Okay so in the morning I walk into school. Obviously. And I go to my locker. Again, obviously. And Best Friend is always there, yet again, obviously unless she happens to not be there which isn't very often but whatever. And given that today is April Fool's Day - possibly a day I find more obnoxious than any other simply because people are shit at practical jokes - Best Friend tried to get me.
Horribly.
Best Friend: I have AIDS.
*pause*
Me: I believe it.
Then Best Friend told me she hated me, called me a dick and then we went and talked about how shitty today is because yesterday felt like Friday so today is just blargh and we don't want to do anything.
Also I'm currently at lunch. Maybe I'll sign into Skype, I don't know. Maybe I'll get around to it.
Anyway.
Another day halfway over, about.
Awesome.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Snow
Here's when it was snowing at my house around 5PMEST today:
Here it is around 5:10:
5:25-5:30ish:
And here it is an hour or so ago:
My flowers are going to die. Wunderbar. Some of them died a little while ago because Mother Nature decided to throw some frost at us for a big 'fuck you'. So...they died. Sad day. :C
Anyway
what the fuck, mother nature
what the fuck
I hope you all enjoyed my rendition of 'What the Fuck, Mother Nature - Sincerely, a Confused Student' but you've probably had enough of seeing one small shot of a fence and part of my yard and back porch so
here
have a cat on a blanket:
His name is Sam and he likes to eat rotisserie chicken. I don't blame him because that shit is fucking delicious but he steals from me. But it's okay. Because he's adorable. Only my cats and Boyfriend can take food from me...
pictured: retarded, derpy Sugarfaec attempting to steal my bed from me while I am in it
...because they're adorable
And you've all lost the game.
the end
It's snowing
why
I mean, this has happened before, on July 4th even, but
That was years ago
why is this happening
and don't go all weather-smart-bullshit on me
THIS JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT WAS LIKE 65-70 YESTERDAY
I mean, this has happened before, on July 4th even, but
That was years ago
why is this happening
and don't go all weather-smart-bullshit on me
THIS JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT WAS LIKE 65-70 YESTERDAY
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
so today some kid pulled out a cigarette
...in the middle of English class. And smoked it. Granted it was one of those fancy-dangled 'fake' ones that somehow still taste/feel the same but seriously? Why would you do that. why
I get that you may have an addiction, but...in class? Kid this isn't college. This is high school. And even though we're in a smallpunk town in the middle of nofuck nowhere but for some reason everyone fucking knows who we are doesn't mean that you can try and pull that shit. We may live in a small-town ghetto, but we're not in Pittsburgh. We're not in the ghetto. We're not the Pitts.
Just because we live in a world-popular town doesn't mean you can get away with smoking that shit in school. Living here does not make you 'awesome'. It means you're alive so stop it
So every now and then the kid would whip around to the left, hunch over, and I'd hear a HFFFFFFFNNNNNNNFFFFFFGGG sound that could effectively be compared to an asthmatic seal with its head stuck in a 3/4 full oil bin slowly suffocating to death. Which, you know, most smokers sound like anyways, but this kid is only 17. At the most. And you really shouldn't be addicted to that shit at SEVENTEEN but then again I'm an anti-social freak so what do I know
ANYWAY I don't know what surprised me more; the fact that he did this in the middle of class, or the fact that he hadn't been caught all day, especially by the teacher of the class we were in. He was making sounds so loud it sounded like an air conditioner fucked a seizure-prone vacuum, had a baby, and the baby had a child with a shihtzu pug mix and their baby suffered from epilepsy from the goddamned sun and went into fits whenever the air pressure changed or wind shifted.
that's what he sounded like
Just imagine it.
imagine
Anyway this happened multiple times throughout the period. Not just two or three times, but I'm pretty sure I counted to at least ten. Hell, I can't tell anymore. I just know that the girl in front of him would start laughing her ass off each and every time that he did it and break the cold silence. Every single time.
And you know, whenever someone's doing something 'bad' in school I just sit there really, really awkwardly because you know, I'm the 'good' kid or something in school and...I never do anything. I just exist, breathe, and do my work. Sometimes talk. But mostly sit and work and breathe.
I've gotten really good at sitting and breathing. I can even do it without thinking, bitches.
Goddammit I keep getting off-track (here comes the train careening off of the cliff full of screaming koalas!) so, uh. I didn't turn him in. I wanted to, but then I'd feel weird. Turning in a Kid Cudi fan? Hell, no. I can't possibly make that poor child's life any worse. So I let him go. I just...
I didn't have the evil in me
plus, it smelled vaguely of cinnamon
I like cinnamon smells.
I get that you may have an addiction, but...in class? Kid this isn't college. This is high school. And even though we're in a smallpunk town in the middle of nofuck nowhere but for some reason everyone fucking knows who we are doesn't mean that you can try and pull that shit. We may live in a small-town ghetto, but we're not in Pittsburgh. We're not in the ghetto. We're not the Pitts.
Just because we live in a world-popular town doesn't mean you can get away with smoking that shit in school. Living here does not make you 'awesome'. It means you're alive so stop it
So every now and then the kid would whip around to the left, hunch over, and I'd hear a HFFFFFFFNNNNNNNFFFFFFGGG sound that could effectively be compared to an asthmatic seal with its head stuck in a 3/4 full oil bin slowly suffocating to death. Which, you know, most smokers sound like anyways, but this kid is only 17. At the most. And you really shouldn't be addicted to that shit at SEVENTEEN but then again I'm an anti-social freak so what do I know
ANYWAY I don't know what surprised me more; the fact that he did this in the middle of class, or the fact that he hadn't been caught all day, especially by the teacher of the class we were in. He was making sounds so loud it sounded like an air conditioner fucked a seizure-prone vacuum, had a baby, and the baby had a child with a shihtzu pug mix and their baby suffered from epilepsy from the goddamned sun and went into fits whenever the air pressure changed or wind shifted.
that's what he sounded like
Just imagine it.
imagine
Anyway this happened multiple times throughout the period. Not just two or three times, but I'm pretty sure I counted to at least ten. Hell, I can't tell anymore. I just know that the girl in front of him would start laughing her ass off each and every time that he did it and break the cold silence. Every single time.
And you know, whenever someone's doing something 'bad' in school I just sit there really, really awkwardly because you know, I'm the 'good' kid or something in school and...I never do anything. I just exist, breathe, and do my work. Sometimes talk. But mostly sit and work and breathe.
I've gotten really good at sitting and breathing. I can even do it without thinking, bitches.
Goddammit I keep getting off-track (here comes the train careening off of the cliff full of screaming koalas!) so, uh. I didn't turn him in. I wanted to, but then I'd feel weird. Turning in a Kid Cudi fan? Hell, no. I can't possibly make that poor child's life any worse. So I let him go. I just...
I didn't have the evil in me
plus, it smelled vaguely of cinnamon
I like cinnamon smells.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
you know what
why are you guys even following me
I never do or say anything interesting
really
actually I'm kidding so tell your friends about me and be sure to tell them I'm fuckin' hilarious or some shit like that
I don't know just advertise me
/publicity stunt
I never do or say anything interesting
really
actually I'm kidding so tell your friends about me and be sure to tell them I'm fuckin' hilarious or some shit like that
I don't know just advertise me
/publicity stunt
oh god another meme thing
1: Do You Sleep In Your Bra?
Rarely
2: Do You Wear Makeup Or Anything Related?
No
3: Are You Popular In Your School?
I wouldn't know, because I never pay attention.
4: How Many Boyfriends/Girlfriends Have You Had?
Uh. 3, before Boyfriend. Well, before Fiance. All of them cheated, though; two cheated on me with other girls and the other just...kinda cheated on me with games and all that. But, Fiance. <3
4: Be Honest, Do You Brush Your Hair Everyday?
Yes. Otherwise I feel absolutely disgusting. FffFFFFFDJLSKGKH
5: How Was Your First Real Kiss?
Special.
6: Do You Like Rock/Heavy Metal Music?
Sure
7: Are You Single/Taken/Happy/Sad
'Engaged'/Taken, and happier than I've ever been before.
8: Have You Ever Worn A Thong?
You will never, ever catch me wearing buttfloss. I wear boxers, usually.
9: Do You Play Video Games?
Yeah
10: Are you Scared Of Getting Your Hands Dirty?
No.
11: Are You Straight/Lesbian/BiSexual?
Straight
12: Have You Ever Had Sex?
No.
13: Do You Get Along With Most Boys?
Typically
14: Do You Have One Guy Friend You Can Tell Anything To?
Well, two. Boyfriend and Best Friend.
15: Have You Ever Kissed Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend In Public?
Yes. Many times. <XD <3
16: Do you Own A Bike?
Yes
16: Tell Me, Do You Have A Crush?
Nope, it's not a crush
17: Whats Your Biggest Secret Right Now?
Don't really have one
18: Who's Your Best Friend?
Mike, Jade, Ben, there's others too but I'm just so lazy
19: Do You Sleep With Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend At Night?
Whenever he's here. Which is only 60 more days until he is again /angst
20: Has Your biggest secret Ever Been Exposed?
No.
21: Are You Shy?
Sometimes
22: Do You Take A Dis-like To People Straight Away?
Eh, I try to give people chances.
23: Can You Be Trusted With Secrets?
Yeah
24: Whens Your Birthday?
January 5th
25: Whens Your's And Your Boyfriends/Girlfriends Anniversary? Or if Your Single, When Would You Like your Anniversary With Your love To Be On?
June 22nd, 2010
26: have You Ever Had To Ask Somebody Out Your Self?
Hell no, I'm always too awkward. I almost, almost dropped big hints to Boyfriend when he was just Best Friend, but I was too scared.
27: Have You Ever Told your Parents That you've Liked Somebody/Been In A Relation Ship?
Yeah, my mom was just like oh, ok, so when do I meet him? and I was like well you're going to because we're going to Hershey on August 21st and she was just oh. ok.
CRISIS AVERTED
28: Whats Your Idea Of A Good Date? Put An x In As Many Boxes You Like
[x] Have A Romantic Dinner - Sure.
[/] Play video Games - Eh, that's more of something to do in the spare time
[] Getting Drunk - I never plan to drink.
[x] Lying On The Sofa Hugging Your Other Half - <3
[] Sex - Sex is more of something that's not 'date' material. That's for a longer relationship.
29: Have You ever Done Anything Stupid In Front Of Your Crush/Girlfriend/Boyfriend
All the time. I'm a massive derp and I walk into walls/run into walls/fall into walls and Boyfriend's just like are the walls okay and I'm just like no, they died
30: Do You Think Any boys Will Do This meme?
Dunno
31: Have You Ever Had A Crush On Any Of Your Teachers At School?
No
32: Have You Ever Had A Proper Make Out with Your Crush/Girlfriend/Boyfriend?
...Maybe. >.>
33: Have You Ever stripped?
No.
34: Whats The First Thing You'll Do On Your Wedding Day?
Probably get sick from excitement and anxiousness, really. I'll love that day but it's going to be hell on my immune system from me being so excited. <XD
35: Do Some songs Turn You On?
Oh god lol what
oh wait, here.
36: Have You Ever Got Payed To Have sex/Kiss Somebody?
No.
37: Are You Obsessed With A Movie Star/Singer right Now?
RUSSELL BRAND OH GOD
38: Have You ever Pole Danced?
No.
39: Are You/Have You Dated Somebody From A Different Country Than You Before?
Yeah, I did once. Obviously that didn't work out. However, I'm still flying over there eventually to see a good friend of mine and maybe Boyfriend and I will meet up with him. I dunno.
Rarely
2: Do You Wear Makeup Or Anything Related?
No
3: Are You Popular In Your School?
I wouldn't know, because I never pay attention.
4: How Many Boyfriends/Girlfriends Have You Had?
Uh. 3, before Boyfriend. Well, before Fiance. All of them cheated, though; two cheated on me with other girls and the other just...kinda cheated on me with games and all that. But, Fiance. <3
4: Be Honest, Do You Brush Your Hair Everyday?
Yes. Otherwise I feel absolutely disgusting. FffFFFFFDJLSKGKH
5: How Was Your First Real Kiss?
Special.
6: Do You Like Rock/Heavy Metal Music?
Sure
7: Are You Single/Taken/Happy/Sad
'Engaged'/Taken, and happier than I've ever been before.
8: Have You Ever Worn A Thong?
You will never, ever catch me wearing buttfloss. I wear boxers, usually.
9: Do You Play Video Games?
Yeah
10: Are you Scared Of Getting Your Hands Dirty?
No.
11: Are You Straight/Lesbian/BiSexual?
Straight
12: Have You Ever Had Sex?
No.
13: Do You Get Along With Most Boys?
Typically
14: Do You Have One Guy Friend You Can Tell Anything To?
Well, two. Boyfriend and Best Friend.
15: Have You Ever Kissed Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend In Public?
Yes. Many times. <XD <3
16: Do you Own A Bike?
Yes
16: Tell Me, Do You Have A Crush?
Nope, it's not a crush
17: Whats Your Biggest Secret Right Now?
Don't really have one
18: Who's Your Best Friend?
Mike, Jade, Ben, there's others too but I'm just so lazy
19: Do You Sleep With Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend At Night?
Whenever he's here. Which is only 60 more days until he is again /angst
20: Has Your biggest secret Ever Been Exposed?
No.
21: Are You Shy?
Sometimes
22: Do You Take A Dis-like To People Straight Away?
Eh, I try to give people chances.
23: Can You Be Trusted With Secrets?
Yeah
24: Whens Your Birthday?
January 5th
25: Whens Your's And Your Boyfriends/Girlfriends Anniversary? Or if Your Single, When Would You Like your Anniversary With Your love To Be On?
June 22nd, 2010
26: have You Ever Had To Ask Somebody Out Your Self?
Hell no, I'm always too awkward. I almost, almost dropped big hints to Boyfriend when he was just Best Friend, but I was too scared.
27: Have You Ever Told your Parents That you've Liked Somebody/Been In A Relation Ship?
Yeah, my mom was just like oh, ok, so when do I meet him? and I was like well you're going to because we're going to Hershey on August 21st and she was just oh. ok.
CRISIS AVERTED
28: Whats Your Idea Of A Good Date? Put An x In As Many Boxes You Like
[x] Have A Romantic Dinner - Sure.
[/] Play video Games - Eh, that's more of something to do in the spare time
[] Getting Drunk - I never plan to drink.
[x] Lying On The Sofa Hugging Your Other Half - <3
[] Sex - Sex is more of something that's not 'date' material. That's for a longer relationship.
29: Have You ever Done Anything Stupid In Front Of Your Crush/Girlfriend/Boyfriend
All the time. I'm a massive derp and I walk into walls/run into walls/fall into walls and Boyfriend's just like are the walls okay and I'm just like no, they died
30: Do You Think Any boys Will Do This meme?
Dunno
31: Have You Ever Had A Crush On Any Of Your Teachers At School?
No
32: Have You Ever Had A Proper Make Out with Your Crush/Girlfriend/Boyfriend?
...Maybe. >.>
33: Have You Ever stripped?
No.
34: Whats The First Thing You'll Do On Your Wedding Day?
Probably get sick from excitement and anxiousness, really. I'll love that day but it's going to be hell on my immune system from me being so excited. <XD
35: Do Some songs Turn You On?
Oh god lol what
oh wait, here.
36: Have You Ever Got Payed To Have sex/Kiss Somebody?
No.
37: Are You Obsessed With A Movie Star/Singer right Now?
RUSSELL BRAND OH GOD
38: Have You ever Pole Danced?
No.
39: Are You/Have You Dated Somebody From A Different Country Than You Before?
Yeah, I did once. Obviously that didn't work out. However, I'm still flying over there eventually to see a good friend of mine and maybe Boyfriend and I will meet up with him. I dunno.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
This is probably why I don't have many female friends (or friends in general)
Anyone who knows me even remotely should know I have a little bit of a problem 'befriending' anyone that I haven't been exposed to before through friend-of-friend contact; and even then I have a hard time growing attached to anyone. Especially if the person I'm supposed to 'befriend' happens to be a person of the female variety.
I've come up with several reasons for this.
With girls, there's a huge list. It probably starts with the fact I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone of the female gender in general except I have a vagina and leak blood from it more or less every month. Obviously there are exceptions, but those exceptions are few in number. I don't even wear girly clothing. There's no way that shit would ever be allowed on my body, ever. The only exception would be a dress at my private wedding, or possibly prom. Otherwise I'm wearing a tuxedo to all formal occassions, like I've done all the years past.
The girliest things I own are my bras and some frilly panties that I don't even know why I own them, seriously. But they're South Park so it balances them out, right? Right? Other than a few pairs of said frillinesses, I wear boxers. Yes, guys' boxers. They're roomy, comfortable, and don't get all up in your business like female underwear does. Only exception to wearing those is during shark week, that's it.
Nearly all females I'll attempt to talk to try to get me to wear a dress, put on makeup, wear other girly clothes or...have sex. Yes, girls have tried to talk me into having sex with Boyfriend because it's 'normal'. I'll come back to that later. Just thinking of that fills me with so much what is this i dont even that I really have no idea what to say at the moment.
The other thing? Girls, for the most part, are back-stabbing daughters 'o wenches. All the time I hear about Girl A back-stabbing Girl B by...doing something completely retarded. 'A broke a promise to B, and went out with B's ex, even though B is totally over him she's really jealous' is something I hear a hell of a lot. If...if you're over someone...you shouldn't care if someone dates said person you're over. Hell, be happy for them. You don't have to, but you don't have to be a dick about it either. The person isn't 'yours' anymore. You don't control their actions or thoughts and you never have and never will.
Or. Or. Or. They tell a person they barely know a superomgsecret and then, well, obviously, the person they told tells someone else. Because they're not your friend so you shouldn't trust them. There are some times when there's stuff you shouldn't even tell your best friend. So why in the hell would you tell someone who barely know? Telling someone you barely know a secret and then flipping the fuck out whenever they spread it - you know, like people tend to do, especially in high school - isn't 'backstabbing'. Sure, it's kinda rude, but it's to be expected. If you don't expect that, you're retarded.
Okay. That last bit was a horrible example but I'm pretty sure you know what I mean.
Anyway, going back to the things I listed earlier; if you're my friend, you won't try and change me or what I do, unless it's hurting me or someone else in some way. Telling me to 'stop drawing' because you think of it as 'childish' and that it'll 'never help you [me] get anywhere in life' does not make me want to be your friend. You know what it does? It makes me want to punch you in the face.
And trying to...force me to have sex. What. Just...what. How does that even make sense? I really don't understand.
Okay, so you and your boyfriend are having sex? Good for you, but don't try to bring me and Boyfriend in on it saying I'll be 'less stressed' if we have sex.
Last time I checked, I'm a severely paranoid fuck. If I had sex now, when I haven't even graduated high school yet, and Boyfriend hasn't even moved so much as closer to me, or in with me, then why would I have sex? I'm going to be freaking out thinking I could be pregnant the first time it happens, which will stress me the hell out. If I'm going to have a pregnancy scare, I'd rather it not be while I'm in school - especially high school. I'm already stressed out enough and I always seem sad or pissy even when I'm perfectly fine because of that stress. I don't need to add the fear of pregnancy to that.
Seriously.
And with guys? Okay, I can usually befriend guys more easily than I can the girlies. However...
Guys are more likely to be dicks. Which means they're more likely to be the ones talking about kicking eachothers' asses when it never happened in the first place, or just generally being rude.
That, or they're massive perverts and don't try to control themselves. I've had massive problems with this in the past because, hello, fellas, if you've a girlfriend then stop checking out other women and love your girlfriend. You picked her. If you want someone else, then let her go so she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. Jesus.
And a combination of the first two; m- no, wait, boys- often think that 'friends' means 'sex'. Um, no. Last time I checked, friends means friends and not 'sleeping together'. Because sleeping together is what a couple does.
Not to mention, many guys don't want a serious relationship. Which can be okay. HOWEVER, that apparently means they can go out and bang as many women as they want and think they don't have to suffer the consequences if they get one or more women pregnant. They try and run away. Especially the teenagers; but I've seen this happen with guys of all ages.
There are very few guys who aren't dicks. There are also very few that aren't extremely perverted to the point where if they see a girl they get a raging hardon and try to pound the nearest thing with a pulse until it has a pulse no longer.
Oh god I totally lost the point of this post
I've been awake since 2
2
cut me some slack
I've come up with several reasons for this.
With girls, there's a huge list. It probably starts with the fact I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone of the female gender in general except I have a vagina and leak blood from it more or less every month. Obviously there are exceptions, but those exceptions are few in number. I don't even wear girly clothing. There's no way that shit would ever be allowed on my body, ever. The only exception would be a dress at my private wedding, or possibly prom. Otherwise I'm wearing a tuxedo to all formal occassions, like I've done all the years past.
The girliest things I own are my bras and some frilly panties that I don't even know why I own them, seriously. But they're South Park so it balances them out, right? Right? Other than a few pairs of said frillinesses, I wear boxers. Yes, guys' boxers. They're roomy, comfortable, and don't get all up in your business like female underwear does. Only exception to wearing those is during shark week, that's it.
Nearly all females I'll attempt to talk to try to get me to wear a dress, put on makeup, wear other girly clothes or...have sex. Yes, girls have tried to talk me into having sex with Boyfriend because it's 'normal'. I'll come back to that later. Just thinking of that fills me with so much what is this i dont even that I really have no idea what to say at the moment.
The other thing? Girls, for the most part, are back-stabbing daughters 'o wenches. All the time I hear about Girl A back-stabbing Girl B by...doing something completely retarded. 'A broke a promise to B, and went out with B's ex, even though B is totally over him she's really jealous' is something I hear a hell of a lot. If...if you're over someone...you shouldn't care if someone dates said person you're over. Hell, be happy for them. You don't have to, but you don't have to be a dick about it either. The person isn't 'yours' anymore. You don't control their actions or thoughts and you never have and never will.
Or. Or. Or. They tell a person they barely know a superomgsecret and then, well, obviously, the person they told tells someone else. Because they're not your friend so you shouldn't trust them. There are some times when there's stuff you shouldn't even tell your best friend. So why in the hell would you tell someone who barely know? Telling someone you barely know a secret and then flipping the fuck out whenever they spread it - you know, like people tend to do, especially in high school - isn't 'backstabbing'. Sure, it's kinda rude, but it's to be expected. If you don't expect that, you're retarded.
Okay. That last bit was a horrible example but I'm pretty sure you know what I mean.
Anyway, going back to the things I listed earlier; if you're my friend, you won't try and change me or what I do, unless it's hurting me or someone else in some way. Telling me to 'stop drawing' because you think of it as 'childish' and that it'll 'never help you [me] get anywhere in life' does not make me want to be your friend. You know what it does? It makes me want to punch you in the face.
And trying to...force me to have sex. What. Just...what. How does that even make sense? I really don't understand.
Okay, so you and your boyfriend are having sex? Good for you, but don't try to bring me and Boyfriend in on it saying I'll be 'less stressed' if we have sex.
Last time I checked, I'm a severely paranoid fuck. If I had sex now, when I haven't even graduated high school yet, and Boyfriend hasn't even moved so much as closer to me, or in with me, then why would I have sex? I'm going to be freaking out thinking I could be pregnant the first time it happens, which will stress me the hell out. If I'm going to have a pregnancy scare, I'd rather it not be while I'm in school - especially high school. I'm already stressed out enough and I always seem sad or pissy even when I'm perfectly fine because of that stress. I don't need to add the fear of pregnancy to that.
Seriously.
And with guys? Okay, I can usually befriend guys more easily than I can the girlies. However...
Guys are more likely to be dicks. Which means they're more likely to be the ones talking about kicking eachothers' asses when it never happened in the first place, or just generally being rude.
That, or they're massive perverts and don't try to control themselves. I've had massive problems with this in the past because, hello, fellas, if you've a girlfriend then stop checking out other women and love your girlfriend. You picked her. If you want someone else, then let her go so she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. Jesus.
And a combination of the first two; m- no, wait, boys- often think that 'friends' means 'sex'. Um, no. Last time I checked, friends means friends and not 'sleeping together'. Because sleeping together is what a couple does.
Not to mention, many guys don't want a serious relationship. Which can be okay. HOWEVER, that apparently means they can go out and bang as many women as they want and think they don't have to suffer the consequences if they get one or more women pregnant. They try and run away. Especially the teenagers; but I've seen this happen with guys of all ages.
There are very few guys who aren't dicks. There are also very few that aren't extremely perverted to the point where if they see a girl they get a raging hardon and try to pound the nearest thing with a pulse until it has a pulse no longer.
Oh god I totally lost the point of this post
I've been awake since 2
2
cut me some slack
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