I've been basically spending the last few days sleeping and trying to get rid of this headache that it seems I've had for...a little over a week now. It comes and goes and it totally sucks. At least it's not a cluster headache; that much I'm thankful for.
Also, IBS, GERD, AR and all other sorts of lovely things that happen to be wrong with my digestive system seem to enjoy acting up recently. AR I can deal with, it's just...stomach acid...and although it hurts it's not nearly as painful or disrupting as IBS or GERD.
And my allergy to milk products and me wanting milk really, really badly because I haven't had it in over and year so I caved in and had some cereal and milk and all that jazz just means that I'm sitting in the bathroom for god knows how long and it is most certainly not enjoyable.
Plus, joints! Since I'm double-jointed and extremely flexible (to the point where it's probably at least a bit unhealthy), my joints sometimes ache. When I move, they pop. Then they get stiff again whenever I sit in the same position for a long amount of time - which is something school does not help with; it just makes the whole 'sitting' thing worse, jesus christ.
My back's been hurting very badly, as have my shoulders and hips. Yes, my hips. I need a hip massage.
...Okay, maybe not, since that sounds dirty.
I'm also sore! Hoo-rah, I don't even know how this happened.
To top it off, I happen to be developing a cold and I feel as if Mister Red Wave wants to visit early. Again. And he happens to be very heavy the last few months and it's uncomfortable. He also likes to be unpredictable.
And give me horrible cramps! Yay! Time for a Midol overdose.
My period just...jesus. I get horribly bitchy and snarky and sarcastic while I'm surfing the red wave. And really, I'm already bitchy, snarky and sarcastic while I'm not surfing the red wave. It just...seems to multiply it, I guess.
Thank goodness Boyfriend is here to help me deal with all of this. Thank god he can deal with it. Thank god he actually finds it somewhat funny whenever I'm snarky and sarcastic. Sometimes bitchy. I'm guessing it's because I'm never like that to him. Annnnd I won't ever be, so long as I can help it. Though I think he'd understand anyway. Because he's loving and understanding <3 :la:
Anyway. I'm starving.
Time to go be fat.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The MEH Goat and the Drunk Man
Once upon a time Best Friend and I decided we wanted to go to BearTown. BearTown is a place full of gigantic rocks that are sometimes covered in ferns and are fun to climb on, jump and run across, and generally do parkour and be idiots on.
Best Friend and I convinced my mom to drive us there - since we were like, 14 or 15 and couldn't drive ourselves. That's illegal.
The drive was all fine and dandy and whatnot, and as soon as Best Friend and I arrived, we commenced the whole 'acting like idiots' thing. Running around, jumping off big drops, and flailing helplessly through the air over gaps that were probably a bit too dangerous to jump across, but that we jumped across anyway.
Now, we were having a good time. Just...being idiots. It's what we tend to do best (other than singing and dancing, because our singing and dancing is just simply beautiful and everyone should love, appreciate, and worship it).
But then, as we were chilling out on this huge rock behind some green ferns - that for some reason I couldn't stop petting - there were a couple of kids that came along. Two boys, somewhere within the age range of 9-12. And they were looking for this girl...I think her name was 'Jessica' or something. I don't remember, I'll ask Best Friend later.
Anyways. They kept saying that they 'saw you hiding up there, Jessica' and Best Friend and I are like 'what the fuck who is Jessica' to each other. We then yell 'We're not Jessica' but those little boys insisted that we were damn well that we were Jessica and they were going to make sure that we knew our place. So we kept yelling and jumped to another rock (which was too far for their little legs to jump and would send them to a flailing, horrible end - even if they had somehow made it up to the rock where we were originally).
So we were like 'lol okay that's over' and continued to dick around. It isn't a very large park, but it's not extremely small. However, I knew where the hell I was going and I made sure to let Best Friend know this.
We got lost a few times.
At one point, we found this teenage guy (18 or 19) trying to climb onto a rock, and swearing at himself because he couldn't make it up, even though there were natural steps three feet away from him. I think he may have been drunk.
He was amazed when Best Friend and I were on top of the rock and he wasn't. Yes, Mister Drunk Man, we are wizards.
Eventually after a couple of hours out in the harsh wild we got tired of shenanigan-ing around on top of rocks, so we got back to the car and decided to go to an actual...park kind of area. There was a tower there, and though the sign clearly said no more than seven persons in the tower at a time there were probably around 20 or 25 teenagers crammed into the room at the top. Also, this tower was very near to a 50-100 foot drop off.
Best Friend and I decided it would be a great idea to go ahead and try to climb up there.
I chickened out because I'm a pussy because the tower was leaning. Guys it was...fucking leaning. I love towers and all that, but there's no way I'm going to climb one if it's on the edge of a huge drop off, is not very strong against wind (it was rattling and moving and kalsjfaskg), and there's about 3-4 times the amount of people allowed on the tower at once. No. Wasn't happening.
Best Friend went up most of the way, came back down and we sat in the middle of the woods away from a clearing. Best Friend then continued to yell, 'WE ARE THE QUEENS OF THE JUNGLE', to which I replied, 'Dude we may be married but I'm pretty sure we're not lesbians'. Best Friend then says, 'Says who?'. Best Friend is a butt and made me question life. I don't know why. But she's still a butt.
While there, we went down to the parking lot and found some huge stone in the ground. Which we proceeded to draw on, and make references to Monty Python.
I even drew a dead parrot.
However, we did need to leave and get something to eat, so we did so. We went to a place where we always went after going to BearTown, because they have delicious food. Also, animals. They have a petting zoo and I'm pretty sure that that's the main reason we ever started to go there in the first place.
Anyway, after eating, we decided to go out and have a look at the animals. Pet them, feed them, look at them and creep on them. All of that fun stuff.
So, we go into this area, and Best Friend had bought some corn from a machine to feed animals. She's trying to feed a small goat, and this fat goat keeps getting in the way, attempting to steal small goat's food. Best Friend wants to give small goat food, not big goat. So she scolds him. 'No, you're a butt, you don't get any food.'
The goat made a strange 'MEHHHH' sound, and spit on best friend. Big goat then proceeded to follow us around as much as possible, even though he was on the other side of the fence; the way it was set up, there was a fence on the side of the walkway to allow animals to roam more and for people to 'interact' with them better or more or something.
Big goat kept trying to get at Best Friend's corn. He kept 'meh'ing and just being a jerk. We called him and asshole and went to look at the fennec foxes and chinchillas. Because fennecs and chinchillas are two of the most adorable animals ever.
There was also a bear and some wolves, which we decided that we would escape with, riding. She'd take the bear, I'd surf the pack of wolves, and we'd scoop up chinchillas and fennecs (respectively) to serve as our fluffy minions and/or foot/lapwarmers.
While we were there, Best Friend made fun of the sloth.
She was also hit on by a parrot.
And that's how Best Friend and I stalked, back-talked and harassed all in one day, without being arrested.
Best Friend and I convinced my mom to drive us there - since we were like, 14 or 15 and couldn't drive ourselves. That's illegal.
The drive was all fine and dandy and whatnot, and as soon as Best Friend and I arrived, we commenced the whole 'acting like idiots' thing. Running around, jumping off big drops, and flailing helplessly through the air over gaps that were probably a bit too dangerous to jump across, but that we jumped across anyway.
Now, we were having a good time. Just...being idiots. It's what we tend to do best (other than singing and dancing, because our singing and dancing is just simply beautiful and everyone should love, appreciate, and worship it).
But then, as we were chilling out on this huge rock behind some green ferns - that for some reason I couldn't stop petting - there were a couple of kids that came along. Two boys, somewhere within the age range of 9-12. And they were looking for this girl...I think her name was 'Jessica' or something. I don't remember, I'll ask Best Friend later.
Anyways. They kept saying that they 'saw you hiding up there, Jessica' and Best Friend and I are like 'what the fuck who is Jessica' to each other. We then yell 'We're not Jessica' but those little boys insisted that we were damn well that we were Jessica and they were going to make sure that we knew our place. So we kept yelling and jumped to another rock (which was too far for their little legs to jump and would send them to a flailing, horrible end - even if they had somehow made it up to the rock where we were originally).
So we were like 'lol okay that's over' and continued to dick around. It isn't a very large park, but it's not extremely small. However, I knew where the hell I was going and I made sure to let Best Friend know this.
We got lost a few times.
At one point, we found this teenage guy (18 or 19) trying to climb onto a rock, and swearing at himself because he couldn't make it up, even though there were natural steps three feet away from him. I think he may have been drunk.
He was amazed when Best Friend and I were on top of the rock and he wasn't. Yes, Mister Drunk Man, we are wizards.
Eventually after a couple of hours out in the harsh wild we got tired of shenanigan-ing around on top of rocks, so we got back to the car and decided to go to an actual...park kind of area. There was a tower there, and though the sign clearly said no more than seven persons in the tower at a time there were probably around 20 or 25 teenagers crammed into the room at the top. Also, this tower was very near to a 50-100 foot drop off.
Best Friend and I decided it would be a great idea to go ahead and try to climb up there.
I chickened out because I'm a pussy because the tower was leaning. Guys it was...fucking leaning. I love towers and all that, but there's no way I'm going to climb one if it's on the edge of a huge drop off, is not very strong against wind (it was rattling and moving and kalsjfaskg), and there's about 3-4 times the amount of people allowed on the tower at once. No. Wasn't happening.
Best Friend went up most of the way, came back down and we sat in the middle of the woods away from a clearing. Best Friend then continued to yell, 'WE ARE THE QUEENS OF THE JUNGLE', to which I replied, 'Dude we may be married but I'm pretty sure we're not lesbians'. Best Friend then says, 'Says who?'. Best Friend is a butt and made me question life. I don't know why. But she's still a butt.
While there, we went down to the parking lot and found some huge stone in the ground. Which we proceeded to draw on, and make references to Monty Python.
I even drew a dead parrot.
However, we did need to leave and get something to eat, so we did so. We went to a place where we always went after going to BearTown, because they have delicious food. Also, animals. They have a petting zoo and I'm pretty sure that that's the main reason we ever started to go there in the first place.
Anyway, after eating, we decided to go out and have a look at the animals. Pet them, feed them, look at them and creep on them. All of that fun stuff.
So, we go into this area, and Best Friend had bought some corn from a machine to feed animals. She's trying to feed a small goat, and this fat goat keeps getting in the way, attempting to steal small goat's food. Best Friend wants to give small goat food, not big goat. So she scolds him. 'No, you're a butt, you don't get any food.'
The goat made a strange 'MEHHHH' sound, and spit on best friend. Big goat then proceeded to follow us around as much as possible, even though he was on the other side of the fence; the way it was set up, there was a fence on the side of the walkway to allow animals to roam more and for people to 'interact' with them better or more or something.
Big goat kept trying to get at Best Friend's corn. He kept 'meh'ing and just being a jerk. We called him and asshole and went to look at the fennec foxes and chinchillas. Because fennecs and chinchillas are two of the most adorable animals ever.
There was also a bear and some wolves, which we decided that we would escape with, riding. She'd take the bear, I'd surf the pack of wolves, and we'd scoop up chinchillas and fennecs (respectively) to serve as our fluffy minions and/or foot/lapwarmers.
While we were there, Best Friend made fun of the sloth.
She was also hit on by a parrot.
And that's how Best Friend and I stalked, back-talked and harassed all in one day, without being arrested.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Art Class (Again)
Hey guys, I'm in art class and I really shouldn't be doing this because I could get into trouble but oh well.
Here's my logo so far.
My company sells cakes.
Delicious cakes.
The game, the end.
Here's my logo so far.
My company sells cakes.
Delicious cakes.
The game, the end.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Signs That I May Be Playing Too Much Minecraft
#934: I have hallucinated that creepers and zombies were invading my room during a sleep paralysis 'session'. I was both confused and utterly terrified, because even though I knew it was not real, it felt like it.
#1843: I have walked into a dark room on multiple occasions, freaked out, and thought, oh I am so boned I didn't make any torches. Because apparently all darkness can be solved with torches.
#2946: I was doing a bit of yard work today after class, moving some rock around. All I could think about was how much easier it would be if I had a diamond pickaxe and a large backpack that apparently doesn't get heavy at all.
#3298: I have had dreams that are pretty much normal for me, but then I go into a small cave or room and it's completely dark, and even though there are perfectly functioning light fixtures, lamps, and even windows and it's perfectly light outside, I still somehow manage to flip out because I forgot my damned torches.
#62210: After getting out of the shower, I had to lean over the sink and freak out a bit because of a rogue eyelash that decided to go all rebel and thus go kamikaze all up in eye and it hurt very badly, so I had to get it out somehow. And I'm not too good at just digging an eyelash out - you're not supposed to rub your eyes to get one out anyway - so if I didn't look in a mirror I'd be sitting there scratching at my corneas for six or seven hours until it decided its deed was done and fucked right off.
Anyways. While hovering over the sink like a wizard I suddenly heard ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. My immediate thought? Creeper. And then it got louder, and I freaked out. Just SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS all up in my business and I continued to panic a little before realizing that I was leaning on the faucet. Thus turning it on, and running a bit of water, which created the sssss sound.
#440: Whenever looking at something, or just wandering around, I'll pick out a random hill, craggy area, building, or something to try and figure out how many blocks it would take to recreate it in Minecraft.
#8509: I will sometimes look at simple, common, household objects and think of how - if it were possible at all - I could recreate them in Minecraft.
#1. I simply play too much Minecraft.
#1843: I have walked into a dark room on multiple occasions, freaked out, and thought, oh I am so boned I didn't make any torches. Because apparently all darkness can be solved with torches.
#2946: I was doing a bit of yard work today after class, moving some rock around. All I could think about was how much easier it would be if I had a diamond pickaxe and a large backpack that apparently doesn't get heavy at all.
#3298: I have had dreams that are pretty much normal for me, but then I go into a small cave or room and it's completely dark, and even though there are perfectly functioning light fixtures, lamps, and even windows and it's perfectly light outside, I still somehow manage to flip out because I forgot my damned torches.
#62210: After getting out of the shower, I had to lean over the sink and freak out a bit because of a rogue eyelash that decided to go all rebel and thus go kamikaze all up in eye and it hurt very badly, so I had to get it out somehow. And I'm not too good at just digging an eyelash out - you're not supposed to rub your eyes to get one out anyway - so if I didn't look in a mirror I'd be sitting there scratching at my corneas for six or seven hours until it decided its deed was done and fucked right off.
Anyways. While hovering over the sink like a wizard I suddenly heard ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. My immediate thought? Creeper. And then it got louder, and I freaked out. Just SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS all up in my business and I continued to panic a little before realizing that I was leaning on the faucet. Thus turning it on, and running a bit of water, which created the sssss sound.
#440: Whenever looking at something, or just wandering around, I'll pick out a random hill, craggy area, building, or something to try and figure out how many blocks it would take to recreate it in Minecraft.
#8509: I will sometimes look at simple, common, household objects and think of how - if it were possible at all - I could recreate them in Minecraft.
#1. I simply play too much Minecraft.
I Was Once Chased By A Cow
Cows are relatively friendly animals. Growing up with my grandparents living across from a farm, this is something that I knew. However, I also learned what not to do:
Piss off a cow.
Cows aren't really pissed off easily, but somehow my retarded 9-year-old self had found a way to dick around enough to make a cow want to impale me and maul my corpse so that it no longer resembled a stab wound victim's body, but a giant mangled piece of what would appear to be couch fabric and old tarp.
I remember the day pretty clearly, actually. It was one of those pretty days where your parent(s)/guardian(s)/whatever told you (or was it just me?) to get off of your damn ass and go play outside. I don't know why, but for some reason I listened to my Grandfather more than I listened to my mom or Grandma. Maybe it's because he let me play with power tools whenever I would go out and 'play' but that is an entirely different story that I may or may not get into later.
Anyway, my grandparents' house was down a long driveway and they had a yard in front of the woods near the road, and also down by the house. So, basically, if we played up in that front-est front yard, we weren't able to be 'supervised' by my grandparents unless they walked up the driveway and stood there and watched us that way. Otherwise we were pretty much free to do whatever the hell we wanted.
'Whatever the hell we wanted' usually consisted of walking across the gravel road and staring at cows, sheep, and the dogs herding them.
One day, however, I decided that I was going to climb over the fence and walk around the field and look at the cows and play with the dogs. I had done this before, this adventuring, but never without an adult around. I figured I'd done it so many times that I'd be a pro at it, but this seemed to not be the case (just as you think a hooker would be a pro at sex, but you soon find out that that is not true).
Visual aid:
Piss off a cow.
Cows aren't really pissed off easily, but somehow my retarded 9-year-old self had found a way to dick around enough to make a cow want to impale me and maul my corpse so that it no longer resembled a stab wound victim's body, but a giant mangled piece of what would appear to be couch fabric and old tarp.
I remember the day pretty clearly, actually. It was one of those pretty days where your parent(s)/guardian(s)/whatever told you (or was it just me?) to get off of your damn ass and go play outside. I don't know why, but for some reason I listened to my Grandfather more than I listened to my mom or Grandma. Maybe it's because he let me play with power tools whenever I would go out and 'play' but that is an entirely different story that I may or may not get into later.
Anyway, my grandparents' house was down a long driveway and they had a yard in front of the woods near the road, and also down by the house. So, basically, if we played up in that front-est front yard, we weren't able to be 'supervised' by my grandparents unless they walked up the driveway and stood there and watched us that way. Otherwise we were pretty much free to do whatever the hell we wanted.
'Whatever the hell we wanted' usually consisted of walking across the gravel road and staring at cows, sheep, and the dogs herding them.
One day, however, I decided that I was going to climb over the fence and walk around the field and look at the cows and play with the dogs. I had done this before, this adventuring, but never without an adult around. I figured I'd done it so many times that I'd be a pro at it, but this seemed to not be the case (just as you think a hooker would be a pro at sex, but you soon find out that that is not true).
Visual aid:
Note: not drawn to scale
Might I add that this fence was electric? Yes. Electric.
Keep that in mind.
Well, I made it over the fence and was making my way across the field, being sure to avoid all those wonderful gifts that cows and other large animals seem to love leaving all over the place.
But soon, I saw it.
A baby cow. I knew I had to stay clear of it, so I walked about 15 feet from, and parallel to, the fence.
By now, the owner of the farm had come out of the one barn that they had, with his dogs, which both came running towards me. Yay, dogs! They finally had gotten to me and had tried to jump on top of me and knock me over, which they seemed to really like doing so that they could lay on me and sleep.
Anyway, the guy (whose name I cannot remember at this point in time, considering this was about 8 years ago) was yelling at me to stop. I was doing nothing. I was standing and petting dogs. What did he want me to stop? I did not know. So I stopped and stood still.
He kept telling me to slowly get back over the fence. I must have looked at him with a completely retarded expression, because he started to yell at me to get over the fence. I, being a completely rational 9-year-old, had to ask, 'Why?'. I looked to my right, and baby cow had wandered over to me. Yay, baby cow!
However, baby cow being near me was most definitely not a good thing. Especially when it started to make adorable mooing noises and trying to lick me.
Because apparently any and all moos made by baby cow = mommy cow comes to the rescue.
And Mommy Cow certainly came to the rescue.
Now, seeing a cow in a rage is something that most people would laugh at. Hell, it's something I laugh at whenever I see it, but actually having said raging cow chasing after you is not funny. It is scary and pants-shittingly terrifying.
There is only one thing going through the mind of a cow, and that is maim. Sometimes kill, but mostly maim.
That cow was going to try to do those horrible, horrible things to me.
So, of course, like a smart little child, I tried to bolt for the fence.
I didn't quite make it.
As I attempted to climb the fence, I thought I was home free. But no. As soon as my little feet gripped hold of the rubber climbing apparatuses that were/are used for climbing over electrical fences without having the climber be electrocuted, the cow headbutted me. Right on the ass. And god damn it, it hurt like hell.
Of course I could have just thrown up my hands and landed on the ground safely, but no. In an attempt to save my face, instead of throwing my hands in front of me, I lashed them out behind me, grabbing onto a barbed, electrical fence, which sent a massive shock through my body. I remember nothing but being woken up after that and walking back to my grandparents' house, and eating spaghetti.
And that's how I got mauled by a cow and electrocuted all within one day.
Have Some Dogs
Hey, guys. I was actually going to try and do something - 'do something' as in 'write a long blog post with actual context and stories and shit' but then I realized I have a headache, I'm tired, and I'd much rather spam you with pictures of dogs. Shitty dogs. Dogs I will spend no more than probably a minute or so drawing.
So here you go.
Well, that's one.
I give up. I promise I'll write something worth reading at some point tonight.
So here you go.
Well, that's one.
I give up. I promise I'll write something worth reading at some point tonight.
Chris Angel and Shane Dawson Lovechild
...That is the best way to explain how this guy (singer) looks.
Am I the only one who sees this? Please tell me no. I don't want to sound creepy.
Then again, I guess it's too late for that.
Am I the only one who sees this? Please tell me no. I don't want to sound creepy.
Then again, I guess it's too late for that.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Well, This Is Nice
my panic attacks ruin just about everything.
well in fact, they do ruin everything.
Because whenever one happens I can't breathe very well (or at all) so I just reply with simple things to those who I am talking to or I just won't reply at all because im too busy freaking out over not breathing to do much okay
God damn it. I hate this.
Randomly not being able to breathe is not fun. It feels like I'm dying. Which I basically am.
And fucking hell WHY CAN'T I STOP CRYING.
CRYING = SOBBING
In order to sob I need to breathe
jesus who thought of these things, i mean really
thanks for coming on without any warning, you fuckers. I hope you burn in hellfire for all eternity and have to witness your mother's corpse being stuffed with the feces of 1,000,000 badgers and then made love to by a giant toad.
You made me worry Boyfriend and now I feel terrible. Worse than what a panic attack does. I'm going to go cry and hate stuff now like typical emotional teenager
why does my body hate me
why
well in fact, they do ruin everything.
Because whenever one happens I can't breathe very well (or at all) so I just reply with simple things to those who I am talking to or I just won't reply at all because im too busy freaking out over not breathing to do much okay
God damn it. I hate this.
Randomly not being able to breathe is not fun. It feels like I'm dying. Which I basically am.
And fucking hell WHY CAN'T I STOP CRYING.
CRYING = SOBBING
In order to sob I need to breathe
jesus who thought of these things, i mean really
thanks for coming on without any warning, you fuckers. I hope you burn in hellfire for all eternity and have to witness your mother's corpse being stuffed with the feces of 1,000,000 badgers and then made love to by a giant toad.
You made me worry Boyfriend and now I feel terrible. Worse than what a panic attack does. I'm going to go cry and hate stuff now like typical emotional teenager
why does my body hate me
why
Of Chloroform And Nyquil
11:22pm
Jake:
I cAn't sleep ;a;
Me:
Jake:
Sorry
Sorry
Me:
ohhhh I see
Jake:
Butbutbut I'm _____ tomorrow
Jake:
Butbutbut I'm _____ tomorrow
Hi
This is going to be a post about Boyfriend. Because he makes me happy and he made me happy so now I'm happy so I'm writing this post.
I love Boyfriend.
He is great and adorable and sweet and perfect. More than perfect.
He puts up with me even though I'm slowly (and somewhat steadily) recovering from love-starvation, which makes me even clingier and more obsessive than I normally would be; and I'm already a really clingy needy person. I don't know how he puts up with me and my emotions. I don't know how he puts up with my 'randomness' and stupid shenanigans and ideas that I seem to have. But he does.
Boyfriend is always there for me whenever I'm upset. I'm really really annoying whenever I'm upset, because I get all fuck you I hate everything wait no I don't. I'm sorry. I love you, please don't hate me, but then again, I'm really really annoying even when I'm acting perfectly normal (for being me. Normal is apparently a relative term now). He always talks to me and somehow calms me down just by doing so. Just by hearing his voice, panic attacks have been diverted. Which is weird and has never happened before - as in, me talking to someone or hearing someone and winding up not freaking out. He just calms me down a lot.
Boyfriend somehow manages to make me calm down even when I turn into a creeper ready to explode at any waking moment and take out the entire planet. He makes me laugh even if I'm sad and crying so hard it looks (and feels) like my face is going to break. He makes me smile even if I'm crying. He somehow manages to cheer me up and make me happy no matter what mood I was in before. He is just that amazing.
Also, he can cook.
He tells me that I'm pretty and I don't believe him. But whenever I disagree he seems to be sad so I feel sad and then I feel horrible and he seems to be good at guilt-tripping me without meaning to. However, if he tries to guilt-trip me on purpose I will likely not get it because I am retarded.
I am quite surprised that Boyfriend has managed to put up with me for this long. I am irritating and a generally obnoxious person. I say stupid things a lot, I put words in the wrong order, I misunderstand a lot of things and I'm an idiot. But somehow he loves me anyway and for the love of all that is holy, I cannot figure out why. But at the same time, I don't care really. Because I just need him.
I love him. I'm going to steal and marry Boyfriend one day.
Just you wait.
I love Boyfriend.
He is great and adorable and sweet and perfect. More than perfect.
He puts up with me even though I'm slowly (and somewhat steadily) recovering from love-starvation, which makes me even clingier and more obsessive than I normally would be; and I'm already a really clingy needy person. I don't know how he puts up with me and my emotions. I don't know how he puts up with my 'randomness' and stupid shenanigans and ideas that I seem to have. But he does.
Boyfriend is always there for me whenever I'm upset. I'm really really annoying whenever I'm upset, because I get all fuck you I hate everything wait no I don't. I'm sorry. I love you, please don't hate me, but then again, I'm really really annoying even when I'm acting perfectly normal (for being me. Normal is apparently a relative term now). He always talks to me and somehow calms me down just by doing so. Just by hearing his voice, panic attacks have been diverted. Which is weird and has never happened before - as in, me talking to someone or hearing someone and winding up not freaking out. He just calms me down a lot.
Boyfriend somehow manages to make me calm down even when I turn into a creeper ready to explode at any waking moment and take out the entire planet. He makes me laugh even if I'm sad and crying so hard it looks (and feels) like my face is going to break. He makes me smile even if I'm crying. He somehow manages to cheer me up and make me happy no matter what mood I was in before. He is just that amazing.
Also, he can cook.
He tells me that I'm pretty and I don't believe him. But whenever I disagree he seems to be sad so I feel sad and then I feel horrible and he seems to be good at guilt-tripping me without meaning to. However, if he tries to guilt-trip me on purpose I will likely not get it because I am retarded.
I am quite surprised that Boyfriend has managed to put up with me for this long. I am irritating and a generally obnoxious person. I say stupid things a lot, I put words in the wrong order, I misunderstand a lot of things and I'm an idiot. But somehow he loves me anyway and for the love of all that is holy, I cannot figure out why. But at the same time, I don't care really. Because I just need him.
I love him. I'm going to steal and marry Boyfriend one day.
Just you wait.
Hey So I Found This
I found this...quiz thing somewhere randomly on deviantART and since I don't feel like spamming my watchers there with another shitty journal no one would read, I've decided that I'll spam some people who see this with another shitty post no one will read.
This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?
★ If I wasn't, then why the hell would I be taking this? Gosh.
If you were caught cheating on a test, would you fess up?
★ Well, obviously. But I'd also never get caught, because I'd never do it in the first place.
The last time you felt honestly broken?
★ June 21st, 2010. On the 22nd even though it sounds totally cliché and stupid and retarded, boyfriend picked me up, dusted me off and told me he loved me and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It was adorable and sweet and he may not like me telling random people on the internet this but guys. Seriously.
Are you craving something?
★ Reese's cups, and I don't know why. Also, birch beer. Which I just finished the last of Saturday.
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
★ Boyfriend.
Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
★ Uhhhh hard choice. Would Boyfriend care either way? Well. He can choose. I want kids but I'm not sure I could handle ten. /points to Boyfriend
What do you hear right now?
★
Is your bed against more than one of your walls?
★ No.
What’s on your mind right now?
★ Boyfriend.
Are you there for your friends?
★ Whenever they need me, and a lot of the time even when they don't. I'm an extremely clingy person. Why Boyfriend hasn't told me to leave him alone yet is beyond me.
Last person to see you cry?
★ Boyfriend.
What do you do when you get nervous?
★ Cry to boyfriend, whine, complain, and quite often get panic attacks. Then I complain and cry to Boyfriend some more and then I feel bad because I made him worry.
Be honest, do you like people in general?
★ Not really.
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
★ I'm betting between the ages of 23 and 26, though...24 sounds okay.
Does anyone completely understand you?
★ Boyfriend. Best Friend. Other Best Friend. At least, they know as much about me as I do about myself, so what that says, I'm not sure.
Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
★ Yes. Other Best Friend and Boyfriend. Boyfriend? Many times.
Boyfriend, you will never lose me, ever. I am broken and stupid and a tad more insane (in the bad way) without you.
Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
★ Only to be able to relive moments with Boyfriend.
Are you easy to get along with?
★ As long as you can put up with me being an idiot, yes. Unless you never shut the hell up and are annoying.
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
★ If I hated them why would I have a conversation with them
seriously I don't get people like that
what the fuck is wrong with you females
What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
★ Pepsi even though I hate it and it is the devil's piss.
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
★ Before.
Do you like the rain?
★ I love the rain. And snow. Rain sounds nice, but snow is something I can play in with Boyfriend.
What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
★ Harry Potter, with Mom and Brother
Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
★ Nosir I am no whore. I only kiss Boyfriend. And my cats.
Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?
★ Concert
Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?
★ Uh
Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
★ Lol. Yes. Stalker 1's ex.
Do you miss anyone?
★ Yes. Boyfriend.
Last person who made you cry?
★ My mom. And Boyfriend. Well, not Boyfriend himself but I said something stupid and then I felt bad and I thought he was upset so I cried.
Does your ex (or exes) piss you off?
★ Not them in particular. However, the things that they did to me I'll always be hurt and pissed off about. Like the cheating and trying to use me and do things to me I didn't want.
What are you doing tomorrow?
★ School. Talking to Boyfriend, Best Friend, Other Best Friend, and Stalker 1 and 2.
Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
★ I've never had a relationship that lasted less than 3 months. So no.
However, Boyfriend and I are in an amazing long-lasting relationship and...are technically engaged. Just not officially. So if any of y'all want to come to the wedding you'll have to let me know.
Is there anyone you want to come see you?
★ Boyfriend. And Other Best Friend. I see Best Friend every day and she never sees me out of school anyway. So we just...derp around during classes and in the hall. Boyfriend = cuddles and wonderful adventures through Walmart and the woods behind my house. Other Best Friend = hug give and adventures throughout my kitchen.
Have you ever been cheated on?
★ Yes. Multiple times.
Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
★ Meh. I used to try giving things my all, but nothing meant as much to me ever before as Boyfriend does now. He's the only thing and person I give my all to. Because he is mine and it's going to stay that way because I am creepy and obsessed and clingy and I love him so shut your face. I'm going to marry Boyfriend one day even if he says he doesn't want to. He says he does but sometimes I think he doesn't but that's just my paranoid self.
But he does.
Do you like cotton candy?
★ God yes. Straight sugar.
Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?
★ Boyfriend.
Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
★ Yes. Boyfriend. He is comfortable and my personal pillow. And blanket. And bed in general.
How has the past week been for you?
★ Kinda stressful and not without panic attacks, however, I have Boyfriend and Best Friends so I am all okay. I hope.
What is your current mood?
★ Boyfriend-want. Boyfriend-need. Also laughing because Stalker 1 is talking to me about Boyfriend, and Stalker 1's ex over Skype and it's somewhat amusing because butts.
And that is how I died.
The end.
This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?
★ If I wasn't, then why the hell would I be taking this? Gosh.
If you were caught cheating on a test, would you fess up?
★ Well, obviously. But I'd also never get caught, because I'd never do it in the first place.
The last time you felt honestly broken?
★ June 21st, 2010. On the 22nd even though it sounds totally cliché and stupid and retarded, boyfriend picked me up, dusted me off and told me he loved me and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It was adorable and sweet and he may not like me telling random people on the internet this but guys. Seriously.
Are you craving something?
★ Reese's cups, and I don't know why. Also, birch beer. Which I just finished the last of Saturday.
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
★ Boyfriend.
Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
★ Uhhhh hard choice. Would Boyfriend care either way? Well. He can choose. I want kids but I'm not sure I could handle ten. /points to Boyfriend
What do you hear right now?
★
Is your bed against more than one of your walls?
★ No.
What’s on your mind right now?
★ Boyfriend.
Are you there for your friends?
★ Whenever they need me, and a lot of the time even when they don't. I'm an extremely clingy person. Why Boyfriend hasn't told me to leave him alone yet is beyond me.
Last person to see you cry?
★ Boyfriend.
What do you do when you get nervous?
★ Cry to boyfriend, whine, complain, and quite often get panic attacks. Then I complain and cry to Boyfriend some more and then I feel bad because I made him worry.
Be honest, do you like people in general?
★ Not really.
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
★ I'm betting between the ages of 23 and 26, though...24 sounds okay.
Does anyone completely understand you?
★ Boyfriend. Best Friend. Other Best Friend. At least, they know as much about me as I do about myself, so what that says, I'm not sure.
Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
★ Yes. Other Best Friend and Boyfriend. Boyfriend? Many times.
Boyfriend, you will never lose me, ever. I am broken and stupid and a tad more insane (in the bad way) without you.
Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
★ Only to be able to relive moments with Boyfriend.
Are you easy to get along with?
★ As long as you can put up with me being an idiot, yes. Unless you never shut the hell up and are annoying.
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
★ If I hated them why would I have a conversation with them
seriously I don't get people like that
what the fuck is wrong with you females
What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
★ Pepsi even though I hate it and it is the devil's piss.
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
★ Before.
Do you like the rain?
★ I love the rain. And snow. Rain sounds nice, but snow is something I can play in with Boyfriend.
What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
★ Harry Potter, with Mom and Brother
Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
★ Nosir I am no whore. I only kiss Boyfriend. And my cats.
Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?
★ Concert
Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?
★ Uh
Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
★ Lol. Yes. Stalker 1's ex.
Do you miss anyone?
★ Yes. Boyfriend.
Last person who made you cry?
★ My mom. And Boyfriend. Well, not Boyfriend himself but I said something stupid and then I felt bad and I thought he was upset so I cried.
Does your ex (or exes) piss you off?
★ Not them in particular. However, the things that they did to me I'll always be hurt and pissed off about. Like the cheating and trying to use me and do things to me I didn't want.
What are you doing tomorrow?
★ School. Talking to Boyfriend, Best Friend, Other Best Friend, and Stalker 1 and 2.
Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
★ I've never had a relationship that lasted less than 3 months. So no.
However, Boyfriend and I are in an amazing long-lasting relationship and...are technically engaged. Just not officially. So if any of y'all want to come to the wedding you'll have to let me know.
Is there anyone you want to come see you?
★ Boyfriend. And Other Best Friend. I see Best Friend every day and she never sees me out of school anyway. So we just...derp around during classes and in the hall. Boyfriend = cuddles and wonderful adventures through Walmart and the woods behind my house. Other Best Friend = hug give and adventures throughout my kitchen.
Have you ever been cheated on?
★ Yes. Multiple times.
Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
★ Meh. I used to try giving things my all, but nothing meant as much to me ever before as Boyfriend does now. He's the only thing and person I give my all to. Because he is mine and it's going to stay that way because I am creepy and obsessed and clingy and I love him so shut your face. I'm going to marry Boyfriend one day even if he says he doesn't want to. He says he does but sometimes I think he doesn't but that's just my paranoid self.
But he does.
Do you like cotton candy?
★ God yes. Straight sugar.
Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?
★ Boyfriend.
Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
★ Yes. Boyfriend. He is comfortable and my personal pillow. And blanket. And bed in general.
How has the past week been for you?
★ Kinda stressful and not without panic attacks, however, I have Boyfriend and Best Friends so I am all okay. I hope.
What is your current mood?
★ Boyfriend-want. Boyfriend-need. Also laughing because Stalker 1 is talking to me about Boyfriend, and Stalker 1's ex over Skype and it's somewhat amusing because butts.
And that is how I died.
The end.
Lunch
I am currently at lunch with Best Friend. She is looking through another friend who sits here's Algebra book because she didn't do her homework. Or something.
Anyway this thing lets me write blogs but it won't let me like, read them. Or preview them. Or view my site. What the what.
We just found a phallic image in the book.
WONDERBARRRR
I should probably try to...well I can't remember what I was saying because I got distracted.
I should probably get off of this and see if it'll post because knowing this internet it probably won't. I would proxy or something but that would get me into *trouble* plus I'm just so gosh-darned lazy so that means I probably won't.
So have a picture of me and Best Friend.
Best Friend is on the left.
And yes, that is my face on the right.
We have magnificent mustaches.
Anyway this thing lets me write blogs but it won't let me like, read them. Or preview them. Or view my site. What the what.
We just found a phallic image in the book.
WONDERBARRRR
I should probably try to...well I can't remember what I was saying because I got distracted.
I should probably get off of this and see if it'll post because knowing this internet it probably won't. I would proxy or something but that would get me into *trouble* plus I'm just so gosh-darned lazy so that means I probably won't.
So have a picture of me and Best Friend.
Best Friend is on the left.
And yes, that is my face on the right.
We have magnificent mustaches.
Jimmy's Got Balls
So I'm watching this show called Yes, Dear and the episode is 'Jimmy's Got Balls' just in case you guys were wondering about the title.
Anyway this guy Jimmy borrows money from his friend and his wife or something and it's like $1,500, and he started a golf-ball retrieval business and bought the diving suit and everything.
But pretty soon, after the first day of getting $125 (25 cents a ball) from the balls in the lake, there's like, 10 balls in there because good people play the course because it's so hard and good people don't hit the balls into the water.
So he starts like, stalking people and whenever they hit the ball into the water he runs down there and gets it.
He also steals them.
This one guy hits the ball and it goes no where near the water, but Jimmy's son
is
dressed up
as a raccoon
and guys he just
crawls really fastlike onto the course and
steals the ball.
It may just be because it's 9:30 in the morning but guys I laughed so hard it's not even funny.
And NOW I go to school. Yay. We'll see if this is blocked there or not.
Anyway this guy Jimmy borrows money from his friend and his wife or something and it's like $1,500, and he started a golf-ball retrieval business and bought the diving suit and everything.
But pretty soon, after the first day of getting $125 (25 cents a ball) from the balls in the lake, there's like, 10 balls in there because good people play the course because it's so hard and good people don't hit the balls into the water.
So he starts like, stalking people and whenever they hit the ball into the water he runs down there and gets it.
He also steals them.
This one guy hits the ball and it goes no where near the water, but Jimmy's son
is
dressed up
as a raccoon
and guys he just
crawls really fastlike onto the course and
steals the ball.
It may just be because it's 9:30 in the morning but guys I laughed so hard it's not even funny.
And NOW I go to school. Yay. We'll see if this is blocked there or not.
Inception
Keep in mind that I'm tired as hell, so this probably won't be...very...well, good. I apologize. I will try my best to make sense and to not look retarded although I know all of this trying is in vain because I'll still look like an idiot and it'll probably turn from a ramble about a movie - since this isn't a review, just me being kinda sorta bored and needing to talk about something to someone to pass time - to just a ramble about nothing in particular. Since that's what always happens.
This past Friday I had nothing else to do so I figured, hey, let's watch Inception. And let's watch it on the internet. Since I don't have a car, I can't drive legally anyway and even if I could it was as cold and bitter as an icy hell out and I didn't want to go out in -10 degree weather just to go rent a movie plus pay for the gas to do so...especially if I didn't need anything else. The internet is free.
So I find this site, yeah, watch it.
While watching it, complaints that people have made about the movie come to my mind. Everyone (or, rather, 99% of the people) that has watched this and talked to me about it have said that they can't follow the movie. All I can say to that is...how do you not get this?
It may just be me, but I actually found it pretty easy to understand the layers of the dream, how it worked, and everything else wrapped up in the inner-dreamstate package.
That being said, there are a few things that I believe could have been explained a bit better - namely, the amount of time given in each dream per layer you go down/fall asleep/dream inside a dream. I know 5 minutes = a couple hours in the next dream, but it seems like a lot of people cannot seem to grasp that the amount of time will multiply (like a day or so turning into a week or ten days of dreamtime) because while watching it my mother seemed to like to lean over my shoulder, and listen in a lot. As did half of the people in the house.
Anyway.
The movie, I thought, was awesome. The changing of the dreams was pretty rad.
oh god I just used 'rad' someone needs to hit me now
Best Friend, you need to smack me for this. I may be a 90's child but 'rad' is something that should have been left as soon as the year hit 2k.
I need to leave in like, five minutes.
I've been procrastinating brushing my hair and doing other things that I need to do. So I'll...finish this? Maybe. I don't know. Probably not. I'll just come back here to my grandparents today and complain and ramble some more about how ridiculous everything is today. I hate school but I love it at the same time. I fucking hate Chem class though. It's fun but it seems like forever since it runs from 12:02-12:42. Which is when I would have had lunch two years ago, and when I usually eat 'lunch' during weekends and summer (if I'm awake) so it's just all aksfjsaklgjs I need food but I really eat at like, 10:40-11:14 so it's like what the hell, this isn't lunch this is a late breakfast at best why do you guys make us eat so early.
Just be ready for me to tell more horrid stories of my horrid childhood that are in no way funny but for some reason some people think they're entertaining.
So uh until then I'll just go to school.
we are farmers bum ba da da duh duh dum
This past Friday I had nothing else to do so I figured, hey, let's watch Inception. And let's watch it on the internet. Since I don't have a car, I can't drive legally anyway and even if I could it was as cold and bitter as an icy hell out and I didn't want to go out in -10 degree weather just to go rent a movie plus pay for the gas to do so...especially if I didn't need anything else. The internet is free.
So I find this site, yeah, watch it.
While watching it, complaints that people have made about the movie come to my mind. Everyone (or, rather, 99% of the people) that has watched this and talked to me about it have said that they can't follow the movie. All I can say to that is...how do you not get this?
It may just be me, but I actually found it pretty easy to understand the layers of the dream, how it worked, and everything else wrapped up in the inner-dreamstate package.
That being said, there are a few things that I believe could have been explained a bit better - namely, the amount of time given in each dream per layer you go down/fall asleep/dream inside a dream. I know 5 minutes = a couple hours in the next dream, but it seems like a lot of people cannot seem to grasp that the amount of time will multiply (like a day or so turning into a week or ten days of dreamtime) because while watching it my mother seemed to like to lean over my shoulder, and listen in a lot. As did half of the people in the house.
Anyway.
The movie, I thought, was awesome. The changing of the dreams was pretty rad.
oh god I just used 'rad' someone needs to hit me now
Best Friend, you need to smack me for this. I may be a 90's child but 'rad' is something that should have been left as soon as the year hit 2k.
I need to leave in like, five minutes.
I've been procrastinating brushing my hair and doing other things that I need to do. So I'll...finish this? Maybe. I don't know. Probably not. I'll just come back here to my grandparents today and complain and ramble some more about how ridiculous everything is today. I hate school but I love it at the same time. I fucking hate Chem class though. It's fun but it seems like forever since it runs from 12:02-12:42. Which is when I would have had lunch two years ago, and when I usually eat 'lunch' during weekends and summer (if I'm awake) so it's just all aksfjsaklgjs I need food but I really eat at like, 10:40-11:14 so it's like what the hell, this isn't lunch this is a late breakfast at best why do you guys make us eat so early.
Just be ready for me to tell more horrid stories of my horrid childhood that are in no way funny but for some reason some people think they're entertaining.
So uh until then I'll just go to school.
we are farmers bum ba da da duh duh dum
Goddammit. II
I just woke up not too long ago, looked at the clock and saw it was about 7. Which means I was asleep for four hours. I'm kinda tired, mostly pissy, and I need sleep, but I realized that I probably won't be getting any sleep until tonight. Since, you know. I have a feeling the two hours of delay that I have will be spent going to dumb places on the internet and laughing (somewhat hysterically) at those dumb things (yet still there will be nothing to do on the internet, and I will complain about it instead of doing anything different), eating biscuits, taking my medication, playing with my grandparents' neighbor's dog and generally doing everything but sleeping.
However, now I must make said track to my grandparents. My parents of parents of grand. Of grandness.
Anywho, I'm in the RAV now, riding over icy roads and having to listen to my brother's shitty-ass music that pissses me off to listen to normally but this morning it's really bothering me because I swear to ALLAH that the only thing this guy is saying is 'IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD, I THINK ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN' and he keeps 'singing' (more like mumbling it out like a retarded seal) it over, and over, and over and fucking OVER again. Goddammit, I'm so angry this morning.
This is when I put in my earbuds and start listening to...
...I WANT TO RECONCILE THE VIOLENCE IN YOUR HEART, I WANT TO RECOGNIZE YOUR BEAUTY IS NOT JUST A MASK. I love Muse. So sue me.
Wooooo I'm on the road parallel to the clusterfuck of traintracks. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I am a snake for some reason. Actually that was just because of the turn. I had to hold my laptop and it just so happened my finger hit the 's' key.
Typing in a car is hard.
Wait. Typing in a MOVING car is hard.
Far away from the memoriiiiiies, of the people who caaaare if I live or diiiiie.
MY LIIIIIFE YOU ELECTRIFY MYYY LIIIIFE.
Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm a Muse-a-holic. I've been one for years now.
Please help me. Or not. Actually, don't. I'm pretty fine with my musical obsessions right now.
I just realized; I'm hungry. I haven't eaten much since probably 8 last night, which is really late for me to eat, but oh well. My stomach hurts, though, so I'm afraid to eat. Baww. Maybe Grandmother will make me some biscuits. Oh, biscuits, how I love you.
I'm almost there time to put laptop away and everything.
Okay so I'm back, and with biscuits, muthafuckas. They're kinda tough and chewy but that's okay. They still taste absolutely amazing and warm and I never ever ever get breakfast, so this is awesome. Never mind, it was just that one biscuit that was kinda tough. The other half of it and the other biscuit are perfect, guys.
I wonder if there's anything to drink. I need something to drink since I need to take my medication but I don't really want to stand up and go into the basement to check, partly because I believe with all of my heart and soul that there's nothing down there to be...drank...drunk...something.
Also, Saved By The Bell is on and it's really awkward. That one chick Kelly keeps kissing Slater and I'm just like GODDAMMIT THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO SEE/HEAR THIS MORNING. STOP IT DAMMIT STOP IT. I HATE THIS SHOW. I KNOW SOMETIMES IT'S FUNNY, BUT IT'S JUST ANNOYING RIGHT NOW.
And there was this really creepy 5-hour-energy commercial on and the lady drinks it so that she wants to work out and she does and at the end of the commercial it zooms in on her face and she's just like, LET'S DO THIS and I'm like oh jesus god no.
I checked YouTube for it, but they only had this one.
However, now I must make said track to my grandparents. My parents of parents of grand. Of grandness.
Anywho, I'm in the RAV now, riding over icy roads and having to listen to my brother's shitty-ass music that pissses me off to listen to normally but this morning it's really bothering me because I swear to ALLAH that the only thing this guy is saying is 'IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD, I THINK ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN' and he keeps 'singing' (more like mumbling it out like a retarded seal) it over, and over, and over and fucking OVER again. Goddammit, I'm so angry this morning.
This is when I put in my earbuds and start listening to...
...I WANT TO RECONCILE THE VIOLENCE IN YOUR HEART, I WANT TO RECOGNIZE YOUR BEAUTY IS NOT JUST A MASK. I love Muse. So sue me.
Wooooo I'm on the road parallel to the clusterfuck of traintracks. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I am a snake for some reason. Actually that was just because of the turn. I had to hold my laptop and it just so happened my finger hit the 's' key.
Typing in a car is hard.
Wait. Typing in a MOVING car is hard.
Far away from the memoriiiiiies, of the people who caaaare if I live or diiiiie.
MY LIIIIIFE YOU ELECTRIFY MYYY LIIIIFE.
Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm a Muse-a-holic. I've been one for years now.
Please help me. Or not. Actually, don't. I'm pretty fine with my musical obsessions right now.
I just realized; I'm hungry. I haven't eaten much since probably 8 last night, which is really late for me to eat, but oh well. My stomach hurts, though, so I'm afraid to eat. Baww. Maybe Grandmother will make me some biscuits. Oh, biscuits, how I love you.
I'm almost there time to put laptop away and everything.
Okay so I'm back, and with biscuits, muthafuckas. They're kinda tough and chewy but that's okay. They still taste absolutely amazing and warm and I never ever ever get breakfast, so this is awesome. Never mind, it was just that one biscuit that was kinda tough. The other half of it and the other biscuit are perfect, guys.
I wonder if there's anything to drink. I need something to drink since I need to take my medication but I don't really want to stand up and go into the basement to check, partly because I believe with all of my heart and soul that there's nothing down there to be...drank...drunk...something.
Also, Saved By The Bell is on and it's really awkward. That one chick Kelly keeps kissing Slater and I'm just like GODDAMMIT THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO SEE/HEAR THIS MORNING. STOP IT DAMMIT STOP IT. I HATE THIS SHOW. I KNOW SOMETIMES IT'S FUNNY, BUT IT'S JUST ANNOYING RIGHT NOW.
And there was this really creepy 5-hour-energy commercial on and the lady drinks it so that she wants to work out and she does and at the end of the commercial it zooms in on her face and she's just like, LET'S DO THIS and I'm like oh jesus god no.
I checked YouTube for it, but they only had this one.
Let's do this.
Jesus fucking CHRIST I was actually going to sleep, but my idiot brother took the couch, the spare bedroom downstairs smells like his BO or whatever the hell, and I'm not going upstairs because I'll lose all track of time since there are no windows in the two upstairs bedrooms. Plus I haven't been up there since Boyfriend has. Which has been about a month now. I don't like this house, it smells of smoke and basically gives me an asthma problem every single time I walk in.
Asthma attack = me freaking out = panic attack. So much fun, guys.
Gahhh.
Whatever.
I have to be in school in an hour and a half. Major do not want. Ughhhh why can't they just cancel. I'm so sleeepyyyy. Best Friend? Other Best Friend? Boyfriend? Make me sleep before midnight. All of you have to harass me about this.
...But I do have major insomnia so I'd wind up not sleeping until like, 3AM, or I'd sleep a couple hours and just wake up and lay there forever until it's time to wake up and then I'll just be upset even more. And I'm already really tired and I don't need to be more tired.
I'm so tired and sleepy ahhhh.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My Bed Is Warm
Sooo it's currently 2:30 and I have to find a way to kill some time until Boyfriend gets his butt comfortable and warm in bed and I can talk to him.
So I'm just going to ramble again until he does so and until I'm able to.
Guys, my bed is so warm and soft. I don't want to leave it. However, I have to pee, so this may be a bit of a problem. Never mind. Decided that the need to pee was greater than the desire to stay in a warm, cozy bed. It's...kinda nice to be really cold, though, and then crawl back into a warm bed to get warm again. Warm warm warm. Warm. Did I say it enough? Warm.
I have like, a comforter, sheet, down blanket, three fleece blankets (maybe four? I dunno) and a knitted/woven/something wool and polyester and something else that's really warm and soft blanket all on my bed.
Simply put; my bed is really, really toasty right now. I just wish Boyfriend was here so that I would have something to cuddle. But as for now, I only have the big comfortable, soft, squishy body pillow that he got me for Christmas to squeeze and hold and becreepy to cuddly with. Soon he'll be here though, and then I can be all creepy cuddly with him.
God, guys. It's like, 2:42. I still have to murder and bury roughly ten minutes. I really need to go to sleep now, but I also need to talk to Boyfriend. I know I'll have enough time to talk to him between now and the rest of forever, but goddammit, I need my loves goodnight. Not even sleep will get in the way of this now, nuh uh.
Must get bedtime I love yous. Because I'm a creepy, clingy, needy, lovey girlfriend. Yes.
Also, Other Best Friend, even if it's cold, you still need your sleep, so I'd appreciate it if you tried to sleep.
Okay.
Got my bedtime ilys.
TIME FOR SLEEP
FINALLY
I am so boned for tomorrow.
Fuck.
So I'm just going to ramble again until he does so and until I'm able to.
Guys, my bed is so warm and soft. I don't want to leave it. However, I have to pee, so this may be a bit of a problem. Never mind. Decided that the need to pee was greater than the desire to stay in a warm, cozy bed. It's...kinda nice to be really cold, though, and then crawl back into a warm bed to get warm again. Warm warm warm. Warm. Did I say it enough? Warm.
I have like, a comforter, sheet, down blanket, three fleece blankets (maybe four? I dunno) and a knitted/woven/something wool and polyester and something else that's really warm and soft blanket all on my bed.
Simply put; my bed is really, really toasty right now. I just wish Boyfriend was here so that I would have something to cuddle. But as for now, I only have the big comfortable, soft, squishy body pillow that he got me for Christmas to squeeze and hold and be
God, guys. It's like, 2:42. I still have to murder and bury roughly ten minutes. I really need to go to sleep now, but I also need to talk to Boyfriend. I know I'll have enough time to talk to him between now and the rest of forever, but goddammit, I need my loves goodnight. Not even sleep will get in the way of this now, nuh uh.
Must get bedtime I love yous. Because I'm a creepy, clingy, needy, lovey girlfriend. Yes.
Also, Other Best Friend, even if it's cold, you still need your sleep, so I'd appreciate it if you tried to sleep.
Okay.
Got my bedtime ilys.
TIME FOR SLEEP
FINALLY
I am so boned for tomorrow.
Fuck.
Goddammit. Also, Boyfriend
god it's so late/early/whatever so I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but since when do the things I post make sense anyway
This is going to be like, jumping from kinda-makes-sense to makes sense to mushy lovey stuff to me swearing like, a lot. And there's going to be times where I just stop giving a fuck about grammar and spelling so just bear with me here.
It's 12:32AM and I have class this morning and even though it's a 2-hour-delay due to the -5 degree temperature I need to fucking sleep, dammit. I STILL NEED TO BE UP BY SEVEN which may seem not-early to a lot of people but it takes me like five minutes to get ready, I wake up and it's like LOLCLOTHES LOLDEODORANT LOLTEETHBRUSHING LOLHAIRBRUSHING LOLMEDICATION and then I'm out the door, muthafuckas I don't even eat breakfast 99.99999% of the time. Even on weekends since I'm usually asleep until like, 2-3PM. I mean, I normally go to bed around this time (12:30-1AMish) but I slept until like 4PM today so I've only really been awake like, 8 hours what the fuck is wrong with me.
It probably doesn't help that I stay up Friday and Saturday nights until like, 6AM though. That's definitely part of the problem there. The main part of the problem is that I'm retarded. Yet, somehow, Boyfriend loves me anyway. How. I'm annoying and stupid and unfunny and not attractive at all yet he insists I am. I disagree most of the time but it makes me feel bad to disagree. Especially with him. When he's sad, I'm sad. Or sadder.
Oh, hey. Sadder's a word now.
Boyfriend is irrelevant to this post though. I think. I don't know. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, class. And me being up so late and me typing this isn't helping the 'defeating the insomnia' and the whole 'sleeping' thing and I need to sleep but I want to type and I want to talk to Boyfriend and ahhhhhhhh I want to scream but that would be a bad idea since Mom is asleep down the hall and plus I don't think I could scream even if I wanted to, even if I needed to because my voice simply does not go that high. And I just heard a door open and I'm afraid it's Mom and oh god. I'm the most paranoid person I know. And I know a lot of people. Or, at least know of them, and JESUS GOD I know not one person who freaks out as much as I do over stuff. Like. I swear I'll have a panic attack every single day without good reason. Or without reason at all. I'm also a major hypochondriac. I swear to god I'm scared I'm going to let my guard down for five fucking seconds and then I'll be BOOM DEAD. And the whole 'paranoia panic attacks' plus 'hypochondriac' doesn't mix together well.
Mole that's a little swollen because I scratched it and it's trying to heal? CANCER
Period won't stop after a week? I'M GONNA BLEED OUT
Period doesn't come on time? OH GOD I'M PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING SEXUAL, EVER.
Sharp pains in my chest? I WAS SHOT AND I DIDN'T REALIZE IT
God I think something's wrong with me. I mean, other than the insanity thing and the whole hypochondria and agoraphobia and paranoia and all that stuff. Jesus GOD.
And now I'm going to get like five hours of sleep tonight which is actually kinda normal on class nights and I suppose that I can sleep for another hour and a half tomorrow morning whenever I have to go to my grandparents before school so that I actually have a ride because I'm scared to take another permit test because I don't want to fail goddammit I give up on something if I fail the first time there's definitely something wrong with me.
And I get scared whenever someone's even a little bit agitated. I always take it personally. Especially with Best Friend and even more so with Boyfriend. I'm just like oh god, I don't know what to say, please don't kill me and they're like AHHHHH and I'm like AHHHHHH OH GOD and so I try to say something but typically make it worse and then everyone feels bad and then I want to cry. And I usually do hey I have emotions so you can go fuck yourself. The emotions thing kinda sucks sometimes since I get really upset over small things, but that's also the paranoia kicking in.
I say I'm sorry about everything even if it's not my fault. I mean, I know it's not my fault, but I can't help it. I have to say I'm sorry because even if it's not my fault then it feels like it is and I'll feel even worse if I don't just keep saying I'M SORRY to everyone because. Yeah. I'm retarded I think.
Whenever it's Best Friend I'm like oh god I'm so sorry did I do something should I hug you and Best Friend is fine within an hour or so and I know Best Friend is irritable and wants to be by herself a lot of the times in the mornings lately BUT I CANNOT HELP IT, YOU FEEL BAD I MUST HELP. And with Boyfriend I'm like I love you oh god I'm so so so so so sosososososo sorry should I just shut up? I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T HATE ME and then I cry because when I can't cheer people up, especially Boyfriend, I get sad. Because I love him and I'm also pathetic.
Also I get moody and upset over the stupidest things. Like, someone is upset and says they don't understand me? CUE WATERWORKS. Someone says something to me that doesn't even pertain to me and yet it seems like it does? Cue bawwage. Someone is upset and swears while talking to me? I get so fucking upset it's not even funny. Yet I don't let anyone know about it. What's wrong with me.
Anyway it's like, 12:57 but the clock on my school laptop is totally off by like 6-7 minutes so it's probably only like, 10 minutes until 1AM but I can't help but go by what it says.
Also my head hurts and it's been hurting kinda on and offish now for about a week and all I can think of is oh god, brain tumor because my mom had a tumor behind her eye so now whenever I feel pain around/behind my eyes it's all I can think about and ahhh.
And now I must cue the emoshitness because I love Boyfriend and though it sounds so cliché and stuff to say this, he saved me, even though he may not believe me when I say that, he did. I had no future even though I wanted one and hoped for one and after a past full of retarded abusive boyfriends and a horrible stepdad who combined basically made me lose all hope in guys, he came along and scooped me up after I had been thrown out so many times and basically felt unloved by everyone. I was never told 'I love you' except for the very rare occasion on my birthday or something, so I guess I'm just creepy and clingy andsorta obsessive over Boyfriend but he makes me feel good. He makes me feel loved and needed and wanted and I've never felt those things before. Ever. I just want to make him feel those things, too, forever. And he constantly tells me he'll make sure I'm never tossed aside again. I can't wait to marry Boyfriend. He is perfect. /cliché He doesn't believe me but he is. At least to me. And he always will be so.
He's my perfect ball of happiness and stuff that makes me happy whenever I'm feeling bad. So fuck y'all. He's my happy-giver and it's going to always stay that way. At least I hope. I want it to. Really really bad. But again I'm a pathetic paranoid person. Even though I know it'll turn out as us always having one another I'm constantly like OH GOD, WHAT IF I SAY SOMETHING STUPID, WHAT IF I GET FIRED even though I don't have a job
god I'm retarded
And I hope Boyfriend doesn't mind me referring to him as 'Boyfriend' and if he does mind I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm going to hug and kiss and cling to you forever as soon as I see you again I love you I love you <3
I can't stop listening to Muse, more specifically 'Resistance', I think I have a problem
Anyways I need to go to bed but I don't fucking want to so. Ughhhh I hate Mondays
Wednesdays suck, too. I hope class is canceled. It's like -10 right now without windchill so I'm just hoping. Since, y'know, you can't have the kiddies standing outside in -10 degree weather waiting for the buses at 9AM, but you can totally have the highschoolers out there at 5:30-6AM when it's still dark and it's snowing and it's like -59045836 degrees and everyone knows highschoolers only wear t-shirts and a random type of pants or skirt even in the winter. Seriously guys.
The roads are shit just cancel school.
Also...'Canceled'? That just doesn't look right. Does it look wrong or is it just me? I mean. Really.
So it's like, 1:20
Fuck.
This is going to be like, jumping from kinda-makes-sense to makes sense to mushy lovey stuff to me swearing like, a lot. And there's going to be times where I just stop giving a fuck about grammar and spelling so just bear with me here.
It's 12:32AM and I have class this morning and even though it's a 2-hour-delay due to the -5 degree temperature I need to fucking sleep, dammit. I STILL NEED TO BE UP BY SEVEN which may seem not-early to a lot of people but it takes me like five minutes to get ready, I wake up and it's like LOLCLOTHES LOLDEODORANT LOLTEETHBRUSHING LOLHAIRBRUSHING LOLMEDICATION and then I'm out the door, muthafuckas I don't even eat breakfast 99.99999% of the time. Even on weekends since I'm usually asleep until like, 2-3PM. I mean, I normally go to bed around this time (12:30-1AMish) but I slept until like 4PM today so I've only really been awake like, 8 hours what the fuck is wrong with me.
It probably doesn't help that I stay up Friday and Saturday nights until like, 6AM though. That's definitely part of the problem there. The main part of the problem is that I'm retarded. Yet, somehow, Boyfriend loves me anyway. How. I'm annoying and stupid and unfunny and not attractive at all yet he insists I am. I disagree most of the time but it makes me feel bad to disagree. Especially with him. When he's sad, I'm sad. Or sadder.
Oh, hey. Sadder's a word now.
Boyfriend is irrelevant to this post though. I think. I don't know. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, class. And me being up so late and me typing this isn't helping the 'defeating the insomnia' and the whole 'sleeping' thing and I need to sleep but I want to type and I want to talk to Boyfriend and ahhhhhhhh I want to scream but that would be a bad idea since Mom is asleep down the hall and plus I don't think I could scream even if I wanted to, even if I needed to because my voice simply does not go that high. And I just heard a door open and I'm afraid it's Mom and oh god. I'm the most paranoid person I know. And I know a lot of people. Or, at least know of them, and JESUS GOD I know not one person who freaks out as much as I do over stuff. Like. I swear I'll have a panic attack every single day without good reason. Or without reason at all. I'm also a major hypochondriac. I swear to god I'm scared I'm going to let my guard down for five fucking seconds and then I'll be BOOM DEAD. And the whole 'paranoia panic attacks' plus 'hypochondriac' doesn't mix together well.
Mole that's a little swollen because I scratched it and it's trying to heal? CANCER
Period won't stop after a week? I'M GONNA BLEED OUT
Period doesn't come on time? OH GOD I'M PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING SEXUAL, EVER.
Sharp pains in my chest? I WAS SHOT AND I DIDN'T REALIZE IT
God I think something's wrong with me. I mean, other than the insanity thing and the whole hypochondria and agoraphobia and paranoia and all that stuff. Jesus GOD.
And now I'm going to get like five hours of sleep tonight which is actually kinda normal on class nights and I suppose that I can sleep for another hour and a half tomorrow morning whenever I have to go to my grandparents before school so that I actually have a ride because I'm scared to take another permit test because I don't want to fail goddammit I give up on something if I fail the first time there's definitely something wrong with me.
And I get scared whenever someone's even a little bit agitated. I always take it personally. Especially with Best Friend and even more so with Boyfriend. I'm just like oh god, I don't know what to say, please don't kill me and they're like AHHHHH and I'm like AHHHHHH OH GOD and so I try to say something but typically make it worse and then everyone feels bad and then I want to cry. And I usually do hey I have emotions so you can go fuck yourself. The emotions thing kinda sucks sometimes since I get really upset over small things, but that's also the paranoia kicking in.
I say I'm sorry about everything even if it's not my fault. I mean, I know it's not my fault, but I can't help it. I have to say I'm sorry because even if it's not my fault then it feels like it is and I'll feel even worse if I don't just keep saying I'M SORRY to everyone because. Yeah. I'm retarded I think.
Whenever it's Best Friend I'm like oh god I'm so sorry did I do something should I hug you and Best Friend is fine within an hour or so and I know Best Friend is irritable and wants to be by herself a lot of the times in the mornings lately BUT I CANNOT HELP IT, YOU FEEL BAD I MUST HELP. And with Boyfriend I'm like I love you oh god I'm so so so so so sosososososo sorry should I just shut up? I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T HATE ME and then I cry because when I can't cheer people up, especially Boyfriend, I get sad. Because I love him and I'm also pathetic.
Also I get moody and upset over the stupidest things. Like, someone is upset and says they don't understand me? CUE WATERWORKS. Someone says something to me that doesn't even pertain to me and yet it seems like it does? Cue bawwage. Someone is upset and swears while talking to me? I get so fucking upset it's not even funny. Yet I don't let anyone know about it. What's wrong with me.
Anyway it's like, 12:57 but the clock on my school laptop is totally off by like 6-7 minutes so it's probably only like, 10 minutes until 1AM but I can't help but go by what it says.
Also my head hurts and it's been hurting kinda on and offish now for about a week and all I can think of is oh god, brain tumor because my mom had a tumor behind her eye so now whenever I feel pain around/behind my eyes it's all I can think about and ahhh.
And now I must cue the emoshitness because I love Boyfriend and though it sounds so cliché and stuff to say this, he saved me, even though he may not believe me when I say that, he did. I had no future even though I wanted one and hoped for one and after a past full of retarded abusive boyfriends and a horrible stepdad who combined basically made me lose all hope in guys, he came along and scooped me up after I had been thrown out so many times and basically felt unloved by everyone. I was never told 'I love you' except for the very rare occasion on my birthday or something, so I guess I'm just creepy and clingy and
He's my perfect ball of happiness and stuff that makes me happy whenever I'm feeling bad. So fuck y'all. He's my happy-giver and it's going to always stay that way. At least I hope. I want it to. Really really bad. But again I'm a pathetic paranoid person. Even though I know it'll turn out as us always having one another I'm constantly like OH GOD, WHAT IF I SAY SOMETHING STUPID, WHAT IF I GET FIRED even though I don't have a job
god I'm retarded
And I hope Boyfriend doesn't mind me referring to him as 'Boyfriend' and if he does mind I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm going to hug and kiss and cling to you forever as soon as I see you again I love you I love you <3
I can't stop listening to Muse, more specifically 'Resistance', I think I have a problem
Anyways I need to go to bed but I don't fucking want to so. Ughhhh I hate Mondays
Wednesdays suck, too. I hope class is canceled. It's like -10 right now without windchill so I'm just hoping. Since, y'know, you can't have the kiddies standing outside in -10 degree weather waiting for the buses at 9AM, but you can totally have the highschoolers out there at 5:30-6AM when it's still dark and it's snowing and it's like -59045836 degrees and everyone knows highschoolers only wear t-shirts and a random type of pants or skirt even in the winter. Seriously guys.
The roads are shit just cancel school.
Also...'Canceled'? That just doesn't look right. Does it look wrong or is it just me? I mean. Really.
So it's like, 1:20
Fuck.
Smokey
I used to have a dog. She was adorable and liked to eat socks.
Staring sadly, yet somehow contentedly, at a wall. Like she was in some great staring contest. She was absolutely adorable, and the fluffiest of all the puppies. She did, however, seem to be a bit retarded, and that could be a problem in the future, but it wasn't then. She was the most cute retarded puppy thing I had ever seen, ever.
I fell in love with this puppy immediately.
I needed to take this puppy home. I needed to love her, and pet her, and play with her. To teach her the ways of the wild, how to defend our home and our family, and how to go for the crotch if all else failed.
I pointed this dog out to my mother, who also decided that the dog that would soon come to be known as Smokey, was the most adorable and that we definitely had to take it home. My mother and I knew that she would be the perfect addition to our new 'family'.
She seemed pretty alright with it, considering she did just eat piles of her own stomach juices and contents. Repeatedly.
She seemed alright with it until she had to take a bath, anyway. That's when it all turned bad. We were running the water and she was like OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY WHAT IS IT I WANT TO SEE IT LET ME IN I WANT TO PLAY IN IT OH BOY until we actually put her in there. That's when she got all SADFACE:( and whined and cried.
But we made her deal with it. She had eaten her own puke and it was time to pay the consequences for being messy.
That night, after we had all eaten dinner, and gotten Smokey settled in, it was time for bed. My brother was saying he wanted the dog to stay in his room, and I, having Sam (the cat) in my room nearly every night, didn't bother to fight him.
So Smokey stayed with my brother, and the next morning his bed, floors, and lower parts of his wall were smeared and covered with more dog vomit.
When did she eat spaghetti?
Above: Retardedly adorable puppy.
A mixture of German Shepard, Husky, wolf and Labrador, she was like a horse. I swear to GOD this dog's feet were as large as my hands used to be. She also seemed to like to be an idiot, but I don't think she did this on purpose. It was just who she was. She enjoyed being herself.
I guess I should tell you about why we decided to get a dog. We already had a vicious hellcat (and he's still with us, 9 years old and still an asshole, as Boyfriend and Best Friend can attest to), but we figured that since we lived in a rural area that we had never really lived in before and thus didn't know anyone or anything about the town or whatever that it would be good to have a dog. A big one, preferably, as to ward off any potential attackers, or rapists, or anyone who would climb in our windows and snatch our people up.
So we began searching through ads in the paper, and online, for dogs for sale or up for adoption in and around our area. We found a guy who was adopting out my dog and her siblings, free to a good home, so we were like 'hurrdurr let's get one' so we hopped into the SUV and drove an hour and a half to get this goddamned puppy.
Once we got there, the guy was like 'HEY THE DOGS ARE IN THE BARN, I'LL SHOW YOU THEM' so we went out to the barn and there were tons of puppies just roaming and playing on buckets and in hay and they were all like HEY WE'RE PUPPIES and I was like I FUCKING LOVE PUPPIES and they were like LOL I LOVE YOU and I was all LOL I LOVE YOU TOO LET ME STEAL YOU.
There were all of the normal puppies, but then, there was her.
Staring sadly, yet somehow contentedly, at a wall. Like she was in some great staring contest. She was absolutely adorable, and the fluffiest of all the puppies. She did, however, seem to be a bit retarded, and that could be a problem in the future, but it wasn't then. She was the most cute retarded puppy thing I had ever seen, ever.
I fell in love with this puppy immediately.
I pointed this dog out to my mother, who also decided that the dog that would soon come to be known as Smokey, was the most adorable and that we definitely had to take it home. My mother and I knew that she would be the perfect addition to our new 'family'.
So we put her in the very back of the SUV, after folding down all of the seats and stuff. My brother and I sat in the middle row since we still needed to be buckled up, but we wanted to pet the dog. And watch her. And be creepy.
The creepiness part seemed to work, since she was perfectly fine before my brother and I started to stare at her.
That's when she started to whine. And cry, and whine some more. She even threw in a bit of barking and growling and howling for good measure. After awhile, though, she seemed to calm down, and she laid down in the back of the SUV, and we all assumed she went to sleep. My brother and I looked back at her a few times just to make sure she didn't die of Sudden Puppy Death Syndrome, but she was fine every time so we stopped checking on her so much (AKA, every three minutes).
It all seemed to be going well until we made it into town; we were maybe 8-10 minutes from our house at this point, but we were stuck at a traffic light because people don't know how to drive and someone was just sitting out in the middle of the street all LOL HOW DO I CAR? so we had to sit there for a few minutes. All was good, until this happened.
Above: BLARGHGHFDKJSKDFJAKLSGJADK
We looked back after hearing this absolutely horrid sound, and it turns out that she had vomited all over the back of the SUV. She then decided that she was going to eat all of the magical food that she had somehow produced ~*magically*~. Which just made her throw up more. She did this countless times before we were able to stop her, since my brother and I didn't want to touch vomit-y dog and my stepdad or mom would have yelled had we climbed into the back and tried to stop her.
So by the time we got home, the back of the SUV was relatively clean, but we had a very vomit-y mess of a dog.
She seemed pretty alright with it, considering she did just eat piles of her own stomach juices and contents. Repeatedly.
She seemed alright with it until she had to take a bath, anyway. That's when it all turned bad. We were running the water and she was like OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY WHAT IS IT I WANT TO SEE IT LET ME IN I WANT TO PLAY IN IT OH BOY until we actually put her in there. That's when she got all SADFACE:( and whined and cried.
But we made her deal with it. She had eaten her own puke and it was time to pay the consequences for being messy.
That night, after we had all eaten dinner, and gotten Smokey settled in, it was time for bed. My brother was saying he wanted the dog to stay in his room, and I, having Sam (the cat) in my room nearly every night, didn't bother to fight him.
So Smokey stayed with my brother, and the next morning his bed, floors, and lower parts of his wall were smeared and covered with more dog vomit.
We got that cleaned up, and my brother decided that he wanted to play with the Gamecube, which was located in my bedroom. So, I'm like okay, whatever, just don't go through my stuff, play your game and get out and so he did.
For some unexplained reason, Smokey seemed to like to throw up around my brother as much as possible. Whether it was some smell he gave off, or she just didn't like him, she'd always find a way to get near him or one of his possessions and throw up all to hell on, around, and if possible, in it.
My brother playing Gamecube, blissfully unaware of his surroundings and what was going on in them, was the perfect way for Smokey to throw up without him noticing her gagging and making all sorts of horrible sounds, because he'd have the TV up to like, 80 playing his games.
So, Smokey saw him sitting on the floor, walked over, and, without a second thought, threw up all over the controller - and his hands.
I hear my brother screaming, yelling, and calling the dog 'stupid' and other such names, so I run up to my room and ask him what's wrong.
His only response?
When did she eat spaghetti?
This is how we found out she had worms.
That One Time I Got The Flu
As told in my last post, I moved about 6 years ago, 5 hours and 350+ miles away, bladda bladda bladda, how I had to attend a new school, yadda yadda yad. However, what I did not get in to was the time I got the flu, and...well.
After attending my new school for about two weeks, I had already gained a 'best friend' (yet later on she kicked my cat and called him stupid so I locked her outside when it was about 40 degrees until my mom got home at like 9 at night I was such an ass) but was growing tired of her because all she ever did was bitch and moan about not having a boyfriend and I was like what the fuck we're in fifth grade but then I thought boyfriend = relationship, long relationship = sex and that just reminded me of those nights in the hotel and I just stopped worrying about it there altogether.
After the cat incident, I soon made a new best friend, and we...still are best friends. But her being my friend led to me having even more friends, namely, Tyler, Austin, and that one kid Brock that no one really liked but he hung around anyway because it seemed as if he was lacking in mental capacity. Or something. No one knew why but he just kept following us around all the god damned TIME and it was fucking annoying, you guys.
Anyway, because of these newfangled 'friend' things - things of which I really hadn't had much of before the move at all - I was opened up and had a bigger chance of catching bugs (and not the little crawly kind that some kids like to eat for some reason).
This is where the flu comes in. And not just the flu, but the stomach flu.
Best Friend hadn't come to school for awhile and I was genuinely worried. Worried about her, if she had contracted some sort of deadly flesh-eating virus, if she broke her bones, or if she had died. But, I was also worried that had she caught something less-deadly and more annoying and contagious, that I would get it. Because you know, we're bros.
But, Best Friend came back a couple of days later, having been out maybe four total, and I forgot about it. Until it happened.
I remember coming home one day, maybe a month or five weeks or something after moving there, and was all chilling out on the couch and shit, with my mom on the other part of the sectional, when I was like 'oh god I don't feel good' but ignored the feeling because I'm retarded.
I then bent over, and promptly threw up.
Thus causing my mother to do a leap off of the couch, trying to catch my vomit with a blanket.
Such a lovely mental image.
However, she caught it and we avoided having to scrub the carpets.
I still felt like utter shit though, so I got to go sit in the bathroom. I thought, hey, y'know, maybe this will all be over soon. Oh god, oh sweet JESUS I was UTTERLY and HORRIBLY WRONG. It turns out that I wasn't blessed with having the stomach flu for only 24-48 hours - oh no, that would have been too easy - but I instead got the gift of having it for nearly 8 days. Over a week, y'all. A week of retching and being sore from doing so, and many times passing out because of fever.
I asked my mom if I was going to die, and she simply said, "I don't know." At that point, I just slouched over the toilet and tossed some more of my cookies.
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS FOR BOOSTING A YOUNG CHILD'S SPIRITS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO DIE.
Eventually, the bug spread to my mom, because she had to take care of me, and also to my brother. I couldn't go to my grandparents, because y'know they're old and so have weaker immune systems and we didn't need to get them sick, either. Plus they were like, 350 miles away because they still lived in Virginia. So I was stuck at home for almost two weeks because of that shit. It sucked.
But I kept teasing my brother, saying that there was a monster that lived in the toilet and that it was going to eat him if he turned his back.
He pretended to not believe me, but I knew he really did.
I could hear his terrified sobs through the bathroom door when I walked by.
But then I went back to school.
After attending my new school for about two weeks, I had already gained a 'best friend' (yet later on she kicked my cat and called him stupid so I locked her outside when it was about 40 degrees until my mom got home at like 9 at night I was such an ass) but was growing tired of her because all she ever did was bitch and moan about not having a boyfriend and I was like what the fuck we're in fifth grade but then I thought boyfriend = relationship, long relationship = sex and that just reminded me of those nights in the hotel and I just stopped worrying about it there altogether.
After the cat incident, I soon made a new best friend, and we...still are best friends. But her being my friend led to me having even more friends, namely, Tyler, Austin, and that one kid Brock that no one really liked but he hung around anyway because it seemed as if he was lacking in mental capacity. Or something. No one knew why but he just kept following us around all the god damned TIME and it was fucking annoying, you guys.
Anyway, because of these newfangled 'friend' things - things of which I really hadn't had much of before the move at all - I was opened up and had a bigger chance of catching bugs (and not the little crawly kind that some kids like to eat for some reason).
This is where the flu comes in. And not just the flu, but the stomach flu.
Best Friend hadn't come to school for awhile and I was genuinely worried. Worried about her, if she had contracted some sort of deadly flesh-eating virus, if she broke her bones, or if she had died. But, I was also worried that had she caught something less-deadly and more annoying and contagious, that I would get it. Because you know, we're bros.
But, Best Friend came back a couple of days later, having been out maybe four total, and I forgot about it. Until it happened.
I remember coming home one day, maybe a month or five weeks or something after moving there, and was all chilling out on the couch and shit, with my mom on the other part of the sectional, when I was like 'oh god I don't feel good' but ignored the feeling because I'm retarded.
I then bent over, and promptly threw up.
Thus causing my mother to do a leap off of the couch, trying to catch my vomit with a blanket.
Such a lovely mental image.
However, she caught it and we avoided having to scrub the carpets.
I still felt like utter shit though, so I got to go sit in the bathroom. I thought, hey, y'know, maybe this will all be over soon. Oh god, oh sweet JESUS I was UTTERLY and HORRIBLY WRONG. It turns out that I wasn't blessed with having the stomach flu for only 24-48 hours - oh no, that would have been too easy - but I instead got the gift of having it for nearly 8 days. Over a week, y'all. A week of retching and being sore from doing so, and many times passing out because of fever.
I asked my mom if I was going to die, and she simply said, "I don't know." At that point, I just slouched over the toilet and tossed some more of my cookies.
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS FOR BOOSTING A YOUNG CHILD'S SPIRITS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO DIE.
Eventually, the bug spread to my mom, because she had to take care of me, and also to my brother. I couldn't go to my grandparents, because y'know they're old and so have weaker immune systems and we didn't need to get them sick, either. Plus they were like, 350 miles away because they still lived in Virginia. So I was stuck at home for almost two weeks because of that shit. It sucked.
But I kept teasing my brother, saying that there was a monster that lived in the toilet and that it was going to eat him if he turned his back.
He pretended to not believe me, but I knew he really did.
I could hear his terrified sobs through the bathroom door when I walked by.
But then I went back to school.
The Move
As I sit here heating up leftover pasta, listening to the soft, deep, rumbly, VRSSHHNNNN of the dishwasher, dealing with the annoying, aching pain from my surgery, wishing that things that need to be removed eventually were bred out of the gene pool, and imagining how simply amazing this dish of noodles will taste in all of it's saucy, three-day-old, soggy glory, I've come to realize:
I don't know what to blog about.
I could type endlessly about stories of when I was a child, and it would get me no where. I could tell you all about the time there was a duck stuck in the chimney, but what fun would that be? I could explain to you the night that I saw Santa Claus and decided that I wanted to be a reindeer hunter when I grew up, or I could tell you about the move. You know what, yeah, that sounds okay.
I'll tell you about the move.
A few years ago (read: a little more than six), I moved roughly 350 miles away, from the hustle-and-bustle city life of Northern Virginia - where you can find hookers and crack dealers every thirty feet starting at 6PM, it takes an hour to get to a grocery store that's 10 miles away, and whites are a major minority - to a quiet little town in Pennsylvania - in which it seemed no one had ever seen someone of African American, Mexican, or really anyone other than Caucasian, descent, where five cars behind one another at a stop light was heavy traffic and where you can still find whores and crack dealers every thirty feet starting at 6PM.
As you may be able to see, this was a huge change for me. Drastic.
Moving from the big city with hardly any life other than the people who live there and their pets, to a tiny town that people have only heard of maybe once in their lives (or once a year, but then they forget about it three days later)? There's a difference. A biiiig difference.
It all started when my mom started to see this guy. They started out as friends, and things progressively...progressed. Soon they started dating and after awhile, they decided they wanted to get married. Okay, cool. I didn't really like the guy, he was an asshole, but whatever made my mom happy, you know? Ohhhh poor 11-year-old me. I never thought that things would turn out the way they did.
Which included moving. States away. Five hours. To a place that I had only been once before, when I was forced to go - on the busiest day of the year, no less - and had to stay in a dank hotel room which smelled of week-old taquitos and burnt rubber. Where you could hear people having sex three doors down. That was an experience I did not enjoy, to say the least.
Of course, I knew what sex was, and what it was for, but I never knew about the sounds that could possibly be made while engaging in such an activity. And so, my little self was terrified with the thoughts of monsters coming to unleash their pent-up rage and frustration on the little town and everyone in it - more importantly, myself. I decided that had a monster shown up, I would use my little brother as a diversion and make for the car.
I didn't know how to drive, and it obviously wasn't (and still isn't) legal for an 11-year-old to drive a car, but who would question such a thing if a monster was on a rampage? Wouldn't everyone be busy fleeing from monster-wrath?
Either way, that night had been forever burned into my brain, and moving to that little town meant we'd have to stay in a hotel until we looked at and picked out, and bought a house, and until we got all of our stuff moved from our old house to our new house...or at least our beds. Until that point in time, though, we'd stay in that same hotel.
Luckily, instead of the two-bed, one-bathroom room with the table, tv, microwave and mini-fridge, we were able to rent one of the 'penthouses' - which is just a one-floor 'house' - since it was me, my mother, my younger brother, soon-to-be-stepdad, and my mother's parents all staying in the same place. So, it was pretty cool. There were two bathrooms, three bedrooms, a fold-out couch and a bigger kitchen and mini dining room.
So, basically, my brother and I had more room to run around and destroy stuff, and just generally be nuisances.
We managed to break a lamp, two mugs, and a chair.
The chair was on accident.
Anyways, 8AM to 5PM the next day was basically spent driving around town looking at houses. I was excited until about...10AM. Then I got bored, cranky, moody, and generally pissy. I didn't get much sleep the night before (due to more sex monsters), and though I did have pancakes at the breakfast bar in the hotel, it wasn't enough to heal my young mind from the 'show' I heard the night before.
I loved seeing new places, but I hated having to stay for roughly 2 hours in each house; especially when they were about 2,000 square feet and my little legs could wander around every nook and cranny of something that size and have my curiosity satisfied in about twenty minutes, as long as my mother didn't yell at me to stay close and to not wander off.
We went through probably 6 houses the first day, yet my mother and her fiance had decided that they didn't like any of the houses enough to want to place an offer. That was all cool with me, though, since all of those houses looked like shacks and smelled like rotten mangoes. However, it also meant that we'd have to continue driving around town, looking at many, many, many more houses until we found one that everyone (read: my mother and her fiance) could agree on.
To be blatantly honest, all of the houses we looked at sucked. Completely, utterly, sucked.
But, we finally found a house.
Whenever we walked into the house, I was amazed. Tile floors, pretty paint, and everything sparkling brand new, unlike the rotted-wood siding and floors, and peeling wallpaper that all of the other houses we went to see seemed to have. Sweet kitchen, open floor plan, awesome gaming room basement. Hell, my little self was in HEAVEN.
After seeing the first floor and the basement, it was time to go upstairs. A loft greeted us...along with a giant extra room over the garage that I instantly claimed as mine, had we bought the house (which we did wind up doing), and my brother cried about it. He got the next room we saw - a baby yellow bedroom. Fit him well that day.
Long story short, my mom and her fiance were very pleased with the house, as were my brother and I, so we decided to buy it.
Beautiful and brand-new, and 4,500 square feet, the guy who was selling it's fiance left him right after they finished having it built. So, everything inside the house, spare a few things of his own possession that he had left to move, came with the house. Awesome. Fully furnished house. This meant that I got to keep my mom's queen-sized bed, as the house came with a king-sized in the master bedroom. I was pumped.
So came the time that we had to haul everything from our old house to our new house...a ten to eleven hour round-trip drive. Luckily, most of the times my mom's boyfriend or my mom drove up, I had to stay with my grandparents, since I still had to attend the beginning of 5th grade, so I didn't have to sit through 11-16+ hours a day in the car. However, I did have to sit through 6-7 hours a day of elementary school, so I don't know which would have been better.
I did have to go with them a couple times on the weekends, though...and definitely the final move. That was the drive during which I decided I would forever refer to the PENSKE moving system as EKSNEP. I was less of a loser then than I am now.
We finally got to move into the house in late October, so I missed about a week of school from my old class because my mother decided that the last couple of trips, she would make my brother and me suffer through instead of letting us stay with my grandparents.
It was with good reason, however; because of the move, we'd have to change schools, and she'd like us to know exactly where our classrooms would be (even though we went from attending a multiple-hallway'd school with multiple rooms of every grade and a different room for everything to a single-hallway school with one classroom per grades K-5 that used the cafeteria for a gym, music room, auditorium and the art lady came to your grade room once per week for class. It was another big change for me.
Anyway, we got a little tour of the place, starting with my brother's grade 4 class. We didn't get to talk to anyone besides the teacher, who only said a few words to my mother, younger brother and the school's principal before a kid threw up on another kid and they started to fling it at one another, each yelling that the other threw up, and that the other started it.
Basically, his room was full of idiot crotch-loaves that threw fits like monkeys whenever something happened...whenever anything happened.
Luckily, we were excused by the principal to continue up the single-hall to the end, where my fifth grade class awaited. Knocking on the door, we were greeted by who would be my teacher for the rest of the year. He would be my teacher for the rest of the year.
Now, after having nothing but female teachers for everything but maybe a music or gym class now and again, suddenly having a guy teaching me my main, needed...things...for school was kinda scary for me. He was a pretty nice guy, though, so it (mostly) quelled my fears (I still wasn't looking forward to changing schools). I even got to look into the classroom - which was filled with 26 students staring back at me - to see what it looked like.
After the whole ordeal was over, we went shopping and then returned to the house, eating a nice hot dinner and watching some TV. Soon I got tired, and went to bed, happy as hell that it was Monday and that my mom wasn't making me attend my new class until the next Monday. Because of her wedding and shit.
That Saturday, my mom and Robert (her fiance) were getting married. I got to travel around with my mom and her friend to get her ready for the wedding (hair and nails and stuff like that) earlier in the day, so it was prettyfun boring.
The worst part, though, was the wedding itself. I fought my mom because I didn't want to wear a dress (I absolutely hated dresses and still do, in fact), and fought her so long and determined-ly that she allowed me to wear a suit instead.
Fuck, I looked so badass.
Anyway, sitting through the ceremony was a nightmare, so I entertained myself with a hope that there would be zombies stumbling up the hill to my house and I could be an 11-year-old hero, but I would keep a zombie as a pet and name him Angelo, and he would be my butler and bodyguard. However, none of that happened, at the end of the ceremony I got awesome food and tasty cake (leftovers which lasted us a week or more afterward) so I sucked it up and sat still, but still thought of how awesome it would be for zombies to suddenly invade. I was glad when it was all over and everyone left, because that meant I could dick around playing games on my N64 while my brother whored about the Xbox without any of our guests thinking I was even more of a hellchild than they had already come to believe.
The day was finally over, though, and I was so exhausted from being carted from the town to different cities and back again for my mom's 'makeover', and having to deal with the ceremony that I laid down in bed.
Laying in bed, though, I suddenly started to think about something.
In order for me to be here, on this planet, my parents would have had to have sex.
This is perfectly normal and shouldn't be surprising to anyone, but it suddenly dawned on me that my mother had given me her old bed. Where my father and she used to sleep. I don't think she had gotten the mattress changed, and even if she had, she had a husband (who obviously was her boyfriend) now.
I realized I was sleeping on the bed where I was MADE, and I wasn't too happy about that.
I still sleep there every night, though, and my mother and Robert are no longer together, so I'm happier (like I said earlier, he was an ass). And I often think, that maybe if I keep the same bed, I can freak my own kids out someday. I'll change the mattress and all, but they won't know that.
I can't wait.
I don't know what to blog about.
I could type endlessly about stories of when I was a child, and it would get me no where. I could tell you all about the time there was a duck stuck in the chimney, but what fun would that be? I could explain to you the night that I saw Santa Claus and decided that I wanted to be a reindeer hunter when I grew up, or I could tell you about the move. You know what, yeah, that sounds okay.
I'll tell you about the move.
A few years ago (read: a little more than six), I moved roughly 350 miles away, from the hustle-and-bustle city life of Northern Virginia - where you can find hookers and crack dealers every thirty feet starting at 6PM, it takes an hour to get to a grocery store that's 10 miles away, and whites are a major minority - to a quiet little town in Pennsylvania - in which it seemed no one had ever seen someone of African American, Mexican, or really anyone other than Caucasian, descent, where five cars behind one another at a stop light was heavy traffic and where you can still find whores and crack dealers every thirty feet starting at 6PM.
As you may be able to see, this was a huge change for me. Drastic.
Moving from the big city with hardly any life other than the people who live there and their pets, to a tiny town that people have only heard of maybe once in their lives (or once a year, but then they forget about it three days later)? There's a difference. A biiiig difference.
It all started when my mom started to see this guy. They started out as friends, and things progressively...progressed. Soon they started dating and after awhile, they decided they wanted to get married. Okay, cool. I didn't really like the guy, he was an asshole, but whatever made my mom happy, you know? Ohhhh poor 11-year-old me. I never thought that things would turn out the way they did.
Which included moving. States away. Five hours. To a place that I had only been once before, when I was forced to go - on the busiest day of the year, no less - and had to stay in a dank hotel room which smelled of week-old taquitos and burnt rubber. Where you could hear people having sex three doors down. That was an experience I did not enjoy, to say the least.
Of course, I knew what sex was, and what it was for, but I never knew about the sounds that could possibly be made while engaging in such an activity. And so, my little self was terrified with the thoughts of monsters coming to unleash their pent-up rage and frustration on the little town and everyone in it - more importantly, myself. I decided that had a monster shown up, I would use my little brother as a diversion and make for the car.
I didn't know how to drive, and it obviously wasn't (and still isn't) legal for an 11-year-old to drive a car, but who would question such a thing if a monster was on a rampage? Wouldn't everyone be busy fleeing from monster-wrath?
Either way, that night had been forever burned into my brain, and moving to that little town meant we'd have to stay in a hotel until we looked at and picked out, and bought a house, and until we got all of our stuff moved from our old house to our new house...or at least our beds. Until that point in time, though, we'd stay in that same hotel.
Luckily, instead of the two-bed, one-bathroom room with the table, tv, microwave and mini-fridge, we were able to rent one of the 'penthouses' - which is just a one-floor 'house' - since it was me, my mother, my younger brother, soon-to-be-stepdad, and my mother's parents all staying in the same place. So, it was pretty cool. There were two bathrooms, three bedrooms, a fold-out couch and a bigger kitchen and mini dining room.
So, basically, my brother and I had more room to run around and destroy stuff, and just generally be nuisances.
We managed to break a lamp, two mugs, and a chair.
The chair was on accident.
Anyways, 8AM to 5PM the next day was basically spent driving around town looking at houses. I was excited until about...10AM. Then I got bored, cranky, moody, and generally pissy. I didn't get much sleep the night before (due to more sex monsters), and though I did have pancakes at the breakfast bar in the hotel, it wasn't enough to heal my young mind from the 'show' I heard the night before.
I loved seeing new places, but I hated having to stay for roughly 2 hours in each house; especially when they were about 2,000 square feet and my little legs could wander around every nook and cranny of something that size and have my curiosity satisfied in about twenty minutes, as long as my mother didn't yell at me to stay close and to not wander off.
We went through probably 6 houses the first day, yet my mother and her fiance had decided that they didn't like any of the houses enough to want to place an offer. That was all cool with me, though, since all of those houses looked like shacks and smelled like rotten mangoes. However, it also meant that we'd have to continue driving around town, looking at many, many, many more houses until we found one that everyone (read: my mother and her fiance) could agree on.
To be blatantly honest, all of the houses we looked at sucked. Completely, utterly, sucked.
But, we finally found a house.
Whenever we walked into the house, I was amazed. Tile floors, pretty paint, and everything sparkling brand new, unlike the rotted-wood siding and floors, and peeling wallpaper that all of the other houses we went to see seemed to have. Sweet kitchen, open floor plan, awesome gaming room basement. Hell, my little self was in HEAVEN.
After seeing the first floor and the basement, it was time to go upstairs. A loft greeted us...along with a giant extra room over the garage that I instantly claimed as mine, had we bought the house (which we did wind up doing), and my brother cried about it. He got the next room we saw - a baby yellow bedroom. Fit him well that day.
Long story short, my mom and her fiance were very pleased with the house, as were my brother and I, so we decided to buy it.
Beautiful and brand-new, and 4,500 square feet, the guy who was selling it's fiance left him right after they finished having it built. So, everything inside the house, spare a few things of his own possession that he had left to move, came with the house. Awesome. Fully furnished house. This meant that I got to keep my mom's queen-sized bed, as the house came with a king-sized in the master bedroom. I was pumped.
So came the time that we had to haul everything from our old house to our new house...a ten to eleven hour round-trip drive. Luckily, most of the times my mom's boyfriend or my mom drove up, I had to stay with my grandparents, since I still had to attend the beginning of 5th grade, so I didn't have to sit through 11-16+ hours a day in the car. However, I did have to sit through 6-7 hours a day of elementary school, so I don't know which would have been better.
I did have to go with them a couple times on the weekends, though...and definitely the final move. That was the drive during which I decided I would forever refer to the PENSKE moving system as EKSNEP. I was less of a loser then than I am now.
We finally got to move into the house in late October, so I missed about a week of school from my old class because my mother decided that the last couple of trips, she would make my brother and me suffer through instead of letting us stay with my grandparents.
It was with good reason, however; because of the move, we'd have to change schools, and she'd like us to know exactly where our classrooms would be (even though we went from attending a multiple-hallway'd school with multiple rooms of every grade and a different room for everything to a single-hallway school with one classroom per grades K-5 that used the cafeteria for a gym, music room, auditorium and the art lady came to your grade room once per week for class. It was another big change for me.
Anyway, we got a little tour of the place, starting with my brother's grade 4 class. We didn't get to talk to anyone besides the teacher, who only said a few words to my mother, younger brother and the school's principal before a kid threw up on another kid and they started to fling it at one another, each yelling that the other threw up, and that the other started it.
Basically, his room was full of idiot crotch-loaves that threw fits like monkeys whenever something happened...whenever anything happened.
Luckily, we were excused by the principal to continue up the single-hall to the end, where my fifth grade class awaited. Knocking on the door, we were greeted by who would be my teacher for the rest of the year. He would be my teacher for the rest of the year.
Now, after having nothing but female teachers for everything but maybe a music or gym class now and again, suddenly having a guy teaching me my main, needed...things...for school was kinda scary for me. He was a pretty nice guy, though, so it (mostly) quelled my fears (I still wasn't looking forward to changing schools). I even got to look into the classroom - which was filled with 26 students staring back at me - to see what it looked like.
After the whole ordeal was over, we went shopping and then returned to the house, eating a nice hot dinner and watching some TV. Soon I got tired, and went to bed, happy as hell that it was Monday and that my mom wasn't making me attend my new class until the next Monday. Because of her wedding and shit.
That Saturday, my mom and Robert (her fiance) were getting married. I got to travel around with my mom and her friend to get her ready for the wedding (hair and nails and stuff like that) earlier in the day, so it was pretty
The worst part, though, was the wedding itself. I fought my mom because I didn't want to wear a dress (I absolutely hated dresses and still do, in fact), and fought her so long and determined-ly that she allowed me to wear a suit instead.
Fuck, I looked so badass.
Anyway, sitting through the ceremony was a nightmare, so I entertained myself with a hope that there would be zombies stumbling up the hill to my house and I could be an 11-year-old hero, but I would keep a zombie as a pet and name him Angelo, and he would be my butler and bodyguard. However, none of that happened, at the end of the ceremony I got awesome food and tasty cake (leftovers which lasted us a week or more afterward) so I sucked it up and sat still, but still thought of how awesome it would be for zombies to suddenly invade. I was glad when it was all over and everyone left, because that meant I could dick around playing games on my N64 while my brother whored about the Xbox without any of our guests thinking I was even more of a hellchild than they had already come to believe.
The day was finally over, though, and I was so exhausted from being carted from the town to different cities and back again for my mom's 'makeover', and having to deal with the ceremony that I laid down in bed.
Laying in bed, though, I suddenly started to think about something.
In order for me to be here, on this planet, my parents would have had to have sex.
This is perfectly normal and shouldn't be surprising to anyone, but it suddenly dawned on me that my mother had given me her old bed. Where my father and she used to sleep. I don't think she had gotten the mattress changed, and even if she had, she had a husband (who obviously was her boyfriend) now.
I realized I was sleeping on the bed where I was MADE, and I wasn't too happy about that.
I still sleep there every night, though, and my mother and Robert are no longer together, so I'm happier (like I said earlier, he was an ass). And I often think, that maybe if I keep the same bed, I can freak my own kids out someday. I'll change the mattress and all, but they won't know that.
I can't wait.
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