he'd shut the hell up.
Do you shop at Hollister/DC/Bluenotes?:
No, because I'm not a faggot prepchav who thinks 'high label clothing' makes me the shit
How do you make money?:
Uh, random shit, lately. Going to apply for some jobs for the summer though so we'll see.
Who is your best friend?:
Jade, Mike, Ben, Chantelle, others
Don't really have just 'one' best friend; I definitely talk to Mike and Jade more than anyone else because Ben and I are just usually like 'oh, by the way, boobs' and then I scar him for life somehow and it just goes on and on.
Where do you go to school?
A highschool.
Are you outgoing?:
Depends on the circumstances.
One word to describe you?:
Mike's.
Favorite pair of shoes?:
I have a pair of Vans I typically wear. I don't really have 'favorite' shoes because I only own two pair and then a pair of boots.
Do you own big sunglasses?:
You mean like those retarded huge sunglasses that anyone who was anyone owned as a child? I used to, but now I just have aviators because I'm...I don't know. But they're mirrored and people can't see where I'm looking.
Where do you wish you were right now?:
With Mike, preferably in his arms.
What should you be doing right now?:
Anything but being a lazy skinbag
Do you have a crush on anyone right now?:
I bet you can't guess it
try me, motherfucker
Honestly, what's on your mind right now?:
Mike, how the school year is coming to an end, HOLY SHIT I FEEL OLD, I AM OLD, and numerous other things that probably wouldn't make sense out of context.
Honestly, what are you doing right now?:
In a call with Mike, and talking to Emily, listening to Jade flip her shit because GLADOS is calling her fat...or something
Honestly, have you done something bad today?:
Bad as in 'morally unacceptable' or bad as in 'generally unpleasant'? If there's something morally wrong with being on the computer, yes. Otherwise, no. Generally bad, though? Yeah, I smacked my shin off of the inside of a hot oven. That was nice. Broiled shin - mm, mm good
Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel?:
When they show old movie reruns, then fuck yes
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?:
Mike, at about 4 this morning. I apparently fell asleep on him, but I don't remember it.
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?:
Nope
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?:
Uh, I don't get mad too easily, but it's usually people who bitch about people who've done nothing to them, or, more often, people who complain about their significant other and say nothing good about them, ever. Same people often go 'oh, I'd break up with him/her but I want to see if I have a chance with someone else first' or even those who brag about cheating or being cruel or some shit. Jesus Christ, grow some fucking balls/ovaries, you simpleminded pathetic fucks. None of you deserve a happy life with a significant other if all you do is bitch about them or use them. Go die in a fire.
Honestly, do you bite your nails?:
Only if I have a hangnail.
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?:
Yes, Mike.
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?:
Yeah, it is kinda big. Only a few people really know about it, and none of those people are anyone outside of Mike, Jade, and some other friends.
Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?:
If I didn't like them, they wouldn't be my friend. However I do have one person that knows me who thinks I'm her friend and will be all BAWWW WE NEVER HANG OUT and I'm sitting there thinking THANK FUCK BECAUSE IF I HAD TO BE AROUND YOU MORE THAN I'M REQUIRED TO I WOULD KILL MYSELF. All she ever talks about is ducks. Fucking. Ducks. I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT DUCKS.
Can you blow a bubble?:
Yep
Can you dance?:
Somewhat
Can you do a cart wheel?:
Yeah
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?:
Never attempted it so I'll just assume no
Can you wiggle your ears?:
A little, but not very much.
Can you wiggle your nose?:
Yes.
Can you roll your tongue?:
Yep
Can you make a clover with your tongue?:
Yes
What do you do when you're mad?:
Swear, punch the shit out of things and rant to the internet
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?:
Punched a hole in the wall, broken someone's hand
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?:
What sick man would send babies to fight?
But, uh, no. I don't cry when I'm mad.
Ever really cried your heart out?:
A few times, yes.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?:
A few times, yes. Over reasons that when I think back were absolutely retarded because my logic was retarded but most of those times, I was on shark week, so.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?:
On Mike's yes. Kinda more into his chest/neck, but same difference. While he was here my mom managed to both piss me off and upset me, and all I did for three or four hours was rant through tears to Mike about how I hated everything and I hate living here.
Goddammit I'm retarded.
Ever cried over the opposite sex?:
Yep.
Ever cried over the same sex?:
Yeah, but not for the reason you may think; someone I love dearly was going to attempt to kill herself, and I cry when that happens. I'm just thinking bitch, no, I love you too much I can't let you do this and it scared the fuck out of me, obviously. It never happened while I was talking to them; it did after the shock wore off, though.
Do you cry when you get an injury?:
No, I swear.
Do certain songs make you cry?:
Eh, not so much make me cry as make me feel small, insignificant and force me to come to the realization that everything dies, and that I'll die one day. That somewhere, hundreds of years down the road, someone will see a picture of me and have no emotional connection whatsoever. I want to leave a mark, but I can't.
Do certain movies make you cry?:
Nope, not one to cry from movies [anymore, anyway]. I used to cry at Old Yeller and The Fox and the Hound, though. Fuck.
Ever cried from reading a book?:
Don't think so. Where the Red Fern Grows and Old Yeller got me the closest. Also, Flowers for Algernon. Amazing book, go read it.
Are you usually a happy person?:
Most of the time; however, I'm a gigantic pessimist, too.
What makes you the happiest?:
Mike.
Does being with your friends make you happy?:
Usually. They help me get my mind off of shit, which takes a tremendous weight off my shoulders and helps me relax.
Do you believe in yourself?:
Not particularly.
Do you wish you were happier?:
Never really thought about it; really, I don't think I can get much happier at the moment.
Is being happy overrated?:
Nah
Can music make you happy?:
Every now and again.
How many times have you had your heart broken?:
None.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?:
Yes.
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'I love you'?:
Mike says it all the time. Ben says it sometimes when I feel bad and dammit, Ben, I always feel bad because I feel weird saying it to anyone besides Mike. HOWEVER, I do love my friends so, there.
Do you actually hate anyone?:
The only hatred I have is towards people who think 'hating' someone is the key to becoming the ruler of the universe/makes them badass/something else of the sort
Have you ever been on a hit list?:
I've been threatened over the internet and some kid said he was going to hack my computer so I couldn't call the police, send me porn in my email [I get porn emails anyway, that's not all that uncommon; they go to my spam folder ANYWAY and if my computer was LOLHAXORD then how the fuck would I get into my email anyway? FUCKING NUTTER] and track me down using my IP address and murder me.
That kid was hilarious. And like, 11.
Are you a mean bully?:
Only to idiots.
Do you hate George Bush?:
I don't even give a fuck
Is your self-esteem extremely low?:
bawww I'm fat/not pretty/worthless/other teenage bullshit
Do you think you're good looking?:
There are people who look better than me, and people who look worse.
Do you wish you could be someone else?:
Eugh no
What is your current hair color?:
Dark brown
What is your eye color?:
They're heterochromatic. Green and silver in one, and green and brown/blue in the other.
What is your skin tone?:
Ghost.
Current piercings?:
None.
Have any tattoos?:
Nope.
Straight hair or curly?:
Straight
What shirt are you wearing?:
Mole Day t-shirt from the science club at school.
Necklace(s)?:
I'm not wearing any right now, but I only have two necklaces that I've ever worn, and they're both 'mood' necklaces. One has random splotches of moodshit on a sharktooth-shaped piece of metal, and the other is lightning-bolt shaped.
Shoes?:
None, my feet are nudists
Hugged someone?:
Last person I hugged was Mike. Like, 4 months ago.
Been on the phone until the sun came up?:
Not on the phone, but Mike and I have been in calls for several hours at a time. I think 13/14 hours was our record at some point over the past summer.
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?:
Nope.
Laughed so hard you cried?:
Yeah, and when it happened I had no fucking clue why it was happening. It just happened.
Got in a fight with someone?:
Yep
Person you talked to in person?:
My mom.
Person you talked to online?:
Mike.
Person you hugged?:
Mike.
Do you like surveys?:
They help me waste time, so yeah.
Do you get along with your parents?:
Not usually.
Do you have mental breakdowns?:
Yeah.
Current mood:
Irritated
Current music:
Cut Copy - Hearts On Fire - http://www.youtube.com/user/Railgunsk?feature=mhee#p/f/6/9U63RXgFktM
Current hair style:
Uh. It's there.
Current crush:
Try me, faggot
Current thing I ought to be doing:
Not wasting time
Current windows open:
Firefox - Blogger, Last.FM, Youtube, deviantART
Then there's Photoshop and Skype.
Current desktop picture:
Mike.
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?:
Yeah
Did you ever run away from home?:
Yeah, for like four hours. Consisted of me sitting in the woods playing with cats.
Did you ever want to be a doctor?:
Yeah, but then I realize that it'd be expensive of hell for me to go for it in school and I don't have the money to do so.
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?:
Yep, but I'm not in shape enough to go in without risking a heart attack.
Do you know how to swim?:
I'm like a motherfucking dolphin
Do you like roller coasters?:
Some, but I can't do loops. Also, very very very large drops scare the living shit out of me and I freak out and have panic attacks, yay.
Do you own a bike?:
Yes
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?:
Eating it, yes. Digesting it, no.
Does hair loss run in your family at all?:
Uh, don't think so
Does your car get good gas mileage?:
Mine does, yes. My mom's? Not as great.
Does your family have family picnics?:
Nope, because my grandma hates my mom, my brother hates everyone and only five members of my family (including myself) live in this town. The rest are scattered through the South, Virginia, Tennessee, Nevada, and Alaska.
Have you ever been on a plane?:
Yes.
Have you ever been to the ocean?:
So many fucking times lkajfsdkgh
Have you ever painted your nails?:
I've always had a weird hatred towards nail polish. Probably because it smells badly and tastes horrible.
How tall are you?:
Somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11", I don't even know anymore
How much money do you have on you?
Somewhere about $700, probably a bit more. I only carry maybe $50 in my wallet at any time, though, depending on where I'm going.
Last person you hung out with?:
Mike.
Last thing someone said to you?:
In person: "Going to Jamie's, I don't know when I'll be back"
Online [using voice]: "I love you too"
Online [through text]: "dunnndurrtcheep"
Last thing you said sang out loud?:
RING RING RING RING RING
BANANA PHONE
about an hour ago
What are you listening to?:
Cage the Elephant - Aberdeen (Thank You, Happy Birthday) - http://www.youtube.com/user/Railgunsk?feature=mhee#p/f/15/X1Y9BNgwk4o
What is the weather outside?:
Somewhat rainy, humid
What radio station do you listen to?:
Whatever has music I can stand on it
What was the last restaurant you ate at?:
Actual restaurant? Quaker Steak & Lube. Again, like 4 months ago. ;__; I didn't even eat there. I just sat there all mopey, pessimistic and irritable.
What was the last thing you had to drink?:
Vanilla tea, oh my god.
What was the last movie you watched?:
Little Fockers
WELL THAT WAS A GREAT WASTE OF TIME
Not as great as minecraft but still pretty great regardless
Srh
Are you single?:
No.
What’s your favorite number?:
Uh, I like 17, 19, 5, 14 and 13. I can't choose because that's numberist.
What color do you wear most?:
Black. I swear, the only things I own that have a color other than black are maybe three shirts, some socks, boxers, some underwear and my bras. That's it.
Least favorite color?:
I've always disliked pink. Not because of 'omg if u liek pink ur retarded, if u dunt ur a hardass' but because my mother always deemed it appropriate to don me in pink outfits as a child. All the time. I'm still angry about that because I wanted to wear jeans so she fucking bought me pink ones. Bitch that's not what I meant. I WANTED REGULAR JEANS NOT SHITTY GIRLY RIPOFFS
Favorite candy?
Christ, as long as it's chock full of sugar I really don't give a fuck
What do you smoke?:
I don't need to smoke anything, I'm high on life
Are you happy with your life right now?:
Pretty happy. I'll be happier once these two and a half weeks are over, though.
Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?:
I've never been told I look like a celebrity, but I've been told I reminded someone of a celebrity. To be honest, though, I'm glad I don't look like a celeb, because then I'd feel like a shitty ripoff of something that was shit to begin with and they wanted to just see how bad it could get.
What is your favorite class in school?:
Uh, I love Chemistry, but the people in it are fucking retarded. Love World Cultures, too, but again, people in my class are as dumb as bricks. Also love math, but...again. Fucking retarded people. I'd pick Art, but there's a kid with some illness in my class who's a fucking dick to everyone and I just want to jam a palette down his throat. Maybe then he'd shut the hell up.
Do you shop at Hollister/DC/Bluenotes?:
No, because I'm not a faggot prepchav who thinks 'high label clothing' makes me the shit
How do you make money?:
Uh, random shit, lately. Going to apply for some jobs for the summer though so we'll see.
Who is your best friend?:
Jade, Mike, Ben, Chantelle, others
Don't really have just 'one' best friend; I definitely talk to Mike and Jade more than anyone else because Ben and I are just usually like 'oh, by the way, boobs' and then I scar him for life somehow and it just goes on and on.
Where do you go to school?
A highschool.
Are you outgoing?:
Depends on the circumstances.
One word to describe you?:
Mike's.
Favorite pair of shoes?:
I have a pair of Vans I typically wear. I don't really have 'favorite' shoes because I only own two pair and then a pair of boots.
Do you own big sunglasses?:
You mean like those retarded huge sunglasses that anyone who was anyone owned as a child? I used to, but now I just have aviators because I'm...I don't know. But they're mirrored and people can't see where I'm looking.
Where do you wish you were right now?:
With Mike, preferably in his arms.
What should you be doing right now?:
Anything but being a lazy skinbag
Do you have a crush on anyone right now?:
I bet you can't guess it
try me, motherfucker
Honestly, what's on your mind right now?:
Mike, how the school year is coming to an end, HOLY SHIT I FEEL OLD, I AM OLD, and numerous other things that probably wouldn't make sense out of context.
Honestly, what are you doing right now?:
In a call with Mike, and talking to Emily, listening to Jade flip her shit because GLADOS is calling her fat...or something
Honestly, have you done something bad today?:
Bad as in 'morally unacceptable' or bad as in 'generally unpleasant'? If there's something morally wrong with being on the computer, yes. Otherwise, no. Generally bad, though? Yeah, I smacked my shin off of the inside of a hot oven. That was nice. Broiled shin - mm, mm good
Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel?:
When they show old movie reruns, then fuck yes
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?:
Mike, at about 4 this morning. I apparently fell asleep on him, but I don't remember it.
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?:
Nope
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?:
Uh, I don't get mad too easily, but it's usually people who bitch about people who've done nothing to them, or, more often, people who complain about their significant other and say nothing good about them, ever. Same people often go 'oh, I'd break up with him/her but I want to see if I have a chance with someone else first' or even those who brag about cheating or being cruel or some shit. Jesus Christ, grow some fucking balls/ovaries, you simpleminded pathetic fucks. None of you deserve a happy life with a significant other if all you do is bitch about them or use them. Go die in a fire.
Honestly, do you bite your nails?:
Only if I have a hangnail.
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?:
Yes, Mike.
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?:
Yeah, it is kinda big. Only a few people really know about it, and none of those people are anyone outside of Mike, Jade, and some other friends.
Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?:
If I didn't like them, they wouldn't be my friend. However I do have one person that knows me who thinks I'm her friend and will be all BAWWW WE NEVER HANG OUT and I'm sitting there thinking THANK FUCK BECAUSE IF I HAD TO BE AROUND YOU MORE THAN I'M REQUIRED TO I WOULD KILL MYSELF. All she ever talks about is ducks. Fucking. Ducks. I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT DUCKS.
Can you blow a bubble?:
Yep
Can you dance?:
Somewhat
Can you do a cart wheel?:
Yeah
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?:
Never attempted it so I'll just assume no
Can you wiggle your ears?:
A little, but not very much.
Can you wiggle your nose?:
Yes.
Can you roll your tongue?:
Yep
Can you make a clover with your tongue?:
Yes
What do you do when you're mad?:
Swear, punch the shit out of things and rant to the internet
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?:
Punched a hole in the wall, broken someone's hand
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?:
What sick man would send babies to fight?
But, uh, no. I don't cry when I'm mad.
Ever really cried your heart out?:
A few times, yes.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?:
A few times, yes. Over reasons that when I think back were absolutely retarded because my logic was retarded but most of those times, I was on shark week, so.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?:
On Mike's yes. Kinda more into his chest/neck, but same difference. While he was here my mom managed to both piss me off and upset me, and all I did for three or four hours was rant through tears to Mike about how I hated everything and I hate living here.
Goddammit I'm retarded.
Ever cried over the opposite sex?:
Yep.
Ever cried over the same sex?:
Yeah, but not for the reason you may think; someone I love dearly was going to attempt to kill herself, and I cry when that happens. I'm just thinking bitch, no, I love you too much I can't let you do this and it scared the fuck out of me, obviously. It never happened while I was talking to them; it did after the shock wore off, though.
Do you cry when you get an injury?:
No, I swear.
Do certain songs make you cry?:
Eh, not so much make me cry as make me feel small, insignificant and force me to come to the realization that everything dies, and that I'll die one day. That somewhere, hundreds of years down the road, someone will see a picture of me and have no emotional connection whatsoever. I want to leave a mark, but I can't.
Do certain movies make you cry?:
Nope, not one to cry from movies [anymore, anyway]. I used to cry at Old Yeller and The Fox and the Hound, though. Fuck.
Ever cried from reading a book?:
Don't think so. Where the Red Fern Grows and Old Yeller got me the closest. Also, Flowers for Algernon. Amazing book, go read it.
Are you usually a happy person?:
Most of the time; however, I'm a gigantic pessimist, too.
What makes you the happiest?:
Mike.
Does being with your friends make you happy?:
Usually. They help me get my mind off of shit, which takes a tremendous weight off my shoulders and helps me relax.
Do you believe in yourself?:
Not particularly.
Do you wish you were happier?:
Never really thought about it; really, I don't think I can get much happier at the moment.
Is being happy overrated?:
Nah
Can music make you happy?:
Every now and again.
How many times have you had your heart broken?:
None.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?:
Yes.
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'I love you'?:
Mike says it all the time. Ben says it sometimes when I feel bad and dammit, Ben, I always feel bad because I feel weird saying it to anyone besides Mike. HOWEVER, I do love my friends so, there.
Do you actually hate anyone?:
The only hatred I have is towards people who think 'hating' someone is the key to becoming the ruler of the universe/makes them badass/something else of the sort
Have you ever been on a hit list?:
I've been threatened over the internet and some kid said he was going to hack my computer so I couldn't call the police, send me porn in my email [I get porn emails anyway, that's not all that uncommon; they go to my spam folder ANYWAY and if my computer was LOLHAXORD then how the fuck would I get into my email anyway? FUCKING NUTTER] and track me down using my IP address and murder me.
That kid was hilarious. And like, 11.
Are you a mean bully?:
Only to idiots.
Do you hate George Bush?:
I don't even give a fuck
Is your self-esteem extremely low?:
bawww I'm fat/not pretty/worthless/other teenage bullshit
Do you think you're good looking?:
There are people who look better than me, and people who look worse.
Do you wish you could be someone else?:
Eugh no
What is your current hair color?:
Dark brown
What is your eye color?:
They're heterochromatic. Green and silver in one, and green and brown/blue in the other.
What is your skin tone?:
Ghost.
Current piercings?:
None.
Have any tattoos?:
Nope.
Straight hair or curly?:
Straight
What shirt are you wearing?:
Mole Day t-shirt from the science club at school.
Necklace(s)?:
I'm not wearing any right now, but I only have two necklaces that I've ever worn, and they're both 'mood' necklaces. One has random splotches of moodshit on a sharktooth-shaped piece of metal, and the other is lightning-bolt shaped.
Shoes?:
None, my feet are nudists
Hugged someone?:
Last person I hugged was Mike. Like, 4 months ago.
Been on the phone until the sun came up?:
Not on the phone, but Mike and I have been in calls for several hours at a time. I think 13/14 hours was our record at some point over the past summer.
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?:
Nope.
Laughed so hard you cried?:
Yeah, and when it happened I had no fucking clue why it was happening. It just happened.
Got in a fight with someone?:
Yep
Person you talked to in person?:
My mom.
Person you talked to online?:
Mike.
Person you hugged?:
Mike.
Do you like surveys?:
They help me waste time, so yeah.
Do you get along with your parents?:
Not usually.
Do you have mental breakdowns?:
Yeah.
Current mood:
Irritated
Current music:
Cut Copy - Hearts On Fire - http://www.youtube.com/user/Railgunsk?feature=mhee#p/f/6/9U63RXgFktM
Current hair style:
Uh. It's there.
Current crush:
Try me, faggot
Current thing I ought to be doing:
Not wasting time
Current windows open:
Firefox - Blogger, Last.FM, Youtube, deviantART
Then there's Photoshop and Skype.
Current desktop picture:
Mike.
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?:
Yeah
Did you ever run away from home?:
Yeah, for like four hours. Consisted of me sitting in the woods playing with cats.
Did you ever want to be a doctor?:
Yeah, but then I realize that it'd be expensive of hell for me to go for it in school and I don't have the money to do so.
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?:
Yep, but I'm not in shape enough to go in without risking a heart attack.
Do you know how to swim?:
I'm like a motherfucking dolphin
Do you like roller coasters?:
Some, but I can't do loops. Also, very very very large drops scare the living shit out of me and I freak out and have panic attacks, yay.
Do you own a bike?:
Yes
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?:
Eating it, yes. Digesting it, no.
Does hair loss run in your family at all?:
Uh, don't think so
Does your car get good gas mileage?:
Mine does, yes. My mom's? Not as great.
Does your family have family picnics?:
Nope, because my grandma hates my mom, my brother hates everyone and only five members of my family (including myself) live in this town. The rest are scattered through the South, Virginia, Tennessee, Nevada, and Alaska.
Have you ever been on a plane?:
Yes.
Have you ever been to the ocean?:
So many fucking times lkajfsdkgh
Have you ever painted your nails?:
I've always had a weird hatred towards nail polish. Probably because it smells badly and tastes horrible.
How tall are you?:
Somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11", I don't even know anymore
How much money do you have on you?
Somewhere about $700, probably a bit more. I only carry maybe $50 in my wallet at any time, though, depending on where I'm going.
Last person you hung out with?:
Mike.
Last thing someone said to you?:
In person: "Going to Jamie's, I don't know when I'll be back"
Online [using voice]: "I love you too"
Online [through text]: "dunnndurrtcheep"
Last thing you said sang out loud?:
RING RING RING RING RING
BANANA PHONE
about an hour ago
What are you listening to?:
Cage the Elephant - Aberdeen (Thank You, Happy Birthday) - http://www.youtube.com/user/Railgunsk?feature=mhee#p/f/15/X1Y9BNgwk4o
What is the weather outside?:
Somewhat rainy, humid
What radio station do you listen to?:
Whatever has music I can stand on it
What was the last restaurant you ate at?:
Actual restaurant? Quaker Steak & Lube. Again, like 4 months ago. ;__; I didn't even eat there. I just sat there all mopey, pessimistic and irritable.
What was the last thing you had to drink?:
Vanilla tea, oh my god.
What was the last movie you watched?:
Little Fockers
WELL THAT WAS A GREAT WASTE OF TIME
Not as great as minecraft but still pretty great regardless
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monthly shit
This'll be several 'posts' long since I've been filling this thing out during studyhalls since I never ever ever get work in classes anymore because we have 16.5 days left and my teachers are already going "Fuck this shit" so yeah. Anyway.
Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favorite websites.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - Your beliefs.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.
Okay, so, Day 1 - Talk about my current relationship.
I'm currently in a relationship with the most amazing, sweet, caring, loving guy in the world. We've been together for a good while now. I've known him since December 2009 and we've been together since June 22, 2010. So, almost 11 months. I know that's not that long, and it doesn't feel like it. However, it also feels...like it's been forever. It just feels right. I don't know how to explain it, it's just that even though we may have bickering over stupid stuff that's not really 'bickering' even though it kinda is, we never fight. We've never fought. People may say that every couple fights, but that's not true. They may disagree, but...yeah. I can honestly say Mike and I are more couple than 95% of them out there, and we've never fought. At least not seriously or over anything 'big', I guess.
I guess I'll get into our background and everything, at least how I felt when I met him. I met him while I was "with" another guy, but I was attracted to him. I hadn't seen him yet [yes, our relationship started online], but I loved his personality and the way he talked and all of that. Without any harm meant towards my ex, I can honestly say I've always liked Mike's personality more. To me, something just clicked. But yeah, soon ex and I broke up, it hurt a little, but I had been preparing myself for the event for quite awhile, since I figured it was going to happen sooner or later. So, I guess you could say I wasn't hurt so badly.
Anyways, I had always loved Mike's personality, and at one point I was sent a picture of him [by him] and, as cheesy as it may sound, I felt immediately attracted towards him. More so than I had ever been attracted to anyone, even my past boyfriends, which may or may not be insulting to them and if it is that's just how it is. I dealt with your guys' shit for the longest time.
Speaking of which, I've never had to 'put up' with anything Mike does. Sure, there have been times where he'd have to go somewhere and I'd be sad because I wouldn't be able to go with him or talk to him or something, but that's pretty normal for me since I'm a clingy person. However, he has never done anything that has pissed me off. Maybe one or two things that annoyed me, but nothing severe enough for me to say anything, because I can shrug it off a lot of the time.
Back to what I was saying, though; I felt attracted towards him since the very beginning, and I was debating on just telling him. I was absolutely sure he didn't feel the same, and it hurt. At the same time though, I was sure he hated me because of the person that I was "friends" with who introduced me to him. However, I soon learned that wasn't true.
He talked to me every day since the day he met me, and...pretty soon, he found he was attracted to me, I suppose.
There was a point where we decided to meet up at Hershey Park in August of last year; around this time last year that we had been talking of it. On June 21, though, he said to me; "Do you think our parents would let us see eachother sooner if we pretended to like one another? <xD" and when I replied [rather kinda scared] "I'm not sure <XD" we soon kept talking about liking one another and everything and then went to bed.
I woke up the next morning, and logged on Skype; it was somewhere between 10 and 2-ish [can't quite remember] and he was online, too. He said something along the lines of 'so, I was laying in bed thinking last night, and it kinda dawned on me that I'm falling in love with you'. He then asked that, if all things went well whenever we met up with eachother in August, if he could be my boyfriend. I can honestly say that I stopped responding and just kinda...sat there for a couple of minutes. My mind was screaming at me to do something, but...yeah. I finally said yes, and later on, he asked me if we could make it official since he didn't think he could wait - that he didn't want to wait. So...yeah.
I can honestly say I am in love with this man, because he's so much of everything I want, need, and everything that's good. He actually loves me and that's something I'm not used to.
I still think of him telling me sometimes and it just melts my heart.
Day 2 - Where I'd like to be in 10 years
Well, in 10 years I'll be 27/28, and I'm hoping that, by then, Mike and I have gotten our own place, have steady jobs, and have a child. Maybe children [yes I am a teenager who wants kids, fuck you, he wants them too]. Oh, and we've decided we want a tortoiseshell cat and a corgi. He's not going to agree to this I bet [he'll just look at me funny] but I want to name the cat Bumblebee if it's female (Mercutio, if male) and the corgi Benvolio. Fuck the gender, I just want a cute little corgi named Benvolio.
Anyway, in a more serious reply, yeah. We'll have our own place, be married, and have a kid or two, and pets. I'll hopefully be working in art and as a teacher. I want to get out of the little hicktown I'm in [I abhor this place with a passion and if you lived here, you would understand why. If you have ever heard the name, seen the place, or heard of the place or some shit and chances you have, you would understand why]. However, I'll follow Mike wherever he wants to go. I want to live kinda far out, but also close enough to where we could easily drive to the city to do some shopping, and for stuff like hospitals and all, just in case.
Day 3 - My views on drugs and alcohol
Uh, well, let me just start off by saying I don't support the usage of either, but again, I couldn't care less about what other people do with their lives, as long as it's not someone I know, or if it's not hurting someone else in the process.
I don't mind people drinking on occasion; there's nothing wrong with drinking every now and then, say, if you were going out with friends or if you're on a date or something, as long as you don't go overboard. I don't see why people want to go out and get smashed or wasted; what's fun about forgetting the night, and having a hangover? Do...do they like feeling bad? Hell, I don't know. I just know alcohol smells absolutely disgusting and I have no interest in it what so ever, so I'll never drink it. The smell alone makes me ill; I don't know how I'd fare if I drank it. Don't want to find out.
And...drugs. I'm against drugs. Not because I don't want people to feel good, but there are certainly many, many other, less expensive ways of getting that 'rush'. People who do drugs get addicted, and it's a hard addiction to break. I don't like seeing people suffer, either, so...that may be a part of it, as well. Not to mention I've seen many, many people in my family torn apart, go to jail, etc. over drugs and alcohol and it's just not a fun experience from what I've heard.
Day 4 - My views on religion
I'm not a religious person at all. I'm spiritual, a bit. Mostly because I've had weird things happen that I can't explain. Things I won't get into here because I just got out of the loony bin and therapy and don't want to go back anytime soon.
Day 5 - A time I thought about ending my own life
Well...I guess I should start off by saying, I used to self harm. No one ever knew about it. I never told anyone; and because I hid them so well and they weren't in the usual places, no one ever so much as really questioned me or assumed or anything like that. Disclaimer: I didn't do it every day. Maybe a few times a week, but I never made myself bleed so much that it would show through clothes, or on clothes. I did it in the shower, usually, since it'd wash away. I'm not going to go about how I did it, but it wasn't cutting.
Day 6 - 30 interesting facts about myself
There's not much 'interesting' about me, but here goes.
1. I do parkour.
2. I'll listen to almost any music genre
3. I love 'Cut Copy' and 'Plus 44'
4. I have two cats, I bet you didn't know that
5. One of them is retarded/simplecat
6. I have Synesthesia
7. I have sectoral heterochromia in both of my eyes. My left eye is green and a sharp silver, while my right is green and light brown/hazel.
8. I had eye surgery at a young age
9. I've suffered through mild schizophrenia, have been declared 'insane' by a few therapists, and have suffered through depression and it pisses me the fuck off whenever someone acts like they have one of those things just so they can get away with being weird, cruel, "cool" or get away with being a retarded teenager.
10. I want kids one day
11. My conversations with people usually go in very odd directions
12. I swear a lot, not remotely interesting
13. lol, ghosts
14. I'm directly related to King Henry VIII
15. I've got German in me
16. Also Russian
17. And Polish
18. Swedish
19. Tiny speck of Native American
20. I have a very dramatic widow's peak
21. My canines are too big. It's gotten to the point where I have to make sure they don't stick out of my mouth when I close my mouth. I may be a vampire.
22. I'm engaged. We don't have rings, but we're engaged.
23. I don't want a big fancy wedding whenever Boyfriend and I are to be married, but I do want a bit of a ceremony
24. I hate dresses.
25. I have a weird obsession with Mike's facial hair, and hair in general. It's just soft and that's really weird and I'm so messed up shut up, butthug
26. I
27. have
28. nothing
29. else to say
30. I'm not even remotely interesting
Day 7 - My zodiac sign
My Chinese zodiac is the dog, so I guess that fits, in a sense. The personality thing kinda matches up pretty well. My other 'sign' is Capricorn and that kinda fits, too.
That's all.
I'm so interesting
Day 8 - A moment I felt most satisfied with my life
Uhm this is actually a really, really hard thing to think of. There's so many things that just go wrong but at the same time they don't really matter in the long run. I have amazing friends, an amazing boyfriend, and my family is alright sometimes too. I also have an education and am sending in many applications to get a job, so. Maybe that'll happen. I kinda need it. I guess I'm satisfied, but I'd be more satisfied if Mike and I lived on our own. Won't happen for another couple of years, but still.
Day 9 - My future
Well, my future is going to be full of Mike. That much, I know. I don't know about anything else, and I already talked about my future and what I hope it'll be like a few questions back.
Day 10 - My first love and first kiss
Even though I had a few boyfriends before Mike, I can honestly say that Mike is the first guy I've actually loved. He's the only one that I've been...uhm...attracted to physically. Not to mention, I'm really attracted to him emotionally, too. He was also my first kiss, and I don't know how to describe it; it was perfect. He's perfect.
Day 11 - Ipod on shuffle
Yeah, I don't have my ipod so
skipping
I'll finish this shit later since that's all I have saved and today happened to be day 11. Uh, yeah
Day 12 - Bullet my day
- Wake up
- Take shower
- Stand in the bathroom for awhile because I'm lazy
- Make pies
- Some internet
- Talk to Ben and Jade
- Call Mike
- Internet and TV
- Eating
- Talk to Mike when he gets online
- More internet
- Eating again
- Internet
And several trips to the bathroom scattered throughout
Day 13 - Somewhere I'd like to move or visit
Well, I've always wanted to go to England. London, really. Now I have a reason, to visit my wee lil sack 'o potatoes. Paris would be pretty to go to, and I've always thought that going to Sweden would be some sweet shit. I'd like to meet up with a couple friends I've met online there, since...they live there.
Day 14 - My earliest memory
I can't remember. B:
Day 15 - My favorite websites
DeviantART, tumblr, LiveJournal (sparklesnark)
Day 16 - My views on mainstream music
I fucking hate most of it because it's shoved down my throat so often that it just becomes annoying.
Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favorite websites.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - Your beliefs.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.
Okay, so, Day 1 - Talk about my current relationship.
I'm currently in a relationship with the most amazing, sweet, caring, loving guy in the world. We've been together for a good while now. I've known him since December 2009 and we've been together since June 22, 2010. So, almost 11 months. I know that's not that long, and it doesn't feel like it. However, it also feels...like it's been forever. It just feels right. I don't know how to explain it, it's just that even though we may have bickering over stupid stuff that's not really 'bickering' even though it kinda is, we never fight. We've never fought. People may say that every couple fights, but that's not true. They may disagree, but...yeah. I can honestly say Mike and I are more couple than 95% of them out there, and we've never fought. At least not seriously or over anything 'big', I guess.
I guess I'll get into our background and everything, at least how I felt when I met him. I met him while I was "with" another guy, but I was attracted to him. I hadn't seen him yet [yes, our relationship started online], but I loved his personality and the way he talked and all of that. Without any harm meant towards my ex, I can honestly say I've always liked Mike's personality more. To me, something just clicked. But yeah, soon ex and I broke up, it hurt a little, but I had been preparing myself for the event for quite awhile, since I figured it was going to happen sooner or later. So, I guess you could say I wasn't hurt so badly.
Anyways, I had always loved Mike's personality, and at one point I was sent a picture of him [by him] and, as cheesy as it may sound, I felt immediately attracted towards him. More so than I had ever been attracted to anyone, even my past boyfriends, which may or may not be insulting to them and if it is that's just how it is. I dealt with your guys' shit for the longest time.
Speaking of which, I've never had to 'put up' with anything Mike does. Sure, there have been times where he'd have to go somewhere and I'd be sad because I wouldn't be able to go with him or talk to him or something, but that's pretty normal for me since I'm a clingy person. However, he has never done anything that has pissed me off. Maybe one or two things that annoyed me, but nothing severe enough for me to say anything, because I can shrug it off a lot of the time.
Back to what I was saying, though; I felt attracted towards him since the very beginning, and I was debating on just telling him. I was absolutely sure he didn't feel the same, and it hurt. At the same time though, I was sure he hated me because of the person that I was "friends" with who introduced me to him. However, I soon learned that wasn't true.
He talked to me every day since the day he met me, and...pretty soon, he found he was attracted to me, I suppose.
There was a point where we decided to meet up at Hershey Park in August of last year; around this time last year that we had been talking of it. On June 21, though, he said to me; "Do you think our parents would let us see eachother sooner if we pretended to like one another? <xD" and when I replied [rather kinda scared] "I'm not sure <XD" we soon kept talking about liking one another and everything and then went to bed.
I woke up the next morning, and logged on Skype; it was somewhere between 10 and 2-ish [can't quite remember] and he was online, too. He said something along the lines of 'so, I was laying in bed thinking last night, and it kinda dawned on me that I'm falling in love with you'. He then asked that, if all things went well whenever we met up with eachother in August, if he could be my boyfriend. I can honestly say that I stopped responding and just kinda...sat there for a couple of minutes. My mind was screaming at me to do something, but...yeah. I finally said yes, and later on, he asked me if we could make it official since he didn't think he could wait - that he didn't want to wait. So...yeah.
I can honestly say I am in love with this man, because he's so much of everything I want, need, and everything that's good. He actually loves me and that's something I'm not used to.
I still think of him telling me sometimes and it just melts my heart.
Day 2 - Where I'd like to be in 10 years
Well, in 10 years I'll be 27/28, and I'm hoping that, by then, Mike and I have gotten our own place, have steady jobs, and have a child. Maybe children [yes I am a teenager who wants kids, fuck you, he wants them too]. Oh, and we've decided we want a tortoiseshell cat and a corgi. He's not going to agree to this I bet [he'll just look at me funny] but I want to name the cat Bumblebee if it's female (Mercutio, if male) and the corgi Benvolio. Fuck the gender, I just want a cute little corgi named Benvolio.
Anyway, in a more serious reply, yeah. We'll have our own place, be married, and have a kid or two, and pets. I'll hopefully be working in art and as a teacher. I want to get out of the little hicktown I'm in [I abhor this place with a passion and if you lived here, you would understand why. If you have ever heard the name, seen the place, or heard of the place or some shit and chances you have, you would understand why]. However, I'll follow Mike wherever he wants to go. I want to live kinda far out, but also close enough to where we could easily drive to the city to do some shopping, and for stuff like hospitals and all, just in case.
Day 3 - My views on drugs and alcohol
Uh, well, let me just start off by saying I don't support the usage of either, but again, I couldn't care less about what other people do with their lives, as long as it's not someone I know, or if it's not hurting someone else in the process.
I don't mind people drinking on occasion; there's nothing wrong with drinking every now and then, say, if you were going out with friends or if you're on a date or something, as long as you don't go overboard. I don't see why people want to go out and get smashed or wasted; what's fun about forgetting the night, and having a hangover? Do...do they like feeling bad? Hell, I don't know. I just know alcohol smells absolutely disgusting and I have no interest in it what so ever, so I'll never drink it. The smell alone makes me ill; I don't know how I'd fare if I drank it. Don't want to find out.
And...drugs. I'm against drugs. Not because I don't want people to feel good, but there are certainly many, many other, less expensive ways of getting that 'rush'. People who do drugs get addicted, and it's a hard addiction to break. I don't like seeing people suffer, either, so...that may be a part of it, as well. Not to mention I've seen many, many people in my family torn apart, go to jail, etc. over drugs and alcohol and it's just not a fun experience from what I've heard.
Day 4 - My views on religion
I'm not a religious person at all. I'm spiritual, a bit. Mostly because I've had weird things happen that I can't explain. Things I won't get into here because I just got out of the loony bin and therapy and don't want to go back anytime soon.
Day 5 - A time I thought about ending my own life
Well...I guess I should start off by saying, I used to self harm. No one ever knew about it. I never told anyone; and because I hid them so well and they weren't in the usual places, no one ever so much as really questioned me or assumed or anything like that. Disclaimer: I didn't do it every day. Maybe a few times a week, but I never made myself bleed so much that it would show through clothes, or on clothes. I did it in the shower, usually, since it'd wash away. I'm not going to go about how I did it, but it wasn't cutting.
Day 6 - 30 interesting facts about myself
There's not much 'interesting' about me, but here goes.
1. I do parkour.
2. I'll listen to almost any music genre
3. I love 'Cut Copy' and 'Plus 44'
4. I have two cats, I bet you didn't know that
5. One of them is retarded/simplecat
6. I have Synesthesia
7. I have sectoral heterochromia in both of my eyes. My left eye is green and a sharp silver, while my right is green and light brown/hazel.
8. I had eye surgery at a young age
9. I've suffered through mild schizophrenia, have been declared 'insane' by a few therapists, and have suffered through depression and it pisses me the fuck off whenever someone acts like they have one of those things just so they can get away with being weird, cruel, "cool" or get away with being a retarded teenager.
10. I want kids one day
11. My conversations with people usually go in very odd directions
12. I swear a lot, not remotely interesting
13. lol, ghosts
14. I'm directly related to King Henry VIII
15. I've got German in me
16. Also Russian
17. And Polish
18. Swedish
19. Tiny speck of Native American
20. I have a very dramatic widow's peak
21. My canines are too big. It's gotten to the point where I have to make sure they don't stick out of my mouth when I close my mouth. I may be a vampire.
22. I'm engaged. We don't have rings, but we're engaged.
23. I don't want a big fancy wedding whenever Boyfriend and I are to be married, but I do want a bit of a ceremony
24. I hate dresses.
25. I have a weird obsession with Mike's facial hair, and hair in general. It's just soft and that's really weird and I'm so messed up shut up, butthug
26. I
27. have
28. nothing
29. else to say
30. I'm not even remotely interesting
Day 7 - My zodiac sign
My Chinese zodiac is the dog, so I guess that fits, in a sense. The personality thing kinda matches up pretty well. My other 'sign' is Capricorn and that kinda fits, too.
That's all.
I'm so interesting
Day 8 - A moment I felt most satisfied with my life
Uhm this is actually a really, really hard thing to think of. There's so many things that just go wrong but at the same time they don't really matter in the long run. I have amazing friends, an amazing boyfriend, and my family is alright sometimes too. I also have an education and am sending in many applications to get a job, so. Maybe that'll happen. I kinda need it. I guess I'm satisfied, but I'd be more satisfied if Mike and I lived on our own. Won't happen for another couple of years, but still.
Day 9 - My future
Well, my future is going to be full of Mike. That much, I know. I don't know about anything else, and I already talked about my future and what I hope it'll be like a few questions back.
Day 10 - My first love and first kiss
Even though I had a few boyfriends before Mike, I can honestly say that Mike is the first guy I've actually loved. He's the only one that I've been...uhm...attracted to physically. Not to mention, I'm really attracted to him emotionally, too. He was also my first kiss, and I don't know how to describe it; it was perfect. He's perfect.
Day 11 - Ipod on shuffle
Yeah, I don't have my ipod so
skipping
I'll finish this shit later since that's all I have saved and today happened to be day 11. Uh, yeah
Day 12 - Bullet my day
- Wake up
- Take shower
- Stand in the bathroom for awhile because I'm lazy
- Make pies
- Some internet
- Talk to Ben and Jade
- Call Mike
- Internet and TV
- Eating
- Talk to Mike when he gets online
- More internet
- Eating again
- Internet
And several trips to the bathroom scattered throughout
Day 13 - Somewhere I'd like to move or visit
Well, I've always wanted to go to England. London, really. Now I have a reason, to visit my wee lil sack 'o potatoes. Paris would be pretty to go to, and I've always thought that going to Sweden would be some sweet shit. I'd like to meet up with a couple friends I've met online there, since...they live there.
Day 14 - My earliest memory
I can't remember. B:
Day 15 - My favorite websites
DeviantART, tumblr, LiveJournal (sparklesnark)
Day 16 - My views on mainstream music
I fucking hate most of it because it's shoved down my throat so often that it just becomes annoying.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Cats in baskets
Okay, technically it's one cat in a basket, and just multiple pictures of him, but I mean, come on.
Look at his face. Look at it.
And have a picture of my other cat, laying on my bedroom floor on some gross towels I need to wash:
Look at his face. Look at it.
And have a picture of my other cat, laying on my bedroom floor on some gross towels I need to wash:
As you may have read in my deviantART journal...
...My half-cousin was found dead yesterday morning by his father. No one really knows the cause of his death, but I, myself, have made a few somewhat-educated guesses based on how the kid lived his life.
This is the same boy caught sneaking into junkyards and scrapyards and the like to steal stuff so he could sell it to buy drugs and alcohol. Which, obviously led to him getting arrested not several, but many, many, many times. He started that shit when he was probably around 15-16 years old, maybe younger, and his father constantly had to bail him out because hey, his mother had been living with her new husband who she had been married to for quite awhile. AKA, my uncle. And they had other kids, too, so, yeah.
I feel bad for my cousins since they lost a half-brother, but to be honest, the kid was a dick.
Anyway...the kid basically sold shit to get money for drugs and alcohol, which really isn't all that much of a surprise, considering a lot of people tend to do stuff like that because they need their fix, but...most people I know of who do such things are smart enough to not mix drugs and alcohol, ever and that at least saves them a bit of respect from me.
But my half-cousin, what does he do?
Shoots up, snorts, drinks, all within just a few minutes of whatever else he did. Regardless. I shouldn't be giving out all this info, and I feel bad for bringing attention to it, but...really. His dad did so much for him as well, and the kid was still a selfish ass.
The last time I saw my other half-cousin (his younger brother) it was to bring him up to Pennsylvania so he could spend time with his mother. And during that 5-hour car ride, I was told stories about him getting arrested and assaulting policemen and really anyone that got between him and whatever it was that he wanted, whether he was high/drunk/stoned or whatever the hell else.
To add to that, this boy wasn't the skinniest person alive by any means. He was really, really overweight; I haven't seen him since I was probably 8-9, so about 9 years ago nearly, if not already. And last time I saw this child, he was only a few inches taller than me at the time (so he was maybe 5'5"? I know I'm like 5'10" now but this was years ago so yeah) and weighed at least two and a half times as much as I did; and I remember weighing probably around 75 or 80 pounds. So he was at least 200 by the time he was 13. Not healthy. Annnnd...he gained a hell of a lot of weight since then as well.
And he did nothing to help it or try to, you know, lose weight, and instead sat at home all day doing drugs, eating, and sleeping. Never working a job as far as I know.
Sooo...based on all of that shit, I'm guessing he died because his heart gave out. Adding together the overweight-ness, the fact he did nothing to cut back on that, and his mixing abuse of drugs and alcohol for at least 6 years, yeah.
I sure have a highly intelligent family.
Thank god he's not blood-related. I'd make a joke about it being because of his mom being my aunt but that would make me a dick, and it's far too soon anyway.
I feel weird, considering I'm not sad about it at all. He was always an asshole to everyone, regardless of who it was, and it seemed that whenever I was trying to hang out with his brother and play vidyagaems and shit with him for some cousin-bonding-time, it'd get worse. Whenever his brother would try to hang out with anyone it would get worse.
It was really weird and although I felt bad for the both of them, the older kiddo (the one who died) really pissed me off and since then I've had no feelings other than loathing towards him. His brother and I still get along, but I haven't heard his reaction to the finding. I feel bad for him.
Not the dead brother, but the younger one. He lost someone who was really close to him at some point, even if the man was a dick. He lost a part of his immediate family and hell, I know that's not fun. :C We don't know when the funeral is, either; we need to figure out what killed him first.
Watch me be completely off about it.
Watch him have died from something really, really sad and not caused by him at all.
Then I'll feel a little bad.
I respect the man, but only because I try my best to respect the dead. I have no respect for what he did during his life, though; that was horrible and lkajsfakldgjgd
This is the same boy caught sneaking into junkyards and scrapyards and the like to steal stuff so he could sell it to buy drugs and alcohol. Which, obviously led to him getting arrested not several, but many, many, many times. He started that shit when he was probably around 15-16 years old, maybe younger, and his father constantly had to bail him out because hey, his mother had been living with her new husband who she had been married to for quite awhile. AKA, my uncle. And they had other kids, too, so, yeah.
I feel bad for my cousins since they lost a half-brother, but to be honest, the kid was a dick.
Anyway...the kid basically sold shit to get money for drugs and alcohol, which really isn't all that much of a surprise, considering a lot of people tend to do stuff like that because they need their fix, but...most people I know of who do such things are smart enough to not mix drugs and alcohol, ever and that at least saves them a bit of respect from me.
But my half-cousin, what does he do?
Shoots up, snorts, drinks, all within just a few minutes of whatever else he did. Regardless. I shouldn't be giving out all this info, and I feel bad for bringing attention to it, but...really. His dad did so much for him as well, and the kid was still a selfish ass.
The last time I saw my other half-cousin (his younger brother) it was to bring him up to Pennsylvania so he could spend time with his mother. And during that 5-hour car ride, I was told stories about him getting arrested and assaulting policemen and really anyone that got between him and whatever it was that he wanted, whether he was high/drunk/stoned or whatever the hell else.
To add to that, this boy wasn't the skinniest person alive by any means. He was really, really overweight; I haven't seen him since I was probably 8-9, so about 9 years ago nearly, if not already. And last time I saw this child, he was only a few inches taller than me at the time (so he was maybe 5'5"? I know I'm like 5'10" now but this was years ago so yeah) and weighed at least two and a half times as much as I did; and I remember weighing probably around 75 or 80 pounds. So he was at least 200 by the time he was 13. Not healthy. Annnnd...he gained a hell of a lot of weight since then as well.
And he did nothing to help it or try to, you know, lose weight, and instead sat at home all day doing drugs, eating, and sleeping. Never working a job as far as I know.
Sooo...based on all of that shit, I'm guessing he died because his heart gave out. Adding together the overweight-ness, the fact he did nothing to cut back on that, and his mixing abuse of drugs and alcohol for at least 6 years, yeah.
I sure have a highly intelligent family.
Thank god he's not blood-related. I'd make a joke about it being because of his mom being my aunt but that would make me a dick, and it's far too soon anyway.
I feel weird, considering I'm not sad about it at all. He was always an asshole to everyone, regardless of who it was, and it seemed that whenever I was trying to hang out with his brother and play vidyagaems and shit with him for some cousin-bonding-time, it'd get worse. Whenever his brother would try to hang out with anyone it would get worse.
It was really weird and although I felt bad for the both of them, the older kiddo (the one who died) really pissed me off and since then I've had no feelings other than loathing towards him. His brother and I still get along, but I haven't heard his reaction to the finding. I feel bad for him.
Not the dead brother, but the younger one. He lost someone who was really close to him at some point, even if the man was a dick. He lost a part of his immediate family and hell, I know that's not fun. :C We don't know when the funeral is, either; we need to figure out what killed him first.
Watch me be completely off about it.
Watch him have died from something really, really sad and not caused by him at all.
Then I'll feel a little bad.
I respect the man, but only because I try my best to respect the dead. I have no respect for what he did during his life, though; that was horrible and lkajsfakldgjgd
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
100 things about me
You know, since...well...I'm kinda just sitting here at this point and I really need something to distract me, or really just...keep me busy, I guess, so I'm going to do my very best to type out 100 things about me; what I'm like, what my thoughts are, what I love, hate, and just...general things, I guess. Things people may have known, or not. Things that may seem totally 'bawww-y' and heavy stuff. So I apologize in advance if things are retarded, stupid, TMI or just...unpleasant.
So, here goes.
1. Sometimes, I'll feel like I don't deserve what I have, especially my friends, and Boyfriend. I'll feel like I'm only a burden to them and that I'm only bringing them down.
2. I try too hard sometimes. Way too hard.
3. A lot of the time, I come off as a huge dick, because I don't always think about what I say, before I say it.
4. I'm incredibly snarky and sarcastic, and sometimes hurt people because of that; all because I don't know how to make it obvious that I'm joking. Again, I come off as a huge dick.
5. Unless I'm told otherwise by people, I feel, well, worthless; however, that is only whenever Boyfriend isn't around for me to talk to.
6. Friends make me feel loved, yes, but Boyfriend is the only one that can cheer me up with a single message, even if I don't show it.
7. I used to be really, really incredibly awkward about PDA, but Boyfriend helped me defeat that feeling the first time we were out in public...a theme park - Hershey Park.
8. I feel as if I talk about certain subjects way too much; however, there are very few things I'm interested in enough or know enough about to hold a conversation, so many of my 'friendships' either don't get that close, or usually fail.
9. I'm a grammar nazi.
10. Despite what people may think, I'm not an emotionless bastard. I don't cry over everything, but I also don't let things whiz by without a second thought.
11. There have been nights where I've cried nonstop and gone to school the next day without any sleep.
12. I have severe insomnia on occasion, so there's often times where I go on only a few hours sleep for a couple of days, or go on with none for maybe two or three, until I pass out from exhaustion.
13. I have never really said 'I love you' to anyone before Boyfriend without meaning it with all of my heart and soul. That sounds sappy, but...
14. Mike is my everything, and always will be.
15. There are times when I think that everyone except Boyfriend is mad at me, no matter what anyone says.
16. In all of my past relationships, I was cheated on, ignored, etc. until they got 'tired' of me and threw me away. And despite all of those things, I moved on.
17. I've found someone who says he will never let me go...and I believe him.
18. People saying that you 'can't find someone through the internet' kinda disappoint me in a way. I can't say how or why, but I'm just all 'okay'.
19. I once had a friend that believed because we were best friends that we were 'dating'. Needless to say, her 'ex' (as in, who had just broken up with her days before) girlfriend got pissy and threatened to kill herself unless she got her 'gf' back. And I was like, lolwat.
20. I'm actually quite terrified of having to go to the gynecologist. No one should ever see that place unless it's Boyfriend in the future, or it's an emergency. I guess I'm more afraid of having a guy gyno than a female.
21. I tend to swear a lot, even though I don't mean to. It just...happens.
22. I'm a huge pervert at times, always pointing out what could be resembling anything sexual at all in any way. Also, 'that's what he/she said' jokes abound.
23. People who say 'I miss my friend but can't say hi' disappoint me to a certain extent, too. You can't say hi? What are you, mute? Just walk up to them and say hi. If they don't respond, say it again, or just leave them alone and try again later. Who knows? They may just be busy, especially if they're working on something.
24. Sometimes I get into moods and will write for hours, only to delete and/or throw away poems, stories, etc. because I feel like they're too 'revealing', in a sense.
25. When I'm happy, I may actually come off as sad, which really hurts me, because I don't want people feeling like I'm sad and that they can't help when they do help.
26. I absolutely hate my voice and laugh. I know that your voice sounds different to other people than it does to you, but really.
27. I don't always tell people how much they mean to me, because I'm really bad at doing so, except for with Boyfriend; but rest assured, I love you. If you're my friend, I love you, and thank you.
28. People who call anyone who has any love for animals at all, or who has ever dressed like or drawn and animal before a 'furry' ruffle my feathers, so to speak. If you're going to label someone, do it right.
29. Sometimes I'll cry whenever I'm happy. However, I'm not sure if people believe me whenever I tell them it's because I'm happy, not sad.
30. Whenever I hear to a song that I used to listen to a lot (either wanted or not) as a younger kid, or as a kid in general, I'll sometimes get sad or teary because I miss being a kid and not having to worry so much.
31. Unlike most teenagers, I want to have kids at some point.
32. I'm always scared I'm going to do or say something stupid and lose one or more of my friends.
33. I hate arguing with my friends over stupid things that don't really matter, but because of my more competitive kinda nature, I don't tend to drop things easily, which makes me feel like an ass.
34. Sometimes, I feel like I'm legitimately not wanted by my family. Sounds like a stereotypical teenage thing, but after having two fathers leave me as a small child, and both of them being abusive, along with a mother who normally doesn't speak to me unless it's important to her or she needs something done, then, well, yeah.
35. I can honestly say I no longer have a brother; unless he decides to stop being a 'rebel' and all that shit, he's pretty much dead to me, especially since he's a douche who only wants to pick fights with people.
36. Whenever I'm sick, I want to fight things out; I hate taking medication because it upsets my stomach.
37. I have dreams that make me wonder about the sanity of my psyche.
38. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it on my own in life.
39. I want to be a teacher, and an illustrator. However, I have no idea what I want to do for sure, because I'd also enjoy being a mental therapist, or an engineer.
40. I have a bunch of self-esteem and self-image issues. I often think I'm fat.
41. Guilty of playing The Game.
42. Guilty of using memes in the real world.
43. Guilty of disliking brownies to a certain extent because of the moist richness. I have a weird gag reflex with everything but brownies and cake make it horribly bad. herp redundancy
44. Whenever someone's upset, I feel like it's my fault.
45. If someone close to me gets sad, I get scared. I'm not entirely sure why.
46. Whenever I got my period, my mom didn't know for a few months, because I never told her, and I had my own bathroom; she never checked the cans.
47. I love zombies. If I could acquire a pet zombie, I'd do it. As long as it didn't bite.
48. I am very prone to panic attacks, especially whenever I'm in a hospital. Kind of ironic.
49. I get angry whenever someone makes an announcement 'I'm grounded' or something and then complains about it. You did something wrong, and you got caught. Do you expect to be rewarded? No, fuck you. You got what you deserve.
50. I support homosexual marriage and rights.
51. I am a feminist, but not a feminazi. That's insane. Everyone should have equal rights, in my eyes; at least adults.
52. I love the smell of coffee, but I don't enjoy the taste. However, I don't mind black coffee very much (but it hates me).
53. I love the smell of cigars, but have never smoked; don't plan to anyway. I need money for vidya gaems, computer, and more importantly, boyfriend.
54. I find it odd when people claim to 'love all animals equally' and then claim to be a 'dog person' or a 'cat person', or say how ugly some animal is and that they hate it. Bitch, please. You don't love all animals equally.
55. On that last point, I'm neither a cat or a dog person. I've always wanted a malamute or a corgi - malamutes are BEAUTIFUL dogs and corgis are just ridiculously adorable - but Boyfriend and I have settled on a tortoiseshell kitty. Kitty! Woo!
56. Calico, tuxedo, and tortoiseshell are my favorite breeds of cats.
57. Friends are my favorite breed of people
58. I'm guilty of telling stupid jokes. Often.
59. I'm just a glistening ray of sunshine and I shit rainbows and vomit glitter. So, I guess I'm Ke$ha, I just can't sing or dance and I'm not famous at all anymore. OH WELL I'M FINE WITH THAT
60. I can sleep anywhere. Anywhere. Having moved from the middle of the city to the middle of nowhere, and having a wide array of couches, floors, and beds during that time, I can sleep anywhere from a concrete floor listening to people outside yelling and the traffic going BEEP BEEP, to the middle of the forest in complete silence.
61. I get sad whenever I'm talking to someone and they take forever to reply, or reply with 'oh' or something because I automatically think Oh no, I'm bothering them, they hate me now and always always always will forever.
62. Whenever I see flashing/strobing lights, I hear sounds. They make pretty music sometimes. I like pretty music.
63. I'm horribly terrified of my grandmother's driving.
64. Whenever someone says something along the lines of 'I'm blind as a bat' I have to step in and say bitch, bats aren't blind mothafucka get your facts straight and then I look like a douche.
65. I believe that all people who speak English as their first language and butcher it horribly need to have their breeding licenses revoked.
66. I wish there was such a thing as a breeding license.
67. Yes, I have IBS, but that doesn't mean you should try and piss me off to make me sick. That doesn't mean you stress me out to make me sick. Yes, stressing me out makes me ill, but you trying to do so is just...stupid. Stop it. Stop it.
68. No, you don't wish you had cluster headaches. They're painful as fuck and they're nothing like a normal migraine, so fuck off. It's not fun.
69. I do really bad photosherps in my spare time. I find them hilarious.
So, here goes.
1. Sometimes, I'll feel like I don't deserve what I have, especially my friends, and Boyfriend. I'll feel like I'm only a burden to them and that I'm only bringing them down.
2. I try too hard sometimes. Way too hard.
3. A lot of the time, I come off as a huge dick, because I don't always think about what I say, before I say it.
4. I'm incredibly snarky and sarcastic, and sometimes hurt people because of that; all because I don't know how to make it obvious that I'm joking. Again, I come off as a huge dick.
5. Unless I'm told otherwise by people, I feel, well, worthless; however, that is only whenever Boyfriend isn't around for me to talk to.
6. Friends make me feel loved, yes, but Boyfriend is the only one that can cheer me up with a single message, even if I don't show it.
7. I used to be really, really incredibly awkward about PDA, but Boyfriend helped me defeat that feeling the first time we were out in public...a theme park - Hershey Park.
8. I feel as if I talk about certain subjects way too much; however, there are very few things I'm interested in enough or know enough about to hold a conversation, so many of my 'friendships' either don't get that close, or usually fail.
9. I'm a grammar nazi.
10. Despite what people may think, I'm not an emotionless bastard. I don't cry over everything, but I also don't let things whiz by without a second thought.
11. There have been nights where I've cried nonstop and gone to school the next day without any sleep.
12. I have severe insomnia on occasion, so there's often times where I go on only a few hours sleep for a couple of days, or go on with none for maybe two or three, until I pass out from exhaustion.
13. I have never really said 'I love you' to anyone before Boyfriend without meaning it with all of my heart and soul. That sounds sappy, but...
14. Mike is my everything, and always will be.
15. There are times when I think that everyone except Boyfriend is mad at me, no matter what anyone says.
16. In all of my past relationships, I was cheated on, ignored, etc. until they got 'tired' of me and threw me away. And despite all of those things, I moved on.
17. I've found someone who says he will never let me go...and I believe him.
18. People saying that you 'can't find someone through the internet' kinda disappoint me in a way. I can't say how or why, but I'm just all 'okay'.
19. I once had a friend that believed because we were best friends that we were 'dating'. Needless to say, her 'ex' (as in, who had just broken up with her days before) girlfriend got pissy and threatened to kill herself unless she got her 'gf' back. And I was like, lolwat.
20. I'm actually quite terrified of having to go to the gynecologist. No one should ever see that place unless it's Boyfriend in the future, or it's an emergency. I guess I'm more afraid of having a guy gyno than a female.
21. I tend to swear a lot, even though I don't mean to. It just...happens.
22. I'm a huge pervert at times, always pointing out what could be resembling anything sexual at all in any way. Also, 'that's what he/she said' jokes abound.
23. People who say 'I miss my friend but can't say hi' disappoint me to a certain extent, too. You can't say hi? What are you, mute? Just walk up to them and say hi. If they don't respond, say it again, or just leave them alone and try again later. Who knows? They may just be busy, especially if they're working on something.
24. Sometimes I get into moods and will write for hours, only to delete and/or throw away poems, stories, etc. because I feel like they're too 'revealing', in a sense.
25. When I'm happy, I may actually come off as sad, which really hurts me, because I don't want people feeling like I'm sad and that they can't help when they do help.
26. I absolutely hate my voice and laugh. I know that your voice sounds different to other people than it does to you, but really.
27. I don't always tell people how much they mean to me, because I'm really bad at doing so, except for with Boyfriend; but rest assured, I love you. If you're my friend, I love you, and thank you.
28. People who call anyone who has any love for animals at all, or who has ever dressed like or drawn and animal before a 'furry' ruffle my feathers, so to speak. If you're going to label someone, do it right.
29. Sometimes I'll cry whenever I'm happy. However, I'm not sure if people believe me whenever I tell them it's because I'm happy, not sad.
30. Whenever I hear to a song that I used to listen to a lot (either wanted or not) as a younger kid, or as a kid in general, I'll sometimes get sad or teary because I miss being a kid and not having to worry so much.
31. Unlike most teenagers, I want to have kids at some point.
32. I'm always scared I'm going to do or say something stupid and lose one or more of my friends.
33. I hate arguing with my friends over stupid things that don't really matter, but because of my more competitive kinda nature, I don't tend to drop things easily, which makes me feel like an ass.
34. Sometimes, I feel like I'm legitimately not wanted by my family. Sounds like a stereotypical teenage thing, but after having two fathers leave me as a small child, and both of them being abusive, along with a mother who normally doesn't speak to me unless it's important to her or she needs something done, then, well, yeah.
35. I can honestly say I no longer have a brother; unless he decides to stop being a 'rebel' and all that shit, he's pretty much dead to me, especially since he's a douche who only wants to pick fights with people.
36. Whenever I'm sick, I want to fight things out; I hate taking medication because it upsets my stomach.
37. I have dreams that make me wonder about the sanity of my psyche.
38. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it on my own in life.
39. I want to be a teacher, and an illustrator. However, I have no idea what I want to do for sure, because I'd also enjoy being a mental therapist, or an engineer.
40. I have a bunch of self-esteem and self-image issues. I often think I'm fat.
41. Guilty of playing The Game.
42. Guilty of using memes in the real world.
43. Guilty of disliking brownies to a certain extent because of the moist richness. I have a weird gag reflex with everything but brownies and cake make it horribly bad. herp redundancy
44. Whenever someone's upset, I feel like it's my fault.
45. If someone close to me gets sad, I get scared. I'm not entirely sure why.
46. Whenever I got my period, my mom didn't know for a few months, because I never told her, and I had my own bathroom; she never checked the cans.
47. I love zombies. If I could acquire a pet zombie, I'd do it. As long as it didn't bite.
48. I am very prone to panic attacks, especially whenever I'm in a hospital. Kind of ironic.
49. I get angry whenever someone makes an announcement 'I'm grounded' or something and then complains about it. You did something wrong, and you got caught. Do you expect to be rewarded? No, fuck you. You got what you deserve.
50. I support homosexual marriage and rights.
51. I am a feminist, but not a feminazi. That's insane. Everyone should have equal rights, in my eyes; at least adults.
52. I love the smell of coffee, but I don't enjoy the taste. However, I don't mind black coffee very much (but it hates me).
53. I love the smell of cigars, but have never smoked; don't plan to anyway. I need money for vidya gaems, computer, and more importantly, boyfriend.
54. I find it odd when people claim to 'love all animals equally' and then claim to be a 'dog person' or a 'cat person', or say how ugly some animal is and that they hate it. Bitch, please. You don't love all animals equally.
55. On that last point, I'm neither a cat or a dog person. I've always wanted a malamute or a corgi - malamutes are BEAUTIFUL dogs and corgis are just ridiculously adorable - but Boyfriend and I have settled on a tortoiseshell kitty. Kitty! Woo!
56. Calico, tuxedo, and tortoiseshell are my favorite breeds of cats.
57. Friends are my favorite breed of people
58. I'm guilty of telling stupid jokes. Often.
59. I'm just a glistening ray of sunshine and I shit rainbows and vomit glitter. So, I guess I'm Ke$ha, I just can't sing or dance and I'm not famous at all anymore. OH WELL I'M FINE WITH THAT
60. I can sleep anywhere. Anywhere. Having moved from the middle of the city to the middle of nowhere, and having a wide array of couches, floors, and beds during that time, I can sleep anywhere from a concrete floor listening to people outside yelling and the traffic going BEEP BEEP, to the middle of the forest in complete silence.
61. I get sad whenever I'm talking to someone and they take forever to reply, or reply with 'oh' or something because I automatically think Oh no, I'm bothering them, they hate me now and always always always will forever.
62. Whenever I see flashing/strobing lights, I hear sounds. They make pretty music sometimes. I like pretty music.
63. I'm horribly terrified of my grandmother's driving.
64. Whenever someone says something along the lines of 'I'm blind as a bat' I have to step in and say bitch, bats aren't blind mothafucka get your facts straight and then I look like a douche.
65. I believe that all people who speak English as their first language and butcher it horribly need to have their breeding licenses revoked.
66. I wish there was such a thing as a breeding license.
67. Yes, I have IBS, but that doesn't mean you should try and piss me off to make me sick. That doesn't mean you stress me out to make me sick. Yes, stressing me out makes me ill, but you trying to do so is just...stupid. Stop it. Stop it.
68. No, you don't wish you had cluster headaches. They're painful as fuck and they're nothing like a normal migraine, so fuck off. It's not fun.
69. I do really bad photosherps in my spare time. I find them hilarious.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Tree giraffes, Lady Gaga, Charlie Barkin and Santa, and My Little Pony
I swear, every time I go to sleep, I have a strange dream. Even if I don't remember them, I have a strange dream. There's absolutely nothing that I can think of that would have any effect on me, there's just...nothing I can think of that I've been doing, that I've eaten or drank, and since I don't do drugs or drink or smoke or anything like that, then that rules out just about everything. Plus I eat and drink different things and hardly ever right before I fall asleep so it just makes no sense.
Examples of said dreams:
Tree Giraffes
I've had a recurring dream ever since I was probably around 5-ish that makes me go wat. This dream consists of me being in my grandparents' kitchen at their old house in the middle of the woods, with my grandmother, making turkey and mashed potatoes. However, my brother was yelling for me so I was being a responsible bigger sister and ran out onto the carport, into part of the driveway, and to the left. Towards three trees kinda on the other side of the driveway area.
Examples of said dreams:
Tree Giraffes
I've had a recurring dream ever since I was probably around 5-ish that makes me go wat. This dream consists of me being in my grandparents' kitchen at their old house in the middle of the woods, with my grandmother, making turkey and mashed potatoes. However, my brother was yelling for me so I was being a responsible bigger sister and ran out onto the carport, into part of the driveway, and to the left. Towards three trees kinda on the other side of the driveway area.
Shown: shitty art depicting my travels towards the tree of giraffe
Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I then just kinda moseyed on over to that blue-circled tree on the left, and heard singing, so I stopped. Now, I'm pretty sure that most people who would be walking by a tree and heard singing would, well, get the fuck away from it if they were normal people, or weren't curious 5-year-olds. Anyway, I stopped, looked over, bent the branches back a little bit, and saw an entire goddamned rainforest inside of that tree, complete with waterfalls. And then three giraffes stuck their heads out from around those branches on the inside and started singing.
And of course five year old me acts like this is completely normal and keeps walking, around those trees because I hear noises. So I...keep walking, and soon see my brother and grandfather throwing rocks at a little hill/embankment thing near the shed.
I really didn't know what the bloody fuck they were doing so I just kinda stood there, and then that dragon magician lady from Sleeping Beauty (Disney version) and she flew up into the sky, as a dragon thing, but not really into the sky just...she was still kinda in the ground I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE, SHUT UP but then she damned us all to hell or something then I ate mashed potatoes and then woke up. What.
Charlie Barkin and Santa
Charlie Barkin and Santa
Also had a dream that had me at a beachhouse for my friend's birthday party, I went to use the bathroom and was washing my hands when the smaller wall to the left of me with the window just...dropped, and Charlie Barkin was driving Santa's sleigh and was like LOL LET'S GO and I was just all LOL, OK and I didn't question anything. But we flew through the clouds back to wherever the hell is it Charlie goes and it was pretty awesome. Itchy was there too.
Lady Gaga
And while I'm typing all of these dreams up, I can't possibly leave out the one that involved Lady Gaga. No, of course not, because that would be ridiculous. Anyway. I was working putting on masks on these headthings that were in drawers - keep in mind, I was outside, and it kinda felt like that cemetery in Left 4 Dead 2, but the drawers were all in rows and shit and I was between a forest and a highway - whenever I was thinking shit, shit I NEED to get this done before something BAD happens and I had no idea what that 'bad' thing was, but then something exploded and I was just like fuck.
So I'm standing there looking around and Lady Gaga drives up in this...van/truck thing and is like GET IN and I'm just all UH, OKAY so I get in and she's telling me all about what's happening and I'm not paying attention because I'm holding a guitar and I had no idea how it got there. So a Jamaican man suddenly pops up behind us in the truck (kinda like a prison truck thing, or an ambulance) and he just says GIMME 'THA GEETAH, MAHN and I'm just staring at him so Lady Gaga looks over to me while we're driving down this highway and is like GIVE THE MAN THE GUITAR so I did and he starts playing heavy metal rock and then reggae music on an acoustic guitar how does that work? I don't know
Anyway the man is playing reggae, Gaga is driving and I'm sitting in the passenger's seat just trying to figure out exactly what the flying fuck is going on. However, we're driving down this highway (which is surrounded by trees for some reason) and there's like...other highways on bridges crisscrossing above us with giant dogs like those regular-sized ones from Silent Hill were jumping off of them onto OUR road trying to get us. And there were soldiers running out of the forest shooting guns and then getting mauled and killed by these dogs.
Lady Gaga is wearing her headpiece from Telephone's sandwich making scene and she's ripping off chunks of it and throwing them and they're grenades. Oh, and it regenerates the pieces she ripped off. So I was just all wat.
Anyway the man is playing reggae, Gaga is driving and I'm sitting in the passenger's seat just trying to figure out exactly what the flying fuck is going on. However, we're driving down this highway (which is surrounded by trees for some reason) and there's like...other highways on bridges crisscrossing above us with giant dogs like those regular-sized ones from Silent Hill were jumping off of them onto OUR road trying to get us. And there were soldiers running out of the forest shooting guns and then getting mauled and killed by these dogs.
Lady Gaga is wearing her headpiece from Telephone's sandwich making scene and she's ripping off chunks of it and throwing them and they're grenades. Oh, and it regenerates the pieces she ripped off. So I was just all wat.
Anyway she decides to stop at this one place in the woods (somehow we went from driving on a highway to driving offroad through a clearing in the woods) and well, we stop and all that and we have to choose Pokémon. I had a Mightyena and Luxray, Gaga had a Jynx and Milotic, and Jamaican guy had a Charmeleon, and his guitar.
So then we fought our way up the top of Mercy Hospital from Left 4 Dead with our Pokemon, and then I woke up. That dream was wonderful.
So then we fought our way up the top of Mercy Hospital from Left 4 Dead with our Pokemon, and then I woke up. That dream was wonderful.
My Little Pony
Last night, I had a dream that I worked in a bakery and was making cakes; however, everyone believed that 'simple cakes that are only one color and flavor' like 'vanilla with white frosting' or 'chocolate with chocolate frosting' or 'lemon with lemon frosting' are the only acceptable ways to make a cake.
However, I was a rebel and made a My Little Pony cake, complete with a blueish main color, cloudy things around the edges, a standing Twilight Sparkle and hovering Rainbow Dash, and a rainbow that actually shone. Keep in mind, those things were all STANDING on the cake; but they were made out of cake and nothing else. They were just...what.
Anyway.
I have weird dreams.
Anyway.
I have weird dreams.
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