Once upon a time Best Friend and I decided we wanted to go to BearTown. BearTown is a place full of gigantic rocks that are sometimes covered in ferns and are fun to climb on, jump and run across, and generally do parkour and be idiots on.
Best Friend and I convinced my mom to drive us there - since we were like, 14 or 15 and couldn't drive ourselves. That's illegal.
The drive was all fine and dandy and whatnot, and as soon as Best Friend and I arrived, we commenced the whole 'acting like idiots' thing. Running around, jumping off big drops, and flailing helplessly through the air over gaps that were probably a bit too dangerous to jump across, but that we jumped across anyway.
Now, we were having a good time. Just...being idiots. It's what we tend to do best (other than singing and dancing, because our singing and dancing is just simply beautiful and everyone should love, appreciate, and worship it).
But then, as we were chilling out on this huge rock behind some green ferns - that for some reason I couldn't stop petting - there were a couple of kids that came along. Two boys, somewhere within the age range of 9-12. And they were looking for this girl...I think her name was 'Jessica' or something. I don't remember, I'll ask Best Friend later.
Anyways. They kept saying that they 'saw you hiding up there, Jessica' and Best Friend and I are like 'what the fuck who is Jessica' to each other. We then yell 'We're not Jessica' but those little boys insisted that we were damn well that we were Jessica and they were going to make sure that we knew our place. So we kept yelling and jumped to another rock (which was too far for their little legs to jump and would send them to a flailing, horrible end - even if they had somehow made it up to the rock where we were originally).
So we were like 'lol okay that's over' and continued to dick around. It isn't a very large park, but it's not extremely small. However, I knew where the hell I was going and I made sure to let Best Friend know this.
We got lost a few times.
At one point, we found this teenage guy (18 or 19) trying to climb onto a rock, and swearing at himself because he couldn't make it up, even though there were natural steps three feet away from him. I think he may have been drunk.
He was amazed when Best Friend and I were on top of the rock and he wasn't. Yes, Mister Drunk Man, we are wizards.
Eventually after a couple of hours out in the harsh wild we got tired of shenanigan-ing around on top of rocks, so we got back to the car and decided to go to an actual...park kind of area. There was a tower there, and though the sign clearly said no more than seven persons in the tower at a time there were probably around 20 or 25 teenagers crammed into the room at the top. Also, this tower was very near to a 50-100 foot drop off.
Best Friend and I decided it would be a great idea to go ahead and try to climb up there.
I chickened out because I'm a pussy because the tower was leaning. Guys it was...fucking leaning. I love towers and all that, but there's no way I'm going to climb one if it's on the edge of a huge drop off, is not very strong against wind (it was rattling and moving and kalsjfaskg), and there's about 3-4 times the amount of people allowed on the tower at once. No. Wasn't happening.
Best Friend went up most of the way, came back down and we sat in the middle of the woods away from a clearing. Best Friend then continued to yell, 'WE ARE THE QUEENS OF THE JUNGLE', to which I replied, 'Dude we may be married but I'm pretty sure we're not lesbians'. Best Friend then says, 'Says who?'. Best Friend is a butt and made me question life. I don't know why. But she's still a butt.
While there, we went down to the parking lot and found some huge stone in the ground. Which we proceeded to draw on, and make references to Monty Python.
I even drew a dead parrot.
However, we did need to leave and get something to eat, so we did so. We went to a place where we always went after going to BearTown, because they have delicious food. Also, animals. They have a petting zoo and I'm pretty sure that that's the main reason we ever started to go there in the first place.
Anyway, after eating, we decided to go out and have a look at the animals. Pet them, feed them, look at them and creep on them. All of that fun stuff.
So, we go into this area, and Best Friend had bought some corn from a machine to feed animals. She's trying to feed a small goat, and this fat goat keeps getting in the way, attempting to steal small goat's food. Best Friend wants to give small goat food, not big goat. So she scolds him. 'No, you're a butt, you don't get any food.'
The goat made a strange 'MEHHHH' sound, and spit on best friend. Big goat then proceeded to follow us around as much as possible, even though he was on the other side of the fence; the way it was set up, there was a fence on the side of the walkway to allow animals to roam more and for people to 'interact' with them better or more or something.
Big goat kept trying to get at Best Friend's corn. He kept 'meh'ing and just being a jerk. We called him and asshole and went to look at the fennec foxes and chinchillas. Because fennecs and chinchillas are two of the most adorable animals ever.
There was also a bear and some wolves, which we decided that we would escape with, riding. She'd take the bear, I'd surf the pack of wolves, and we'd scoop up chinchillas and fennecs (respectively) to serve as our fluffy minions and/or foot/lapwarmers.
While we were there, Best Friend made fun of the sloth.
She was also hit on by a parrot.
And that's how Best Friend and I stalked, back-talked and harassed all in one day, without being arrested.
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