Tree giraffes, Lady Gaga, Charlie Barkin and Santa, and My Little Pony

I swear, every time I go to sleep, I have a strange dream. Even if I don't remember them, I have a strange dream. There's absolutely nothing that I can think of that would have any effect on me, there's just...nothing I can think of that I've been doing, that I've eaten or drank, and since I don't do drugs or drink or smoke or anything like that, then that rules out just about everything. Plus I eat and drink different things and hardly ever right before I fall asleep so it just makes no sense.

Examples of said dreams:

Tree Giraffes

I've had a recurring dream ever since I was probably around 5-ish that makes me go wat. This dream consists of me being in my grandparents' kitchen at their old house in the middle of the woods, with my grandmother, making turkey and mashed potatoes. However, my brother was yelling for me so I was being a responsible bigger sister and ran out onto the carport, into part of the driveway, and to the left. Towards three trees kinda on the other side of the driveway area.

Shown: shitty art depicting my travels towards the tree of giraffe

Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I then just kinda moseyed on over to that blue-circled tree on the left, and heard singing, so I stopped. Now, I'm pretty sure that most people who would be walking by a tree and heard singing would, well, get the fuck away from it if they were normal people, or weren't curious 5-year-olds. Anyway, I stopped, looked over, bent the branches back a little bit, and saw an entire goddamned rainforest inside of that tree, complete with waterfalls. And then three giraffes stuck their heads out from around those branches on the inside and started singing.

 

And of course five year old me acts like this is completely normal and keeps walking, around those trees because I hear noises. So I...keep walking, and soon see my brother and grandfather throwing rocks at a little hill/embankment thing near the shed.

I really didn't know what the bloody fuck they were doing so I just kinda stood there, and then that dragon magician lady from Sleeping Beauty (Disney version) and she flew up into the sky, as a dragon thing, but not really into the sky just...she was still kinda in the ground I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE, SHUT UP but then she damned us all to hell or something then I ate mashed potatoes and then woke up. What.
Charlie Barkin and Santa

 

Also had a dream that had me at a beachhouse for my friend's birthday party, I went to use the bathroom and was washing my hands when the smaller wall to the left of me with the window just...dropped, and Charlie Barkin was driving Santa's sleigh and was like LOL LET'S GO and I was just all LOL, OK and I didn't question anything. But we flew through the clouds back to wherever the hell is it Charlie goes and it was pretty awesome. Itchy was there too.

Lady Gaga

 

And while I'm typing all of these dreams up, I can't possibly leave out the one that involved Lady Gaga. No, of course not, because that would be ridiculous. Anyway. I was working putting on masks on these headthings that were in drawers - keep in mind, I was outside, and it kinda felt like that cemetery in Left 4 Dead 2, but the drawers were all in rows and shit and I was between a forest and a highway - whenever I was thinking shit, shit I NEED to get this done before something BAD happens and I had no idea what that 'bad' thing was, but then something exploded and I was just like fuck.

So I'm standing there looking around and Lady Gaga drives up in this...van/truck thing and is like GET IN and I'm just all UH, OKAY so I get in and she's telling me all about what's happening and I'm not paying attention because I'm holding a guitar and I had no idea how it got there. So a Jamaican man suddenly pops up behind us in the truck (kinda like a prison truck thing, or an ambulance) and he just says GIMME 'THA GEETAH, MAHN and I'm just staring at him so Lady Gaga looks over to me while we're driving down this highway and is like GIVE THE MAN THE GUITAR so I did and he starts playing heavy metal rock and then reggae music on an acoustic guitar how does that work? I don't know

Anyway the man is playing reggae, Gaga is driving and I'm sitting in the passenger's seat just trying to figure out exactly what the flying fuck is going on. However, we're driving down this highway (which is surrounded by trees for some reason) and there's like...other highways on bridges crisscrossing above us with giant dogs like those regular-sized ones from Silent Hill were jumping off of them onto OUR road trying to get us. And there were soldiers running out of the forest shooting guns and then getting mauled and killed by these dogs.

Lady Gaga is wearing her headpiece from Telephone's sandwich making scene and she's ripping off chunks of it and throwing them and they're grenades. Oh, and it regenerates the pieces she ripped off. So I was just all wat. 

Anyway she decides to stop at this one place in the woods (somehow we went from driving on a highway to driving offroad through a clearing in the woods) and well, we stop and all that and we have to choose Pokémon. I had a Mightyena and Luxray, Gaga had a Jynx and Milotic, and Jamaican guy had a Charmeleon, and his guitar.

So then we fought our way up the top of Mercy Hospital from Left 4 Dead with our Pokemon, and then I woke up. That dream was wonderful.

My Little Pony

Last night, I had a dream that I worked in a bakery and was making cakes; however, everyone believed that 'simple cakes that are only one color and flavor' like 'vanilla with white frosting' or 'chocolate with chocolate frosting' or 'lemon with lemon frosting' are the only acceptable ways to make a cake. 

However, I was a rebel and made a My Little Pony cake, complete with a blueish main color, cloudy things around the edges, a standing Twilight Sparkle and hovering Rainbow Dash, and a rainbow that actually shone. Keep in mind, those things were all STANDING on the cake; but they were made out of cake and nothing else. They were just...what.

Anyway.


I have weird dreams.