Thursday, January 30, 2014
Oh god another one.
1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
Ehhhh, I guess? Along with being in a long term relationship, I also have some more-than-friends feelings for some people, but they're not really "crushes". It's more like "I want to be super close to you and be able to be super weird and lovey and shit without freaking you out" kind of thing. Like. Best friends leveled up. Or something. I've wanted to tell them but at the same time, I don't want to make things awkward, weird, etc. or have them take it the wrong way. Mike understands though and he's completely okay with it which is great.
2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
Yeah, twice. The first time was with my ex -- I believed I was really in love and I suppose I was. I did love him with all of my heart. When he left me (even though he had been "trailing off" in the relationship for a few months, to where I was almost "over it" by the time it happened) a little piece of me died. A bit later I got together with my current boyfriend and it's like he gave a little piece back to fit where the other went missing. I feel like every love you have takes a bit away, and each one gives a little bit as well. You're always with one another even if you're no longer together, in a sense.
3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?
My current one. It will be four years in June, 2014.
4: Have you ever changed for someone?
I am working on changing. I have a very, very bad anger issue along with severe depression, severe anxiety, and paranoia (amongst other issues). My anger and jealousy is what I'm working on -- I tend to snap over small things and though it's usually in response to what he does, it doesn't make it okay and it doesn't make anything better. He freaks out when he thinks I'm angry at him so he gets defensive. We're both working on things. We want to be together for the long run so it's necessary we do this.
5: How is your relationship with your ex?
Eh, decent? I haven't talked to him for a few months
6: Have you ever been cheated on?
Ehhhhh, yeah. Twice. And that is why I no longer have contact with those people. Neither were serious relationships, but I did have some form of lovey feelings for them. I'm not assuming that they didn't return those feelings, but they certainly did things that I will never forgive them for. My first "boyfriend" and my first "girlfriend" both cheated.
7: Have you ever cheated?
No.
8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
No. Why put myself in a position that I know will only bring hurt?
9: What's the most important part of a relationship?
Trust and communication. If you can't communicate with one another you may as well break up because things will most definitely get bad as soon as you start to have issues with one another in any way, shape, or form. Trust you need because there will be times when you aren't together. You cannot (feasibly) be together 24/7 (I mean I suppose you could but holy fuck) so...yeah. If you're going to think that your spouse/SO is cheating on you every time they leave your sight, why are you even bothering staying with them? You're only hurting you both, especially if you accuse them.
10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Serious.
11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
Ehhh...breaking up for a short period of time? In all honesty, no. I don't believe in doing it. I would personally never go on a "break", because to me it feels like they're testing the waters with someone else to see how it'll go before completely breaking up with me -- therefore keeping me on the line. Now, taking time apart to be alone a bit, but still being in a relationship? Hell yeah. I know that as much as I love Mike I don't want to be around him literally all of the time. I need me time, too.
12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
I've never hooked up lmao
13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
Not telling him I loved him more often. Not telling him how much he means to me. How much he still means to me and how much I still love him (albeit no longer in a romantic way). I wish we could be closer again because he's wonderful, but I would completely understand his reasons for not wanting to (if there are any).
14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
My honest opinion? When you're a legal adult. 18. I haven't even had sex yet and I'm a few years older than that. Maybe it's because I'm apathetically asexual, or just old-timey, but...yeh. Most legal adults don't even understand the risks and implications of sex. Throwing some teenage horomones into the mix isn't making anything any better. But hey, if you want to do it, you can, but just be sure to keep yourself SAFE, use a condom, birth control pill, etc etc. Don't rely on the pull-out method or think "I don't need to be careful, it won't happen to me". You're an idiot if you think it won't happen to you. Also, get tested for STDs/have your partner get tested if you've had multiple partners and think something is wrong. Basically, fucking educate yourself before doing anything. And last of all -- make sure you actually want to do it. Don't do it because they want you to. Don't do it because you're afraid they'll leave you if you don't. That isn't okay and you're better off without them if that's how it's going to be.
15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
Eh. Yes and no. Typically relationships with huge age gaps don't work because there is a very very steep maturity difference and to be honest I kind of question it whenever I see a 25 year old dating, say, a 16 year old. I can't think of many things that they could have in common because they are in totally different stages of their lives. To those who have had that work out for them, though: good for you. I just know I wouldn't date someone more than a few years my senior or junior.
16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
No -- I mean -- you can love how someone acts and looks by watching them but that doesn't mean you know the true person behind that face. In order to really love someone, you need to get to know them.
17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
Oh, definitely. I met both my ex and my current boyfriend online. Both were/are wonderful relationships. I'm still with my current boyfriend (obviously lmao) and we moved in together in the summer of 2013. We're in our own apartment and things are going rather well.
18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
Homophobia, transphobia, bible-thumper, racism, being an asshole, being allergic to dogs and/or cats (I have to have animals -- they're a security thing for my anxiety and I'm just an animal lover), hatred of any group of people in general
19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Whenever you don't have feelings or don't think your declining amount of feelings can be saved. Don't drag something on if you don't want to put work into fixing it or don't think it can be fixed. Also, if you're screaming at and hitting one another every damn day (or hitting ever, really, unless you're into that, but that's different) it's either time for a breakup or some professional help.
20: Are you currently in a relationship?
Dammit I've only mentioned that several fucking times. Yes.
21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
Definitely! My ex and I are still friends, though we don't talk too often anymore.
22: Do you think people should date their friends?
Hahah I'd be a fucking hypocrite if I said no. All of my exes have been my friends at some point in time. Some just worked out better than others.
23: How many relationships have you had?
Eh, well. It's kind of hard to judge. I consider myself to have had two "real" relationships, one "serious" relationship, and two short-term relationships that were there just to...be there? I guess? To test the waters. I was pretty young whenever those happened so I can't say they were super-serious but they did help me figure out who I was and what I wanted in a relationship.
24: Do you think love can last forever?
Oh, yeah. There's more than just romantic love. There's the love of a pet, or of a family member, or a friend. Love can most certainly last forever in any form. It just takes work.
25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
In a sense...yeah? But physically, no. Does that make sense?
26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
Nah fuck that. I don't live with either of them and they don't have a say of what goes on in my personal life. As long as I'm being treated well and I'm happy, then I'll be with who I want to be with. That's not to say that they can't voice their opinions - they can - but it won't really sway my thoughts or feelings on my SO.
27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
Stop chasing her. You'll find a couple of good guys. She's not worth it.
28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
Yes. Mike and I were in a long distance relationship for three years before moving in together this past summer. We only saw one another during summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes spring break, but it all varied. Some times I wouldn't see him for several months, while other times I'd see him a few times in a few months.
29: What do you notice first about another person?
Physically, their height/weight, their smile, their eyes, their face in general. Then once I start to see them interact, their personality and humor.
30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
It's complicated, hah. I'm panromantic, "apathetically" asexual, andddd a transman. Though I haven't done anything to actually transition at this point in time. I will, however, be binding myself and all that shit. As far as I'm concerned, I am a man. And that's okay.
31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
Honestly, that really depends. I have depression, anxiety, paranoia, anger issues, OCD, and I may develop schizophrenia in the future. It wouldn't really bother me unless it became a huge strain on the relationship that they were unwilling to try and aid.
32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
Yes.
33: Do you want to get married one day?
I'm not opposed to the thought.
34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
I think it's really fucking stupid.
35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
I have been for three and a half years
36: Are you still a virgin?
Yes
37: What's more important: Looks or personality?
Neither outweighs the other, but you have to be attractive to me. That's all that matters if you want to be with me.
38: Do you enjoy love films?
Not particularly
39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
I would anonymously send my best friend(s) (this happened in different schools in different states) a rose/a card each Valentine's Day through the school with a letter saying what I loved about them. I have never gotten roses or letters, however, except for like one time in elementary school whenever someone wrote down that they loved me. Ah, young love. Never found out who that was lmao
40: Have you ever had a valentine?
Mike's birthday is Valentine's Day he's literally my Valentine
41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
Let's fucking play Borderlands or something and eat chicken and fries and maybe some pizza and scream and yell and swear like pirates and maybe afterwards we can lay together on the couch and watch Mythbusters
42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
I was required to in high school
43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
They're both important to me for different reasons. There are things I would do for my partner that I wouldn't do for a friend, but there are also things I would do for a friend that I wouldn't necessarily do for a partner. There are very few things, though. I feel like putting either on a level above the other is just kind of gross and in a sense, wrong. Like. Yeah. I would be crushed if Mike and I split up but I'd also be crushed if a friend and I were no longer friends. It's really difficult to explain.
44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
I fuckin' can be but I'm usually not
45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
Sure, why the hell not. There are actually two that I could see myself being with even if for only a short period of time. Doesn't mean I'm going to run away from Mike and scoop them up into my arms though
46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
I fucking hate that term and anyone who uses it seriously. You are not being "friendzoned". If someone does not like you in that way, it is not because you are friends with them. It is because they do not like you in that way.
47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
I don't even know who's dating who's famous what
48: What's your favorite love song?
idk if you'd classify it as a love song but I love "Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish
49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Probably.
50: If you're single, why do you think you are?
Not single. If I was it would be because either I couldn't find someone or I just wanted to be single. It could also be because I'm a pre-op, pre-full-transition transman and...not many people want to date someone like me. Or would even think about being with someone like me. Especially because of mental issues on my end. There could be many reasons that I'm not going to get into.
51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
"Nice guy" or actual nice guy b/c that wording is overused by people who also believe in "friendzoning". I'd rather be happy in a relationship but the second time around if nothing works out I'm marrying for money /s
52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
I would consider me to be good at it, yes.
53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
No.
54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
I think it's kind of nice to be able to tell the world THIS PERSON IS MINE AND I LOVE THEM YEAH and just show you and them are no longer available and that you're now a thing. Idk. It's not really super important but it's nice to have it out there.
55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
I am clingy and jealous, yes. I try not to be though.
56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
I did try to get someone to leave their relationship because they were being abused and manipulated. However, she went back to her because she "loved her" even though the girlfriend would say she'd kill herself if she (girl I tried to get away from her) would ever talk to anyone else. Ever. But I found out that they were both really fucking shitty people at the time. So...yeah. :u
57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
If you're already damaged then a broken heart isn't going to help it. If you want to kill yourself over a breakup then it's likely that you wanted to kill yourself beforehand and that it was just the tipping point. However, someone with no prior mental illness who dates someone for a month and then is dumped going off and stating they're going to kill themselves? Yeah, you're gross, stop.
58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
Dominant. Very, very dominant.
59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?
His birthday is fucking Valentine's Day how could I forget that. Also our anniversary is June 22nd. And I like the number 22. And it's in the middle of the year. It's easy. Gosh.
60: What's your opinion on open relationships?
I would not get into one with my current relationship...or...with any dude? But I feel like I could be in an open relationship with a female. I dunno. I'm fucking weird, I guess.
61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
Once I'm married my partner will be my family. I will have created my own family. But in general, it really depends. I don't have a great relationship with much of my family but if my mom needed me to move back in with her to help her for however long, I would do it as long as I could find a job there (or if she was willing to support me, but depending on the situation that may not be possible). I would likely drag my SO along with me to help, though, if at all possible.
62: How do you define "cheating"?
Well, see, that's kind of hard. Obviously having any sort of sexual relationship with anyone other than your SO (unless it's an open relationship and you're following that relationship's rules) is a big one. Other things include like...flirting with someone, even. Sending undertones. Having that emotional bond with someone other than your spouse. Yeah, you can have strong emotional bonds with friends, and you can flirt with friends (god knows I do that all of the time), but there is a difference between being playful with someone you've known for a long time and not being serious, and hitting on someone. Mike is 100% okay with my flirting though. He'll even tell me what to say sometimes.
63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
Iffff you're in a relationship with me I will expect you to not watch porn unless we decide on something together. To me it's a form of cheating. If you don't like that, then don't date me. But if you're not dating me then you have no say in the matter. \o/
I also think porn is disgusting. Drawn porn doesn't bother me for some reason but videos and pictures of people do. Maybe because drawn porn is fantasy while pictures and videos aren't? But I still don't want you looking at any of them in a sexual manner.
64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day in the first place. It's also Mike's birthday. And I also don't need a special day to show him that he's special to me, because I can do that any fuckin' time I want.
65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
Eh, sometimes. I am the big spoon. Big spoooon.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Fucking quizzes
- Name: Eskil
- Single or Taken: Taken
- Sex: Ehhhh. Gender is male.
- Birthday: January 5th
- Sign: Capricorn
- Hair Color: Dark brown
- Eye Color: Heterochromia. One eye's silver/green/blueish while the other is green/brownish.
- Height: About 6'
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Pan, asexual
______________________________________
• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •
______________________________________
- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Mane and Tail, Old Spice, some conditioner that I can't remember the name of for some reason but it's the only thing that works
- Who is the last person that called you?: Mike but I didn't pick up the phone lmao. Before that it was my grandmother
______________________________________
• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •
______________________________________
- Animal/s: Cats, dogs, foxes
- Color: Blues, purples, greens and oranges
- Drink: Sprite
- Element: Weh
- Food: Burgers, chicken, french fries
- Game: Skyrim, Borderlands, Pokemon, Minecraft, Mass Effect
- Movie: Ehh I don't really watch movies but I'll watch anything with Matt Smith in it
- Song: Weh idk
- Subject/s In School: Science, History, Art
- T.V. Series: Doctor Who
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• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •
______________________________________
- Given Anyone A Bath?: My youngest brother and my dog.
- Smoked?: Only second-hand (THANKS)
- Bungee Jumped?: Oh fuck no
- Made Yourself Throw Up?: Yeah, I had an eating disorder for a while.
- Skinny Dipped?: No
- Ever Been In Love?: I think I am. Or used to be.
- Made Yourself Cry To Get Out Of Trouble?: Maybe when I was little
- Pictured Your Crush Naked?: I don't have to HA
- Actually Seen Your Crush Naked?: I have seen both Mike and Matt Smith naked. That is all I need
- Cried When Someone Died?: No
- Lied: Yes
- Fallen For Your Best Friend?: I can't say anything to this.
- Used Someone?: No
- Done Something You Regret?: Doesn't everyone?
______________________________________
• × • C U R R E N T • × •
______________________________________
- Clothes: ...boxers.
- Desktop Picture: A KITTEN
- CD In Player: laughs b/c I don't have a CD player
- DVD In Player: LAUGHS I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE EITHER
______________________________________
• × • F I R S T | P E R S O N • × •
______________________________________
- You Kissed: Mike
- You Crushed On: Dom, my ex
- You Saw Today: Mike
- To Be Your Best Friend: Parker. We were really close for several years until I had to move five hours away. After that, he never tried to talk to me much and any present attempts have been met with failure. He's also on a mission to South America right now so he isn't able to be on Skype or anything often at all.
______________________________________
• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •
______________________________________
- You Touched: Mike :I
- Hugged: Mike
- You Kissed: Mike
- You IMed: SEBBYKINS
- Talk To Online: SURBERKERNS <3
- You Sexed It Up With: I have never had sex
______________________________________
• × • A R E | Y O U • × •
______________________________________
- Understanding?: Yeeep
- Open-minded?: Yes
- Arrogant?: God I hope not
- Insecure?: :I Why should you even need an answer. Yes.
- Random?: Why the fuck do you little fuckers always put this in a quiz. All it does is open up doors for idiot kids to be like LOL!!! PENGUIN WAFFLES!!!!! DOOOOOM!!!! and god I don't need that
- Hungry?: Yes
- Smart?: Yeah
- Moody?: Oh god
- Organized?: In my own special way
- Shy?: Ehhhhhh. Not so much shy as "I'm judging whether I should talk to you or not" quiet.
- Difficult?: If I'm pissed off
- Bored Easily?: Depends on my mood
- Entertained Easily?: Depends on my mood
- Obsessed?: Only sometimes
- Lazy?: Oh god yes
- Angry?: I have an anger disorder so about half the time I'm angry
- Happy?: No
- Hyper?: Are you hosting me a party? Is Matt Smith going to be there (preferably naked)? Will there be pizza? Other free food? Then yes. Otherwise no.
- Trusting?: Once someone earns it.
______________________________________
• × • R A N D O M • × •
______________________________________
- In The Morning I : want to kill myself b/c I hate going to work
- Love Is: Something I don't quite understand and something no one really quite understands
- I Dream About: you don't get to know lmao. But mostly night terrors
- What Do You Notice First In The Sex You're Into: Eyes. Face in general. Build. Their smile. What their humor is like.
_____________________________________
• × • W H O • × •
______________________________________
- Makes You Laugh The Most: I haven't laughed in quite a while.
- Makes You Smile: Dumb shit
- Frustrates You: hahahaha yeah like I'm going to give out the name. it should be fucking obvious.
- You Can't Go A Day Without Hearing From: SEBBYKINS, BISSYBOO, SHAEBUTT
- You Miss: :I
- Did You Last Drive With: Mike or my mom. Can't remember
- Do You Really Want To Hear From: The people who owe me a fucking apology before I'm going to try and speak with them again.
- Gives You A Funny Feeling When You See Him/Her: Mike? I guess? It's mostly just a "hey you're here, we live together" thing now. We've been together three and a half years. The honeymoon phase is long over.
______________________________________
• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •
______________________________________
- Sit On The Internet All Night Waiting For That Someone Special To IM You?: Ugh. Yeah.
- Wish You Were A Member Of The Opposite Sex?: As far as I'm concerned, I am a male.
- Wish You Were Younger?: If I could be like ten again or s/t I would have so much fun. But at the same time I enjoy being of age because I can have fun other ways that I wouldn't be able to as a child
- Cry Because Someone Said Something To You?: Eh, very very rarely
______________________________________
• × • N U M B E R • × •
______________________________________
- Of Times I Have Had My Heart Broken?: ...ugh.
- Of Facebook Friends: 68
- Of People You Watch: I don't fucking know
- Of Cd's I Own: A ton I grew up in the 90s/2000s
- Of Scars On My Body: Please don't go there.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Crazy? That's how it goes.
While I sit here and screech along with Steven Tyler's Dream On like a howler monkey being sexually tortured as an attempt to settle down after a rattling day at work, I figured it would be the perfect time to tell some stories about...well. What else? Work.
As some of you may (or may not) be aware, I've recently come across a job. Whoop whoop! Happy happy joy, a job! What is that job? Well, I'm a customer service representative. At a dollar store (which will not be named, though you can probably find out pretty easily as I'm really shit at saying I won't say something and then it comes out later). Which has been known to attract druggies, drunkards, annoying children all the way up to annoying college students, idiots, and creeps.
Not to mention the crazies. They're like zombies, only less intelligent and more apt to argue with you until the sun comes up the next day and your register is going apeshit because you haven't clocked out from your last shift, or clocked in for your next one, therefore, fucking up payroll. This story is about one of those crazies.
A few weeks ago, it was my manager, Michael, and I, working until close. He generally runs around stocking chemicals and answering the phone and getting whatever else shit done that needs to be done while I stand at the front of the store, at the counter, like a brain-dead opossum.
This one night was different. For several reasons.
1). It was unnaturally warm for this time of year where we are. I've become almost certain that this is a sign the crazies are coming. It never fails.
2). I'm pretty sure it was a full moon. They say it brings werewolves, but I'm sure it brings out the crazies. This also never fails.
3). This particular 'crazy' came in.
Now, let me get this straight right here - in order to buy cough medicine, we have to have your birth date. We don't need to see your ID for it as long as you look old enough (this man certainly did - mid-50's, at least), but we still need to put something into the system, and we aren't allowed to lie. Basically, if you definitely look old enough and give us a bullshit birthday, who'll know? We don't know your birthday. We can't bullshit it, but you can if you look old enough. You could be 80 years old and give us a birthday saying you're 21, and we'd probably put it in. We aren't that picky.
Anyway, guy comes in, walks around for a bit, and finally decides to spend 30 minutes waltzing about the medicine aisle like a gentleman across a ballroom dance floor. Except he wasn't dancing, was rather clumsy, and was the complete opposite of a gentleman.
After what must have been a grueling attempt to decide exactly what would fix his ailments - lest he be cast into the bowels of the earth for taking the wrong thing by Cthulu - he finally approached the counter with a small, boxed, bottle of cough medicine. I do the normal thing - ring it up, stick it in a bag behind the counter, and ask for his birthday. Which is customary. What follows is not.
"Whaddya need that for?" he grumps.
(Crazy Train is playing at this point, so I can finally say that I have a title relevant to the situation!)
"It's just standard procedure," I reply. "We just need a birthday to make sure you're over 18."
"I ain't trustin' nobody with that! I'm almost 70 years old!"
"I just need something to put into the system."
"Well I ain't trustin' nobody with that information!" he said, while throwing his hands into the air like an angry baboon. "They'll steal it!"
"Steal what, exactly, sir?"
"My identity! They'll steal my identity! I ain't trustin' no one with that information!" he said.
"Sir I'm not sure what you me-"
"MY IDENTITY!" he continued. "Haven't ya seen on the telly where's them's teenagers goes 'n steals the old dead peoples' identities in the graveyards just by knowin' their names and their birthdates?"
At this point, I'm not sure what to make of the situation. At first I thought he was just fucking with me, in a really-, really-bad-joke kind of way. Apparently not. Apparently, I was mistaken.
"...No, sir." I say, trying to hold back a chuckle that was a mixture of confusion and a reaction to an awkward situation.
"Ya fuckin' goddamned kids! Watchin' yer telly all the time!" At this point, he's absolutely freaking the fuck out and I have no idea what to do. I wasn't trained for this! "Ya should know yer telly! I saw it on the news! Kids stealin' identities!"
"Um, well, I'm not much of a television watcher." I've just about had it. "I'll...be right back."
I walk back to the stock room, where Michael was on the phone. I motion to him to listen to me for a second. I'm sure the look on my face told a great story.
"...There's this...there's this guy out there and he won't give me his birthday."
"What's he buying?"
"Cough medicine." I say.
"Does he look old enough?"
"Well, yes, but he's be-"
"Just stick in 10-20-30 or something." He goes back to talking on the phone.
"...but he's being weird." I whisper in a stressed voice. I slink back up to front desk basically hating the fact that it had to be me dealing with this nutcase.
"WHERE'D YA GO?" He starts questioning me like I'm a murder accomplice. "WHAT'D YA LEAVE FOR?"
"Just making sure of *some bullshit*". I can't even remember what I said, but it calmed him down. "May I have a birthday?"
"WELL HOLD ON LET ME THINK OF ONE," he's pretty much yelling and I'm wondering how in the hell Michael didn't hear him. "I GOTTA MAKE ONE UP..."
Eventually he gives me some obviously bullshit birthday (like I care). He said he was almost 70, yet gave me a birthday in the late 1960's. Hurr, okay. Whatever you say!
Finally he's out of my hair. He finally leaves (but not after calling me stupid, of course!).
The kicker out of all of this?
He was paying with cash. Even if he had been paying with credit, the most I would have known would be the last four digits of his card number, and I wouldn't know his name. Or his bank. Or tons of other information that's required in order to steal an identity.
Let me tell you this:
If stealing an identity was as easy as knowing someone's birth date, there would be a lot more stolen identities.
As some of you may (or may not) be aware, I've recently come across a job. Whoop whoop! Happy happy joy, a job! What is that job? Well, I'm a customer service representative. At a dollar store (which will not be named, though you can probably find out pretty easily as I'm really shit at saying I won't say something and then it comes out later). Which has been known to attract druggies, drunkards, annoying children all the way up to annoying college students, idiots, and creeps.
Not to mention the crazies. They're like zombies, only less intelligent and more apt to argue with you until the sun comes up the next day and your register is going apeshit because you haven't clocked out from your last shift, or clocked in for your next one, therefore, fucking up payroll. This story is about one of those crazies.
A few weeks ago, it was my manager, Michael, and I, working until close. He generally runs around stocking chemicals and answering the phone and getting whatever else shit done that needs to be done while I stand at the front of the store, at the counter, like a brain-dead opossum.
This one night was different. For several reasons.
1). It was unnaturally warm for this time of year where we are. I've become almost certain that this is a sign the crazies are coming. It never fails.
2). I'm pretty sure it was a full moon. They say it brings werewolves, but I'm sure it brings out the crazies. This also never fails.
3). This particular 'crazy' came in.
Now, let me get this straight right here - in order to buy cough medicine, we have to have your birth date. We don't need to see your ID for it as long as you look old enough (this man certainly did - mid-50's, at least), but we still need to put something into the system, and we aren't allowed to lie. Basically, if you definitely look old enough and give us a bullshit birthday, who'll know? We don't know your birthday. We can't bullshit it, but you can if you look old enough. You could be 80 years old and give us a birthday saying you're 21, and we'd probably put it in. We aren't that picky.
Anyway, guy comes in, walks around for a bit, and finally decides to spend 30 minutes waltzing about the medicine aisle like a gentleman across a ballroom dance floor. Except he wasn't dancing, was rather clumsy, and was the complete opposite of a gentleman.
After what must have been a grueling attempt to decide exactly what would fix his ailments - lest he be cast into the bowels of the earth for taking the wrong thing by Cthulu - he finally approached the counter with a small, boxed, bottle of cough medicine. I do the normal thing - ring it up, stick it in a bag behind the counter, and ask for his birthday. Which is customary. What follows is not.
"Whaddya need that for?" he grumps.
(Crazy Train is playing at this point, so I can finally say that I have a title relevant to the situation!)
"It's just standard procedure," I reply. "We just need a birthday to make sure you're over 18."
"I ain't trustin' nobody with that! I'm almost 70 years old!"
"I just need something to put into the system."
"Well I ain't trustin' nobody with that information!" he said, while throwing his hands into the air like an angry baboon. "They'll steal it!"
"Steal what, exactly, sir?"
"My identity! They'll steal my identity! I ain't trustin' no one with that information!" he said.
"Sir I'm not sure what you me-"
"MY IDENTITY!" he continued. "Haven't ya seen on the telly where's them's teenagers goes 'n steals the old dead peoples' identities in the graveyards just by knowin' their names and their birthdates?"
At this point, I'm not sure what to make of the situation. At first I thought he was just fucking with me, in a really-, really-bad-joke kind of way. Apparently not. Apparently, I was mistaken.
"...No, sir." I say, trying to hold back a chuckle that was a mixture of confusion and a reaction to an awkward situation.
"Ya fuckin' goddamned kids! Watchin' yer telly all the time!" At this point, he's absolutely freaking the fuck out and I have no idea what to do. I wasn't trained for this! "Ya should know yer telly! I saw it on the news! Kids stealin' identities!"
"Um, well, I'm not much of a television watcher." I've just about had it. "I'll...be right back."
I walk back to the stock room, where Michael was on the phone. I motion to him to listen to me for a second. I'm sure the look on my face told a great story.
"...There's this...there's this guy out there and he won't give me his birthday."
"What's he buying?"
"Cough medicine." I say.
"Does he look old enough?"
"Well, yes, but he's be-"
"Just stick in 10-20-30 or something." He goes back to talking on the phone.
"...but he's being weird." I whisper in a stressed voice. I slink back up to front desk basically hating the fact that it had to be me dealing with this nutcase.
"WHERE'D YA GO?" He starts questioning me like I'm a murder accomplice. "WHAT'D YA LEAVE FOR?"
"Just making sure of *some bullshit*". I can't even remember what I said, but it calmed him down. "May I have a birthday?"
"WELL HOLD ON LET ME THINK OF ONE," he's pretty much yelling and I'm wondering how in the hell Michael didn't hear him. "I GOTTA MAKE ONE UP..."
Eventually he gives me some obviously bullshit birthday (like I care). He said he was almost 70, yet gave me a birthday in the late 1960's. Hurr, okay. Whatever you say!
Finally he's out of my hair. He finally leaves (but not after calling me stupid, of course!).
The kicker out of all of this?
He was paying with cash. Even if he had been paying with credit, the most I would have known would be the last four digits of his card number, and I wouldn't know his name. Or his bank. Or tons of other information that's required in order to steal an identity.
Let me tell you this:
If stealing an identity was as easy as knowing someone's birth date, there would be a lot more stolen identities.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Trip to Kennywood + my cat has worms
Ahaha, oh, wow. It's Friday, you fat nasty trash. Time for me to bitch yet again about something retarded that no one else gives a shit about.
Yeah, ah, okay, went to Kennywood on Wednesday. Mike talked me into riding Thunderbolt and that was kind of a terrible, terrible, terrible idea because that coaster just tries to kick your ass the entire time you're riding it. I mean just about literally kick your ass. Fucker throws you around a hell of a lot. Now Mike and I know why they have the smaller riders enter first. He probably has bruises on his ribs. Oh, that and it made me sick because I have vertigo but decided that just this once it would be okay. Nope. Nope nope NOPE it was not okay. That was the first thing we did upon entering the park before taking a piss and it was a terrible decision. I also started to have a panic attack on the ride from being thrown up, down, and generally around, and I'm really surprised that I was able to breathe by the time I got off. So I sat in the shade for like 20 minutes while Mike was most likely really annoyed because I'm super unfun at amusement parks and shit since I get sick. Oh well
Then Jade texted me and was like "look out for a roaming pack of hippies" because her mom was wearing tie-dye and her dad was wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt. It's like they walked right out of the 60's/70's. And it was pretty brilliant.
Jade kept trying to get me to go on coasters. I've told her I can't before (hell I've taken her to Kings Dominion) but I think she thinks I'm just afraid of them. I'm not afraid of coasters, I just don't want to get sick because it puts me out of commission for anything else that I would actually want to do during the day, as well as anything less intense that she'd want me to do. She tried talking me into going on The Phantom, but like hell was that going to happen. No. But, well, she did talk me into going on Jackrabbit. Which, okay, I can handle. It kind of felt like it was jumping on/off the tracks in some parts, but unlike Thunderbolt, Jackrabbit had a seatbelt too, instead of the little bumper thing that barely covers my knees. I'm not fat enough to fit in those seats and not be freaked out of flying out every time we go over a hill or a bump. I am 5'10/11" and 150 pounds. I AM NOT FAT ENOUGH TO RIDE THESE COASTERS APPARENTLY
And apparently there was a miscommunication between Jade and her mom because...well, her mom thought I was pregnant for some reason. At least that's what Jade told me. At least her mom was steered away from that idea by Jade? My initial reaction was like wow that's new I've never even had sex WOW surprise and then it went to how the fuck did this come up in conversation. Guys, hey, I know I have a little bit of a belly from not exercising because of torn tendons in my foot and everything but it's not that bad. At least I thought it wasn't. Fuck.
Anyway YEAH BACK TO KENNYWOOD Jade and her mom went on The Phantom and I had to hold her mom's glasses. Which is okay, I don't mind. But the wait was 45 minutes+ and it took them over an hour. Mike and I kind of stood under a tree in the shade while I died of heat stroke and drank about four and a half bottles of water. A lot of super-overweight people were taking up seats, and kicking kids out of them, which kind of pissed me off because I was like hey um you have a wheelchair can you just roll into shade somewhere instead of taking up the benches that are in the shade that other people/children might need because I honestly thought I was going to fall over. Eventually someone got up and I ran over and took the seat. I would've sat along the fence if there was somewhere to sit, but nope. ;_; Anyway yeah, I saw tons of little kids trying to get seats but this...ugh this is going to sound mean but oh well, a rather large, hambeast weeaboo girl kicked them out of their seats so she could have a place to sit. That shit is messed up.
Yeah, um. Jade and her mom got off the ride, I gave her mom her glasses back and we split up to get some stuff to eat. I wound up getting some chicken fingers and fries because it was the most food for the "cheapest" price. It was still $8 but who gives a fuck, I hadn't eaten at all that day before we left, and it was 3pm before we ate. I wanted to eat at The Potato Patch but there were so many people in line that I would have fallen over and died before I was able to order. Mike got a sub that was kind of shitty so I feel bad for him about that. Anyway Jade found us again and we sat for a while, she got something to eat so we sat even longer then we didn't know what to do so we wandered around.
We just kind of stood next to the fountains/the thing the log flume was in and hoped for large amounts of people to get on the ride for bigger splashes. We found the perfect spot - we wouldn't get drenched, but a ton of mist would just spray our way and it was fucking glorious because it was somewhere around 95 that day in the shade. And it's like that again today but fuck it because I want to go down to the town's festival and get some funnel cake and kettle corn and delicious foods. Anyway a huge, buff-looking black guy stood next to Jade and when the water flew into the air he braced himself while Jade and I were standing there like YEAH WATER YOU FUCKER BRING IT ONNNNNN WE'RE READY even though it was just mist. When he realized it was just mist he said "aww shit nigga now I look stupid" and I was like man you have no idea that was the most hilarious thing I'd seen all day because little kids were standing to the opposite side of him cheering on because the water was full-blast on them. And I'm talking about little 3 year olds.
There were sprinklers aimed off of the fences in random places throughout the park. Jade and I were looking for a bathroom since we both had to piss rather badly, and we found a sprinkler in front of a bathroom. There was a little girl with a gigantic spray bottle sitting in the spray. She ran up to Jade and started laughing and squirting her while Jade was like OH GOD SHE'S SQUIRTING ME NOOOOO HAHA OKAY NEVERMIND IT'S ADORABLE. I kind of backed away because I hate being squirt and I had my phone and everything in my pockets and I was kind of worried she would squirt it or something. Anyway she ran up to 6'7" Mike, squirted him, yelled "HA! I GOT YOU!" and then ran away to her dad and squirted him.
Anyway the bitching thing was for the fact that out of all the places I could have forgotten to put sunscreen on, I forgot to put it on my scalp. My fucking scalp. The place that's more open to the sun than my face. And now it's red, it hurts, and it's itchy and will probably peel and be really annoying within the next few days.
Back to the park. We wandered around some more and looked into the gift shops and everything. That's where Jade was like "oooh what's this" and picked up a "sexy cat girl outfit". It wasn't even like...on a rack, or away from little kids' reaches, or anything like that. It was just, well, laying in a crate with little animal hats and stuff. Welp. Someone's parents are bound to get a surprise at some point. We also found a giant plastic afro and a plastic Elvis hair thing which was beautiful. Some of the things in there I would have bought because they're so ridiculous but the fact everything was like $20 (yeah I know I shouldn't be surprised) for a fucking hat then hell no. A small thing of sour patch kids was like $3. Yeah no sorry. Maybe if I'm dying from not eating anything for eight hours, but then again I'd rather spend about three times the money for something that can be CLOSE to being considered an actual meal.
I did spend $3 on a lemonade, though. Not a bad choice though because that lemonade is so fucking delicious ugh.
It took us an hour forty-five minutes/two hours to get there. It was no problem getting there, there were like two exits we had to look for because 119 goes right from off my house right down to near Kennywood. But the way back, dear christ. It took us nearly three and a half hours to get back. Because they were doing road work and hadn't set up/taken down certain signs, so when the something-22 and 119 signs popped up, we were under the one on the left and supposedly had to be on the one in the middle. fuck you and fuck your signs. So we kind of went to Ebenborough/Ebensburg something or other and took another road straight home to get on 119. So again, fuck you and fuck your signs
That isn't the best part about getting home, though. Around 5:30 it started raining really goddamn hard. And I mean really goddamn hard. So hard that if you had soap with you, you wouldn't need an actual shower. It was getting really thunder-y and lightning-y so Mike and I wandered around looking for a place to hide from the rain because it was starting down super hard. Jade and her family were in the food carousel so we're like "let's go there" but it was so fucking packed because everyone apparently congregates there when it rains.
It kind of let off, and was just a sprinkle, so we wandered over to a stage area and sat down at a table there. Then it started to rain really hard again, and we decided fuck it, we'd just leave, because the storm wasn't about to just pass. The clouds were all a dark menacing gray, and the lightning was just two miles or so off, and was headed our direction. So it started raining harder on our way out of the park. Once we got to the front gate it was seriously pouring buckets and I took shelter along the edge of the bathroom to put my phone, wallet, keys, license, etc. into the backpack so shit wouldn't get ruined.
Mike asked if I wanted to wait a minute or so and see if it let off, or if I wanted to just make a go for the car (which was alllll the way on the other side of the lot, in the farthest space away from the park). I was like, shit, let's just go, because by the looks of things it wasn't going to stop pouring down anytime soon. So we left the park and got into the parking lot, and the rain started to get really fucking bad. Like...I was so drenched that my clothes couldn't absorb any more water, so the rain was just sliding off of me. The way I was walking was making my upper body nearly parallel to the ground because if I hadn't of, I wouldn't have been able to see where I was going. Mike at least has glasses so he didn't get hit in the eyes, but he kept having to use his hand to wipe the lenses to be able to see really clearly. I was holding his hand and wearing nonslip waiting/waitressing shoes and I was still slipping because there was an inch, two inches of flowing water down the slanted (sideways) parking lot.
Anywho we got to the car and Mike just flung his shirt off, threw it in the backseat and climbed into the driver's seat while I sat in the passenger's seat with a towel (that I'd stolen from the driver's seat. It was there from Mike working at a Proform and having powdered metal all over the seat so the towel was there to protect my pants/his pants from the metal dust) and dried off my hair. I then proceeded to take off my shirt and throw it in the backseat. Fuck it, I thought, there's no one else around and the water is making such a sheet of white and clear runny-ness that no one can see in anyway. I'm glad I brought a second shirt. Thing is, it was in the backpack. That I had been carrying through the rain.
And water had been pooling at the base of my back against the backpack, so that shirt had gotten wet splotches on it. I still whipped my shirt off, dried off and put the other shirt on, though, because hey, it's better than being completely drenched. My pants were completely drenched, too, and I almost took them off and just sat with a shirt on and a towel, but I probably would have gotten too cold from the car's AC hitting off of my wet body. So I left my pants on, took off my socks and shoes, and stuck my feet underneath the glove compartment back there where the heat comes from. Good lord that felt nice.
Well anyway, we were driving and Mike nearly had to pull over a couple of times because of how hard the rain was coming down. Then, you know, the sign thing and it took us three and a half hours to get home. We outran the storm, but it was still following us and eventually reached us last night. Sugar (cat) freaked out because he's terrified of thunder and lightning, poor baby. Sam just kind of chilled on the back porch completely soaked like "yeah I do this for a living". And as I type this, he's in Mike's computer chair next to me having a little bath and purring. How adorable.
Yeah we left around 6, and we got home at like 9:15-ish. My mom was really confused because I didn't tell her we were coming home then. But then she made some delicious BBQ chicken and mashed potatoes and ugh it's so delicious.
Now it's time for cat stories, this time featuring Sugar.
So, uh, my cats are completely different. In color (black and white), in temperament (one hates everything while the other either is scared of it or loves it to death), and in, well, weight (one's fat while the other is really skinny). Everything about that is normal, except for the last bit.
Sugar's been losing weight, which, you know, is good. Because he was overweight before and we put him and Sam on a diet. Thing is, he's been losing a bit...too much weight. We had no idea what was wrong with him. We thought it might be worms, but we didn't have any proof and we didn't want to spend the money at a vet for them to tell us they a) can't do anything if we don't have a worm from him or b) there's nothing wrong with him at all. But yesterday, he came inside and went underneath a barstool and I was like "aww you're such a cute little poop aren't you" and petting him when I saw something on his stomach. I moved his fur and it was this...worm...thing. And I was like "well that's disgusting" and then he started licking his belly and flung it onto my hand after which I flung it onto the towel he was on, yelled for my mom and washed my hands with Dawn and hot water for about eight minutes straight.
My mom was like "oh no he has worms where did the worm come from" and then put the worm in a baggy. This was at like 11 in the morning. She called the vet and an appointment was scheduled for eight. Mike and I had to take him in because my mom promised Jamie/her boyfriend that she would go over and hang out with him and help him with stuff at the festival since he runs a booth there sometimes.
So yeah this cutie:
He has roundworm. At least that's what the vet said it looked like. It was kind of hard to tell because it was all dried up after spending nine hours in a plastic bag.
In the vet's office, though, there was a really absolutely gorgeous pitbull. She was the dark chocolate color, with the marbled caramel and white in her fur and she was just so pretty ugh. She kept coming over to me and whining and rubbing her head against my leg and being adorable but her owner kept pulling her away even after I insisted she was fine. I love dogs. Dogs love me. Problem? I don't see one. But there was a boxer in there, too, and he was like OH GOD YOU'RE A PERSON I LOVE ME SOME PERSONS LET ME LOVE YOUUUUUU so while I was in line to tell them I was there with Sugar for 8, the dog was like LET ME LICK YOU OMG YES YES YES YES I LOVE YOU PERSON. He was so cute, lord.
There was a lady with a little pembroke corgi, too. Good gracious that dog was the most adorable dog I had ever seen in my life. She was just carrying him under my arm and he was like hey guys sup :3 and ugh. He was so soft, too. She sat him down and he waddled over to me and hid behind my legs and licked my leg a lot. So two free baths in two days. And he talked to Sugar, too. He was like roo? and Sugar was all miao? and so that was super fucking cute. The corgi shook his fur a little, and he kind of vibrated across the linoleum floor and ugh that dog is so cute. I loved him and he loved me.
Someone came in with a lab that had a gigantic, scab-looking thing all over the back of his head and neck and I felt so bad for him. Then all of the dogs proceeded to stare at me for fifteen minutes while whining and wagging their tails at me and trying to lick me.
Then there was an older guy there with his kitty and he told a story about how he has a yellow lab, and the cat will go over, give the lab a bath and lay down with and sleep with him and I was like well THAT IS FUCKING ADORABLE OKAY.
Then we were called back, we had to pull Sugar out of his carrier, give him a shot and some de-worming medicine, and he stuck a back claw into Mike's hand and just kind of...tore into him. He got me, too, but he didn't break the skin very much, if at all. It still hurt, though, because cat scratches. I felt bad for the little guy. The de-worming stuff is yellow, and he, well, he's white, and he was resisting so he was getting a bunch of yellow gunk all over his face. Poor babbu. So we have to give him another dose of the de-worming stuff next Thursday, then take in a stool sample in two weeks from now to see if there are any worms/eggs. Because he'll be pooping them out like crazy until then.
Anyway, until I find something else to complain about, I'll leave you guys alone. Because my IBS is kicking in for some reason? So I need to figure out what I ate that caused it to get my stomach into knots.
Yeah, ah, okay, went to Kennywood on Wednesday. Mike talked me into riding Thunderbolt and that was kind of a terrible, terrible, terrible idea because that coaster just tries to kick your ass the entire time you're riding it. I mean just about literally kick your ass. Fucker throws you around a hell of a lot. Now Mike and I know why they have the smaller riders enter first. He probably has bruises on his ribs. Oh, that and it made me sick because I have vertigo but decided that just this once it would be okay. Nope. Nope nope NOPE it was not okay. That was the first thing we did upon entering the park before taking a piss and it was a terrible decision. I also started to have a panic attack on the ride from being thrown up, down, and generally around, and I'm really surprised that I was able to breathe by the time I got off. So I sat in the shade for like 20 minutes while Mike was most likely really annoyed because I'm super unfun at amusement parks and shit since I get sick. Oh well
Then Jade texted me and was like "look out for a roaming pack of hippies" because her mom was wearing tie-dye and her dad was wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt. It's like they walked right out of the 60's/70's. And it was pretty brilliant.
Jade kept trying to get me to go on coasters. I've told her I can't before (hell I've taken her to Kings Dominion) but I think she thinks I'm just afraid of them. I'm not afraid of coasters, I just don't want to get sick because it puts me out of commission for anything else that I would actually want to do during the day, as well as anything less intense that she'd want me to do. She tried talking me into going on The Phantom, but like hell was that going to happen. No. But, well, she did talk me into going on Jackrabbit. Which, okay, I can handle. It kind of felt like it was jumping on/off the tracks in some parts, but unlike Thunderbolt, Jackrabbit had a seatbelt too, instead of the little bumper thing that barely covers my knees. I'm not fat enough to fit in those seats and not be freaked out of flying out every time we go over a hill or a bump. I am 5'10/11" and 150 pounds. I AM NOT FAT ENOUGH TO RIDE THESE COASTERS APPARENTLY
And apparently there was a miscommunication between Jade and her mom because...well, her mom thought I was pregnant for some reason. At least that's what Jade told me. At least her mom was steered away from that idea by Jade? My initial reaction was like wow that's new I've never even had sex WOW surprise and then it went to how the fuck did this come up in conversation. Guys, hey, I know I have a little bit of a belly from not exercising because of torn tendons in my foot and everything but it's not that bad. At least I thought it wasn't. Fuck.
Anyway YEAH BACK TO KENNYWOOD Jade and her mom went on The Phantom and I had to hold her mom's glasses. Which is okay, I don't mind. But the wait was 45 minutes+ and it took them over an hour. Mike and I kind of stood under a tree in the shade while I died of heat stroke and drank about four and a half bottles of water. A lot of super-overweight people were taking up seats, and kicking kids out of them, which kind of pissed me off because I was like hey um you have a wheelchair can you just roll into shade somewhere instead of taking up the benches that are in the shade that other people/children might need because I honestly thought I was going to fall over. Eventually someone got up and I ran over and took the seat. I would've sat along the fence if there was somewhere to sit, but nope. ;_; Anyway yeah, I saw tons of little kids trying to get seats but this...ugh this is going to sound mean but oh well, a rather large, hambeast weeaboo girl kicked them out of their seats so she could have a place to sit. That shit is messed up.
Yeah, um. Jade and her mom got off the ride, I gave her mom her glasses back and we split up to get some stuff to eat. I wound up getting some chicken fingers and fries because it was the most food for the "cheapest" price. It was still $8 but who gives a fuck, I hadn't eaten at all that day before we left, and it was 3pm before we ate. I wanted to eat at The Potato Patch but there were so many people in line that I would have fallen over and died before I was able to order. Mike got a sub that was kind of shitty so I feel bad for him about that. Anyway Jade found us again and we sat for a while, she got something to eat so we sat even longer then we didn't know what to do so we wandered around.
We just kind of stood next to the fountains/the thing the log flume was in and hoped for large amounts of people to get on the ride for bigger splashes. We found the perfect spot - we wouldn't get drenched, but a ton of mist would just spray our way and it was fucking glorious because it was somewhere around 95 that day in the shade. And it's like that again today but fuck it because I want to go down to the town's festival and get some funnel cake and kettle corn and delicious foods. Anyway a huge, buff-looking black guy stood next to Jade and when the water flew into the air he braced himself while Jade and I were standing there like YEAH WATER YOU FUCKER BRING IT ONNNNNN WE'RE READY even though it was just mist. When he realized it was just mist he said "aww shit nigga now I look stupid" and I was like man you have no idea that was the most hilarious thing I'd seen all day because little kids were standing to the opposite side of him cheering on because the water was full-blast on them. And I'm talking about little 3 year olds.
There were sprinklers aimed off of the fences in random places throughout the park. Jade and I were looking for a bathroom since we both had to piss rather badly, and we found a sprinkler in front of a bathroom. There was a little girl with a gigantic spray bottle sitting in the spray. She ran up to Jade and started laughing and squirting her while Jade was like OH GOD SHE'S SQUIRTING ME NOOOOO HAHA OKAY NEVERMIND IT'S ADORABLE. I kind of backed away because I hate being squirt and I had my phone and everything in my pockets and I was kind of worried she would squirt it or something. Anyway she ran up to 6'7" Mike, squirted him, yelled "HA! I GOT YOU!" and then ran away to her dad and squirted him.
Anyway the bitching thing was for the fact that out of all the places I could have forgotten to put sunscreen on, I forgot to put it on my scalp. My fucking scalp. The place that's more open to the sun than my face. And now it's red, it hurts, and it's itchy and will probably peel and be really annoying within the next few days.
Back to the park. We wandered around some more and looked into the gift shops and everything. That's where Jade was like "oooh what's this" and picked up a "sexy cat girl outfit". It wasn't even like...on a rack, or away from little kids' reaches, or anything like that. It was just, well, laying in a crate with little animal hats and stuff. Welp. Someone's parents are bound to get a surprise at some point. We also found a giant plastic afro and a plastic Elvis hair thing which was beautiful. Some of the things in there I would have bought because they're so ridiculous but the fact everything was like $20 (yeah I know I shouldn't be surprised) for a fucking hat then hell no. A small thing of sour patch kids was like $3. Yeah no sorry. Maybe if I'm dying from not eating anything for eight hours, but then again I'd rather spend about three times the money for something that can be CLOSE to being considered an actual meal.
I did spend $3 on a lemonade, though. Not a bad choice though because that lemonade is so fucking delicious ugh.
It took us an hour forty-five minutes/two hours to get there. It was no problem getting there, there were like two exits we had to look for because 119 goes right from off my house right down to near Kennywood. But the way back, dear christ. It took us nearly three and a half hours to get back. Because they were doing road work and hadn't set up/taken down certain signs, so when the something-22 and 119 signs popped up, we were under the one on the left and supposedly had to be on the one in the middle. fuck you and fuck your signs. So we kind of went to Ebenborough/Ebensburg something or other and took another road straight home to get on 119. So again, fuck you and fuck your signs
That isn't the best part about getting home, though. Around 5:30 it started raining really goddamn hard. And I mean really goddamn hard. So hard that if you had soap with you, you wouldn't need an actual shower. It was getting really thunder-y and lightning-y so Mike and I wandered around looking for a place to hide from the rain because it was starting down super hard. Jade and her family were in the food carousel so we're like "let's go there" but it was so fucking packed because everyone apparently congregates there when it rains.
It kind of let off, and was just a sprinkle, so we wandered over to a stage area and sat down at a table there. Then it started to rain really hard again, and we decided fuck it, we'd just leave, because the storm wasn't about to just pass. The clouds were all a dark menacing gray, and the lightning was just two miles or so off, and was headed our direction. So it started raining harder on our way out of the park. Once we got to the front gate it was seriously pouring buckets and I took shelter along the edge of the bathroom to put my phone, wallet, keys, license, etc. into the backpack so shit wouldn't get ruined.
Mike asked if I wanted to wait a minute or so and see if it let off, or if I wanted to just make a go for the car (which was alllll the way on the other side of the lot, in the farthest space away from the park). I was like, shit, let's just go, because by the looks of things it wasn't going to stop pouring down anytime soon. So we left the park and got into the parking lot, and the rain started to get really fucking bad. Like...I was so drenched that my clothes couldn't absorb any more water, so the rain was just sliding off of me. The way I was walking was making my upper body nearly parallel to the ground because if I hadn't of, I wouldn't have been able to see where I was going. Mike at least has glasses so he didn't get hit in the eyes, but he kept having to use his hand to wipe the lenses to be able to see really clearly. I was holding his hand and wearing nonslip waiting/waitressing shoes and I was still slipping because there was an inch, two inches of flowing water down the slanted (sideways) parking lot.
Anywho we got to the car and Mike just flung his shirt off, threw it in the backseat and climbed into the driver's seat while I sat in the passenger's seat with a towel (that I'd stolen from the driver's seat. It was there from Mike working at a Proform and having powdered metal all over the seat so the towel was there to protect my pants/his pants from the metal dust) and dried off my hair. I then proceeded to take off my shirt and throw it in the backseat. Fuck it, I thought, there's no one else around and the water is making such a sheet of white and clear runny-ness that no one can see in anyway. I'm glad I brought a second shirt. Thing is, it was in the backpack. That I had been carrying through the rain.
And water had been pooling at the base of my back against the backpack, so that shirt had gotten wet splotches on it. I still whipped my shirt off, dried off and put the other shirt on, though, because hey, it's better than being completely drenched. My pants were completely drenched, too, and I almost took them off and just sat with a shirt on and a towel, but I probably would have gotten too cold from the car's AC hitting off of my wet body. So I left my pants on, took off my socks and shoes, and stuck my feet underneath the glove compartment back there where the heat comes from. Good lord that felt nice.
Well anyway, we were driving and Mike nearly had to pull over a couple of times because of how hard the rain was coming down. Then, you know, the sign thing and it took us three and a half hours to get home. We outran the storm, but it was still following us and eventually reached us last night. Sugar (cat) freaked out because he's terrified of thunder and lightning, poor baby. Sam just kind of chilled on the back porch completely soaked like "yeah I do this for a living". And as I type this, he's in Mike's computer chair next to me having a little bath and purring. How adorable.
Yeah we left around 6, and we got home at like 9:15-ish. My mom was really confused because I didn't tell her we were coming home then. But then she made some delicious BBQ chicken and mashed potatoes and ugh it's so delicious.
Now it's time for cat stories, this time featuring Sugar.
So, uh, my cats are completely different. In color (black and white), in temperament (one hates everything while the other either is scared of it or loves it to death), and in, well, weight (one's fat while the other is really skinny). Everything about that is normal, except for the last bit.
Sugar's been losing weight, which, you know, is good. Because he was overweight before and we put him and Sam on a diet. Thing is, he's been losing a bit...too much weight. We had no idea what was wrong with him. We thought it might be worms, but we didn't have any proof and we didn't want to spend the money at a vet for them to tell us they a) can't do anything if we don't have a worm from him or b) there's nothing wrong with him at all. But yesterday, he came inside and went underneath a barstool and I was like "aww you're such a cute little poop aren't you" and petting him when I saw something on his stomach. I moved his fur and it was this...worm...thing. And I was like "well that's disgusting" and then he started licking his belly and flung it onto my hand after which I flung it onto the towel he was on, yelled for my mom and washed my hands with Dawn and hot water for about eight minutes straight.
My mom was like "oh no he has worms where did the worm come from" and then put the worm in a baggy. This was at like 11 in the morning. She called the vet and an appointment was scheduled for eight. Mike and I had to take him in because my mom promised Jamie/her boyfriend that she would go over and hang out with him and help him with stuff at the festival since he runs a booth there sometimes.
So yeah this cutie:
He has roundworm. At least that's what the vet said it looked like. It was kind of hard to tell because it was all dried up after spending nine hours in a plastic bag.
In the vet's office, though, there was a really absolutely gorgeous pitbull. She was the dark chocolate color, with the marbled caramel and white in her fur and she was just so pretty ugh. She kept coming over to me and whining and rubbing her head against my leg and being adorable but her owner kept pulling her away even after I insisted she was fine. I love dogs. Dogs love me. Problem? I don't see one. But there was a boxer in there, too, and he was like OH GOD YOU'RE A PERSON I LOVE ME SOME PERSONS LET ME LOVE YOUUUUUU so while I was in line to tell them I was there with Sugar for 8, the dog was like LET ME LICK YOU OMG YES YES YES YES I LOVE YOU PERSON. He was so cute, lord.
There was a lady with a little pembroke corgi, too. Good gracious that dog was the most adorable dog I had ever seen in my life. She was just carrying him under my arm and he was like hey guys sup :3 and ugh. He was so soft, too. She sat him down and he waddled over to me and hid behind my legs and licked my leg a lot. So two free baths in two days. And he talked to Sugar, too. He was like roo? and Sugar was all miao? and so that was super fucking cute. The corgi shook his fur a little, and he kind of vibrated across the linoleum floor and ugh that dog is so cute. I loved him and he loved me.
Someone came in with a lab that had a gigantic, scab-looking thing all over the back of his head and neck and I felt so bad for him. Then all of the dogs proceeded to stare at me for fifteen minutes while whining and wagging their tails at me and trying to lick me.
Then there was an older guy there with his kitty and he told a story about how he has a yellow lab, and the cat will go over, give the lab a bath and lay down with and sleep with him and I was like well THAT IS FUCKING ADORABLE OKAY.
Then we were called back, we had to pull Sugar out of his carrier, give him a shot and some de-worming medicine, and he stuck a back claw into Mike's hand and just kind of...tore into him. He got me, too, but he didn't break the skin very much, if at all. It still hurt, though, because cat scratches. I felt bad for the little guy. The de-worming stuff is yellow, and he, well, he's white, and he was resisting so he was getting a bunch of yellow gunk all over his face. Poor babbu. So we have to give him another dose of the de-worming stuff next Thursday, then take in a stool sample in two weeks from now to see if there are any worms/eggs. Because he'll be pooping them out like crazy until then.
Anyway, until I find something else to complain about, I'll leave you guys alone. Because my IBS is kicking in for some reason? So I need to figure out what I ate that caused it to get my stomach into knots.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
You're fucking kidding me, right?
My 16-year-old brother got a fairly new car - as in a 2008 Hyundai - because he wanted one. So, of course, my grandparents and father give the kid money to get one, because my brother always gets what he wants, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.
My dad said he'd have to talk to my mom about it, but he never did. Dad asked brother how his grades were (Ds, Fs), said it was fine and gave him the money anyway. Doesn't surprise me. But the kid doesn't have a job, he doesn't have a license; he lives a 3 minute drive away from the school. He has no reason to have a car. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a 14-year-old beater car, that, while it has been a sturdy car, it does have problems with it, and it will have to be replaced within the next couple of years.
What I think bothers me the most, though, is how our grandmother (dad's mom, not mom's mom - who helped brother get the car) needs surgery for what I'm sure is for her cancer reappearing...and instead of that, they spent money on a car for my brother. Now they're complaining about not having money for the surgery. I'm sorry, but potentially life-saving surgery is definitely a priority to getting a license-less, job-less, reckless-driving newly-16-year-old a car just because he wants one. That's the only reason. Because he wants one.
If he was a safe driver, planning on getting a job, and had his license, alright, that would be more fair than it currently is. However, this kid rides the yellow line, speeds in bad weather (and speeds in general), ignores all warnings from the adult passenger that there is ice and that he should slow down, doesn't stop at red lights or stop signs, and has already wrecked our grandparents' van twice...among other things. But still, surgery. Thanks, but I'd rather have my grandmother alive than have my brother out on the roads driving dangerously.
Am I jealous? A bit, perhaps, but this is coming from a kid who can't even get enough money to go to college next year. Where's my $5,500 for college, dad? Grandparents? I have straight A's with the occasional B or C, I want to go to college, I'm trying to get a job, and I'm a safe driver. I can't even. Why would you give this kid a car?
I love my brother and everything because he is my brother, but...damn.
My dad said he'd have to talk to my mom about it, but he never did. Dad asked brother how his grades were (Ds, Fs), said it was fine and gave him the money anyway. Doesn't surprise me. But the kid doesn't have a job, he doesn't have a license; he lives a 3 minute drive away from the school. He has no reason to have a car. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a 14-year-old beater car, that, while it has been a sturdy car, it does have problems with it, and it will have to be replaced within the next couple of years.
What I think bothers me the most, though, is how our grandmother (dad's mom, not mom's mom - who helped brother get the car) needs surgery for what I'm sure is for her cancer reappearing...and instead of that, they spent money on a car for my brother. Now they're complaining about not having money for the surgery. I'm sorry, but potentially life-saving surgery is definitely a priority to getting a license-less, job-less, reckless-driving newly-16-year-old a car just because he wants one. That's the only reason. Because he wants one.
If he was a safe driver, planning on getting a job, and had his license, alright, that would be more fair than it currently is. However, this kid rides the yellow line, speeds in bad weather (and speeds in general), ignores all warnings from the adult passenger that there is ice and that he should slow down, doesn't stop at red lights or stop signs, and has already wrecked our grandparents' van twice...among other things. But still, surgery. Thanks, but I'd rather have my grandmother alive than have my brother out on the roads driving dangerously.
Am I jealous? A bit, perhaps, but this is coming from a kid who can't even get enough money to go to college next year. Where's my $5,500 for college, dad? Grandparents? I have straight A's with the occasional B or C, I want to go to college, I'm trying to get a job, and I'm a safe driver. I can't even. Why would you give this kid a car?
I love my brother and everything because he is my brother, but...damn.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I really wish the third time was the charm. - A "Sarah is angry" post.
ALRIGHT, NEXT SEMESTER STAFF
Gailfrancis and Parallelless, I'm looking at you two
If you two act anything like how 95% of the current staff is I'm going to beat you with bags of onions and throw you into a giant vat of cake mix
In all seriousness, though, I understand that people can have late items if you've been out of school for a few days, but your articles should not be over three days late if you've been in school since we drafted for writing. Then again, you're probably too busy playing games on your laptop during classes and studyhalls instead of, y'know, actually writing for the paper. A day late? Alright, that's usually not too bad, but when your article is due on a Friday, and you don't even hand it in the next Monday, I want to punch you in the mouth so hard your teeth will tear your asshole, along with a couple of new ones.
Don't try and force religious views down on people through The Shadow. That's not how it works, and the fact that a lot of people on the staff are like "LOL YEAH LET'S RUN IT" makes me lose even more respect for you and them.
Same with controversial subjects. Please don't force your views on gay rights, abortion, etc. through the paper. We've talked about this. Don't be biased. You're writing a news article, not an editorial. Even if you were writing an editorial, your language and blatant bashing of those who are pro-choice and for gay rights is absolutely disgusting and shouldn't be printed in the (school) paper.
Regarding the fundraisers, we had well over three weeks to sell as much as we could. There were 60 jerky sticks we had to sell, and 52 (maybe 54?) fruit snacks. And kids eat that shit up in our school. Don't tell me (and more importantly, our supervisor) that you couldn't sell them all. I sold out of my first box of fruit snacks in under a week, and the second one about 7 school days later...and I wasn't even approaching people. I also sold out of jerky before the three weeks was up. How did you manage to sell less than 10 of each item? I know for a fact most of you left the jerky in your locker. Please don't tell me you didn't; I can tell you're lying. :I
Along with all of that, please proofread your shit before you turn it in. Not only am I a proofreader, I am the main photo editor (and the only one who knows what they're doing, apparently), I run the website for the paper, and I have my own articles to write. I don't want to have to go through your articles and make the font the right font (we use Bookman Old Style, not Papyrus or Times New Roman), the right size (16 for header, 10 for byline and body, "by" is not capitalized, there is no colon between "by" and your name, and the byline is in bold, we only went over this 1,000 times with our supervisor), and I don't want to have to justify it. I also don't want to have to correct your quite obvious grammar blunders, and I definitely am not happy having to correct spelling on words such as "school". I do not want to have to put periods on the ends of sentences, or stick in some commas so that your sentences do not turn even the most large-lunged man into a crippled, gasping mess on the floor by the time someone is finished reading them aloud. You are seniors. I should not have to do this.
To everyone who bitches about other people getting their work done, when they haven't gotten their own work done: stop trying to get other people to work and do your own damn work. You're holding up both you AND the person you're getting angry at. Finish your work, and then bother them. Checking up on them? Okay, but don't stand there for ten minutes going "omg lyk u rly need 2 finish dis".
Oh, and "photo editing" staff? If you're not aware of how to photoshop an image for the paper, please ask me instead of doing what you think is right. 100% of the time so far, your "I think this is right" images are darker than the original image and I have to re-photoshop them anyway. I know I can be mean sometimes when dealing with this sort of thing, but I'm only mean because you're doing your jobs badly. We went over how to photoshop the images correctly many times when we first got our positions. I am also the head photo editor. I am here for you to ask me questions on photo editing. Please do so, instead of creating more work for me and you. I would rather take the 5 minutes to explain/show you how to do the correct photo editing than have you do it completely wrong and me have to fix it while being pissy with you, wasting everyone's time.
And for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, use an actual fucking camera to take pictures for the paper. We have a camera. I have a camera. STOP USING PHOTOBOOTH. STOP USING YOUR SHITTY PHONE AS A CAMERA.It makes me want to rip out your eyes and pour salt in your sockets. No, but really. It looks really fucking bad. It looks unprofessional. Prior to popular belief, I can't make shitty, blurry pictures into artful masterpieces in photoshop. And you guys are the ones who were bitching about the paper looking bad whenever it came out the last two times.
If only the third time really was the charm. But, y'know, as soon as this shit comes out on the 21st, when we do a commendations and recommendations of the paper, all of you are going to be bawwwing about how "bad" certain stuff was. Well, you know what, cupcakes? It's your own damn fault you aren't willing to put work into the paper. That's why it comes out "bad". Am I (and maybe one or two other people on our 10-people staff) the only one actually putting a good amount of work into this? Am I the only one taking this shit seriously?
Along with the whole "use actual cameras" thing, try your best to not blur the fuck out of the pictures. If you do blur it, retake it; it's always obvious on the preview of the camera when it's blurry, so don't tell me it isn't or that you didn't know...when there is someone's face blurring across the picture.
How I have not completely flipped my shit on any of you is absolutely mind-boggling. Maybe I'm holding onto the hopes that you'll learn and get better, but considering neither of those seemed to have happened, I think I might just flip some tables tomorrow if any of this happens again. Mondays are already bad for everyone. Don't make it worse for us, please. This pisses me off, and my medication is supposed to prevent me from snapping again. PLEASE, just do your work so I don't snap. I don't want to snap. It's bad for me, and it's bad for you. It might hurt your "feelings", but for me, it's a legitimate health problem. So, please. I've asked before.
Oh, and guys? The paper is not free to print. It costs us money to print it, so stop just taking it. Stop thinking you're allowed one for free. I don't care that you wrote stuff in it; I did too, and I'm paying for mine. It's fifty cents. I'm pretty sure most of you can manage that; you certainly blow off more than that on snack foods from the snack shack every day. And you know, if you don't have money but want to read it, ask someone on the staff. They'll let you borrow theirs, or they'll get you one. tl;dr for that part stop stealing The Shadow we need that money to print it
tl;dr for the entire thing - The people on the newspaper staff at my school are, for the most part, lazy and do things wrong all the time (even when we've gone over it many times) so I'm bitching on the internet about it instead of beating their heads in (even though I would like to most days)
Now I'll probably sound like a shitty person or OMG SO MEEN, but trust me, you guys, you don't want to work with these people. I don't dislike them, but I dislike what they do. A few of them, I like. However, that does not excuse what they've done. Just because I am on good terms with you does not mean you can get away with doing nothing without me getting upset. People, oh my god. :1 This isn't even all of it. I wish I could totally go off but there will always be something I forget.
I'm not the managing editor.
Please don't turn me into the honorary one.
Alright, wow, this turned out really fucking long.
Gailfrancis and Parallelless, I'm looking at you two
If you two act anything like how 95% of the current staff is I'm going to beat you with bags of onions and throw you into a giant vat of cake mix
In all seriousness, though, I understand that people can have late items if you've been out of school for a few days, but your articles should not be over three days late if you've been in school since we drafted for writing. Then again, you're probably too busy playing games on your laptop during classes and studyhalls instead of, y'know, actually writing for the paper. A day late? Alright, that's usually not too bad, but when your article is due on a Friday, and you don't even hand it in the next Monday, I want to punch you in the mouth so hard your teeth will tear your asshole, along with a couple of new ones.
Don't try and force religious views down on people through The Shadow. That's not how it works, and the fact that a lot of people on the staff are like "LOL YEAH LET'S RUN IT" makes me lose even more respect for you and them.
Same with controversial subjects. Please don't force your views on gay rights, abortion, etc. through the paper. We've talked about this. Don't be biased. You're writing a news article, not an editorial. Even if you were writing an editorial, your language and blatant bashing of those who are pro-choice and for gay rights is absolutely disgusting and shouldn't be printed in the (school) paper.
Regarding the fundraisers, we had well over three weeks to sell as much as we could. There were 60 jerky sticks we had to sell, and 52 (maybe 54?) fruit snacks. And kids eat that shit up in our school. Don't tell me (and more importantly, our supervisor) that you couldn't sell them all. I sold out of my first box of fruit snacks in under a week, and the second one about 7 school days later...and I wasn't even approaching people. I also sold out of jerky before the three weeks was up. How did you manage to sell less than 10 of each item? I know for a fact most of you left the jerky in your locker. Please don't tell me you didn't; I can tell you're lying. :I
Along with all of that, please proofread your shit before you turn it in. Not only am I a proofreader, I am the main photo editor (and the only one who knows what they're doing, apparently), I run the website for the paper, and I have my own articles to write. I don't want to have to go through your articles and make the font the right font (we use Bookman Old Style, not Papyrus or Times New Roman), the right size (16 for header, 10 for byline and body, "by" is not capitalized, there is no colon between "by" and your name, and the byline is in bold, we only went over this 1,000 times with our supervisor), and I don't want to have to justify it. I also don't want to have to correct your quite obvious grammar blunders, and I definitely am not happy having to correct spelling on words such as "school". I do not want to have to put periods on the ends of sentences, or stick in some commas so that your sentences do not turn even the most large-lunged man into a crippled, gasping mess on the floor by the time someone is finished reading them aloud. You are seniors. I should not have to do this.
To everyone who bitches about other people getting their work done, when they haven't gotten their own work done: stop trying to get other people to work and do your own damn work. You're holding up both you AND the person you're getting angry at. Finish your work, and then bother them. Checking up on them? Okay, but don't stand there for ten minutes going "omg lyk u rly need 2 finish dis".
Oh, and "photo editing" staff? If you're not aware of how to photoshop an image for the paper, please ask me instead of doing what you think is right. 100% of the time so far, your "I think this is right" images are darker than the original image and I have to re-photoshop them anyway. I know I can be mean sometimes when dealing with this sort of thing, but I'm only mean because you're doing your jobs badly. We went over how to photoshop the images correctly many times when we first got our positions. I am also the head photo editor. I am here for you to ask me questions on photo editing. Please do so, instead of creating more work for me and you. I would rather take the 5 minutes to explain/show you how to do the correct photo editing than have you do it completely wrong and me have to fix it while being pissy with you, wasting everyone's time.
And for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, use an actual fucking camera to take pictures for the paper. We have a camera. I have a camera. STOP USING PHOTOBOOTH. STOP USING YOUR SHITTY PHONE AS A CAMERA.It makes me want to rip out your eyes and pour salt in your sockets. No, but really. It looks really fucking bad. It looks unprofessional. Prior to popular belief, I can't make shitty, blurry pictures into artful masterpieces in photoshop. And you guys are the ones who were bitching about the paper looking bad whenever it came out the last two times.
If only the third time really was the charm. But, y'know, as soon as this shit comes out on the 21st, when we do a commendations and recommendations of the paper, all of you are going to be bawwwing about how "bad" certain stuff was. Well, you know what, cupcakes? It's your own damn fault you aren't willing to put work into the paper. That's why it comes out "bad". Am I (and maybe one or two other people on our 10-people staff) the only one actually putting a good amount of work into this? Am I the only one taking this shit seriously?
Along with the whole "use actual cameras" thing, try your best to not blur the fuck out of the pictures. If you do blur it, retake it; it's always obvious on the preview of the camera when it's blurry, so don't tell me it isn't or that you didn't know...when there is someone's face blurring across the picture.
How I have not completely flipped my shit on any of you is absolutely mind-boggling. Maybe I'm holding onto the hopes that you'll learn and get better, but considering neither of those seemed to have happened, I think I might just flip some tables tomorrow if any of this happens again. Mondays are already bad for everyone. Don't make it worse for us, please. This pisses me off, and my medication is supposed to prevent me from snapping again. PLEASE, just do your work so I don't snap. I don't want to snap. It's bad for me, and it's bad for you. It might hurt your "feelings", but for me, it's a legitimate health problem. So, please. I've asked before.
Oh, and guys? The paper is not free to print. It costs us money to print it, so stop just taking it. Stop thinking you're allowed one for free. I don't care that you wrote stuff in it; I did too, and I'm paying for mine. It's fifty cents. I'm pretty sure most of you can manage that; you certainly blow off more than that on snack foods from the snack shack every day. And you know, if you don't have money but want to read it, ask someone on the staff. They'll let you borrow theirs, or they'll get you one. tl;dr for that part stop stealing The Shadow we need that money to print it
tl;dr for the entire thing - The people on the newspaper staff at my school are, for the most part, lazy and do things wrong all the time (even when we've gone over it many times) so I'm bitching on the internet about it instead of beating their heads in (even though I would like to most days)
Now I'll probably sound like a shitty person or OMG SO MEEN, but trust me, you guys, you don't want to work with these people. I don't dislike them, but I dislike what they do. A few of them, I like. However, that does not excuse what they've done. Just because I am on good terms with you does not mean you can get away with doing nothing without me getting upset. People, oh my god. :1 This isn't even all of it. I wish I could totally go off but there will always be something I forget.
I'm not the managing editor.
Please don't turn me into the honorary one.
Alright, wow, this turned out really fucking long.
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