Saturday, March 26, 2011

This is probably why I don't have many female friends (or friends in general)

Anyone who knows me even remotely should know I have a little bit of a problem 'befriending' anyone that I haven't been exposed to before through friend-of-friend contact; and even then I have a hard time growing attached to anyone. Especially if the person I'm supposed to 'befriend' happens to be a person of the female variety.

I've come up with several reasons for this.

With girls, there's a huge list. It probably starts with the fact I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone of the female gender in general except I have a vagina and leak blood from it more or less every month. Obviously there are exceptions, but those exceptions are few in number. I don't even wear girly clothing. There's no way that shit would ever be allowed on my body, ever. The only exception would be a dress at my private wedding, or possibly prom. Otherwise I'm wearing a tuxedo to all formal occassions, like I've done all the years past.

The girliest things I own are my bras and some frilly panties that I don't even know why I own them, seriously. But they're South Park so it balances them out, right? Right? Other than a few pairs of said frillinesses, I wear boxers. Yes, guys' boxers. They're roomy, comfortable, and don't get all up in your business like female underwear does. Only exception to wearing those is during shark week, that's it.

Nearly all females I'll attempt to talk to try to get me to wear a dress, put on makeup, wear other girly clothes or...have sex. Yes, girls have tried to talk me into having sex with Boyfriend because it's 'normal'. I'll come back to that later. Just thinking of that fills me with so much what is this i dont even that I really have no idea what to say at the moment.

The other thing? Girls, for the most part, are back-stabbing daughters 'o wenches. All the time I hear about Girl A back-stabbing Girl B by...doing something completely retarded. 'A broke a promise to B, and went out with B's ex, even though B is totally over him she's really jealous' is something I hear a hell of a lot. If...if you're over someone...you shouldn't care if someone dates said person you're over. Hell, be happy for them. You don't have to, but you don't have to be a dick about it either. The person isn't 'yours' anymore. You don't control their actions or thoughts and you never have and never will.

Or. Or. Or. They tell a person they barely know a superomgsecret and then, well, obviously, the person they told tells someone else. Because they're not your friend so you shouldn't trust them. There are some times when there's stuff you shouldn't even tell your best friend. So why in the hell would you tell someone who barely know? Telling someone you barely know a secret and then flipping the fuck out whenever they spread it - you know, like people tend to do, especially in high school - isn't 'backstabbing'. Sure, it's kinda rude, but it's to be expected. If you don't expect that, you're retarded.

Okay. That last bit was a horrible example but I'm pretty sure you know what I mean.

Anyway, going back to the things I listed earlier; if you're my friend, you won't try and change me or what I do, unless it's hurting me or someone else in some way. Telling me to 'stop drawing' because you think of it as 'childish' and that it'll 'never help you [me] get anywhere in life' does not make me want to be your friend. You know what it does? It makes me want to punch you in the face.

And trying to...force me to have sex. What. Just...what. How does that even make sense? I really don't understand.

Okay, so you and your boyfriend are having sex? Good for you, but don't try to bring me and Boyfriend in on it saying I'll be 'less stressed' if we have sex.

Last time I checked, I'm a severely paranoid fuck. If I had sex now, when I haven't even graduated high school yet, and Boyfriend hasn't even moved so much as closer to me, or in with me, then why would I have sex? I'm going to be freaking out thinking I could be pregnant the first time it happens, which will stress me the hell out. If I'm going to have a pregnancy scare, I'd rather it not be while I'm in school - especially high school. I'm already stressed out enough and I always seem sad or pissy even when I'm perfectly fine because of that stress. I don't need to add the fear of pregnancy to that.

Seriously.

And with guys? Okay, I can usually befriend guys more easily than I can the girlies. However...

Guys are more likely to be dicks. Which means they're more likely to be the ones talking about kicking eachothers' asses when it never happened in the first place, or just generally being rude.

That, or they're massive perverts and don't try to control themselves. I've had massive problems with this in the past because, hello, fellas, if you've a girlfriend then stop checking out other women and love your girlfriend. You picked her. If you want someone else, then let her go so she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. Jesus.

And a combination of the first two; m- no, wait, boys- often think that 'friends' means 'sex'. Um, no. Last time I checked, friends means friends and not 'sleeping together'. Because sleeping together is what a couple does.

Not to mention, many guys don't want a serious relationship. Which can be okay. HOWEVER, that apparently means they can go out and bang as many women as they want and think they don't have to suffer the consequences if they get one or more women pregnant. They try and run away. Especially the teenagers; but I've seen this happen with guys of all ages.

There are very few guys who aren't dicks. There are also very few that aren't extremely perverted to the point where if they see a girl they get a raging hardon and try to pound the nearest thing with a pulse until it has a pulse no longer.

Oh god I totally lost the point of this post


I've been awake since 2

2

cut me some slack

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