Cat In A Box

So, Mike left this morning.

I knew he would have to leave for home sooner or later, but...I was wishing it would be later. I haven't cried for so long in my life. I was only able to stop maybe an hour ago. It feels like I'm going to start again.

I feel horrible. Knowing that there's no one to give me a hug whenever I need one is a horrible feeling. Knowing it'll be a few months until I'm able to kiss him again is something that has hurt me each and every time he's had to leave, or I've had to leave; and because of him staying longer, it hurts more. Knowing that even though I can hear and see him but can't touch him hurts me too.


The pain is worth it. I'd rather be away from him for months at a time and then have weeks/months to spend with the most amazing man in the world rather than be with someone every day who's a total ass.

I love him more than anything and I hope he realizes that.

I've promised him he's my everything, he's my world, and my life; and I hope he knows I mean every bit of what I say to him.

I can't wait until I can be there with him all the time.